How the upper middle class live

[LisaJool]

Apologies for yet another class thread but I find this fascinating. Off the back of a thread I started watching a TV series about British aristos and their stately homes. This lead to other YouTube videos and a podcast.
Some observations I made:

1. The women all have great bone structure with the infamous MN UMC swooshy hair.

1. A lot of "sleepless nights" and hand wringing about how they can maintain their homes, which they are "custodians" of. Many have had to do tours/homemade jams/souvenirs to try to bring in extra money. But, their dc go to private schools - surely the first thing you'd do is remove them from that to save money or get rid of the ponies?

1. Re decor, lots of chintz like you'd expect in lovely formal rooms but their kitchens look like something Kim and Aggie need to tackle. Clutter covering all available workspace, books, riding gear, pet bowls etc, lots of knick knacks. Someone on another thread stated that the 'clutter free' movement is a class thing, with it being a LMC to working class thing. Not sure if this is true but interesting all the same.

I don't know anyone who is truly UMC as in old money or landed gentry types. For those who are acquainted, what are they like and how do they live?

UC 'gels' often work in high-end London galleries as it's the best place to shop for high-worth men shopping for expensive artwork. I know because I've played guess the price with