How the upper middle class live

[LisaJool]

Apologies for yet another class thread but I find this fascinating. Off the back of a thread I started watching a TV series about British aristos and their stately homes. This lead to other YouTube videos and a podcast.
Some observations I made:

1. The women all have great bone structure with the infamous MN UMC swooshy hair.

1. A lot of "sleepless nights" and hand wringing about how they can maintain their homes, which they are "custodians" of. Many have had to do tours/homemade jams/souvenirs to try to bring in extra money. But, their dc go to private schools - surely the first thing you'd do is remove them from that to save money or get rid of the ponies?

1. Re decor, lots of chintz like you'd expect in lovely formal rooms but their kitchens look like something Kim and Aggie need to tackle. Clutter covering all available workspace, books, riding gear, pet bowls etc, lots of knick knacks. Someone on another thread stated that the 'clutter free' movement is a class thing, with it being a LMC to working class thing. Not sure if this is true but interesting all the same.

I don't know anyone who is truly UMC as in old money or landed gentry types. For those who are acquainted, what are they like and how do they live?

Exactly like this! Our local UMC types ( think land agent) who live in the manor house red cords. Terribly naice. Have a golden lab called Boris. Kitchen is huge and a tip.

I don't know any but would describe these sort of people as upper class rather than upper middle if they have manor houses and landed gentry. Or is it just people with titles who are considered upper class?

I imagine their houses must all be draughty and impossible to heat. Their clothing is all probably expensive but nothing with logos. We have a few large country houses in the countryside around where I live. My town has a pricy, old-fashioned tailor and a couple of boutiques which remind me of a posh version of Country Casuals. I don't know a single person who shops in them but they've been in business for years and years and still seem to be doing well so I'm assuming it's all the posh set who keep them going.

A good friend of mine is from a titled family. They have an enormous house in rural North Yorkshire that's been in the family for hundreds of years. His parents live in the old gatehouse, which is a fairly small cottage. The 'main' house is beautiful but barely fit for purpose. There are buckets all over the place to catch rain leaking through the roof. Rotten windows - I don't know how many. It's a labour of love. Lots of patching up. Rooms and rooms of handed down stuff. Plus attics and cellars. There are so many rooms, my friend doesn't even think he's been in all of them. They're essentially farmers who barely break even. They can't afford the staff to run the place that their ancestors would have had a couple of generations back. My friend's not going to inherit the house - it's going to his older brother. It's a millstone, to be honest. They did go to private school - but definitely no ponies. Not sure how it's all funded - they don't do tours or anything. I know they had a valuable painting that was sold a few years back. If you met them in the village pub you wouldn't guess they had a pedigree that goes back to William The Conqueror. They're just like all the other local, posh-ish country families with North Yorkshire accents and battered Land Rovers.

Agree that Upper Middle Class is not anywhere near Aristocratic, which is what you’re describing!! UMC in my mind are middle of the road private schools or state selective school, working in finance or proper professions/traditional professions. Spare disposable income. Kids at top 10 unis. Nice luxury holidays. Enjoy good quality in life. What you’re describing is a whole load more than that!!! How can you think that stately homes and aristocratic links are UMC is beyond me x

If you live in a stately home or a big county house, you are UC, whether aristo or more recent. Manor House can be UMC.

Over their dead bodies would they put their kids in state schools, it’s tribal - and they don’t need to - they aren’t broke, they have just taken the decision to stay in a house that costs squillions a year.

Jam is neither here nor there - if you open to the public you get lots more grants, that’s why they do it.

I do know some, and most are OK and some are tossers like the rest of the population. A lot of the wives these days don’t come from the same background so they aren’t necessarily clueless about how most people live, although the husbands can be.

Yeah I think it is - generally - true that people further up the scale are less bothered about cleanliness. It’s coming from a line of people with less to prove I think. That and cleaning a big house is more boring/expensive.

Not British and don’t get the whole class things but…

I can’t imagine someone starting a thread about how working class people have dirty bathrooms or whatever.

Family I know are UC. Clothes may have been expensive once, but generally all their clothes are worn until they fall apart, and the good quality tweed jacket has probably been handed down from Grandfather or Great-Uncle James. Furniture equally old, no IKEA Billy bookcases in sight. Probably a bit cluttered (which I like as a style btw), but the cleaner organises them a bit so never gets to hoarder levels.
I think most of the UC women are very practical, happy to do fencing on the estate, pluck the chickens, or cook a meal for a dozen without batting an eye.

Apologies for my mistaking the aristos for UMC, I thought on MN it was said that only the Royals are UC? Like a pp said, many of them marry 'down' and its usually the woman who marries into the family and marries 'up'.
Another thing I noticed is their use of clashing clothing prints, but somehow it doesn't look horrendous and works well.

"I thought on MN it was said that only the Royals are UC"

Diana Spencer was a lot posher than the family she married into.

I don't know any but would describe these sort of people as upper class rather than upper middle if they have manor houses and landed gentry.

I agree - anyone who is raising funds by giving tours and selling souvenirs of their house/estate must surely be upper class?

UMC don't live in houses people pay to look round.

I know one. Like a pp said, they are basically farmers and the property is rather a millstone that takes over their life. They have a large kitchen garden and it's very much a working kitchen. They turned the out buildings in to a bnb to help fund it. They are generally very frugal. Very lovely people.

Yup, the royals are practically arrivistes for some people.

I love these threads.

The UMC gods are: heritage; education and dogs.

Horses are not really what they once were. Dogs, however, remain key. Agas may or may not be slipping off the list too.

I always felt that aristos are upper class. Upper class comes from wealth, breeding or both. I think a couple of decades ago and wealth still didn’t buy you into it but that feels like it’s evened out a bit.

I was brought up as UMC - selective private school, three holidays a year, parents with professional jobs and a reasonably big house. Went horse riding every weekend but didn’t own the horse. Not enough money or breeding to be UC but didn’t massively worry about paying bills either.

UC go to boarding/public schools, have houses abroad that they summer or winter in, parents with director level jobs or a series of non-exec directorships/board members for charities and the like, and live in mansions/stately piles/pied a terre in London etc. Probs studied sculpture at St Martin’s College. 😁

Gawd, our class structure is a weird old thing, isn’t it?

I have decided I am upper working class.

Yup I know an UC family.
They rent most of their land to local tenant farmers who pay rent / % share of seasonal profits.
The house is nicely done up and to period standards and is used as a 6 bedroom B&B.

Their life is the B&B, but they work hard and have a good standard of living. They're quite down to Earth. It's all from her family.

The upper middle class are the real winners. Loads of cash and no crumbling estate or other tedious responsibilities.

This is a serious question, but would they go shopping in Lidl and buy the dc fish fingers for dinner? Although they kept going on about how poor they were on the programme it didn't hinder their ability to throw lavish dinner parties.

I think they might shop at Lidl, but they'd make the fish fingers from scratch!

They would definitely eat Lidl fish fingers. Upper class people don’t care about food much.

Don’t forget battered Volvos.

UMC in my book is parents who are lawyers, senior civil servants, doctors, etc

Take a keen interest in the arts - theatre, concerts, classical music, the Proms. Rugby 6 nations

Drive quality but not flash cars - Volvo, Subaru, Tesla

Not necessarily private schools - think champagne socialists

Nice house, regularly upgraded, in solidly middle class areas. Ramblers clubs, Photography society, Lions clubs, amateur but quality music groups

Wear smart jeans to restaurants. Never ties. Don't really dress up to go out any more (but men used to wear jackets and women always in dresses).

I wonder if the money for the schools comes from trust funds specifically for that, hence why the children still go even though they’re struggling for money?

Red cords. That's not UMC. That's UMMC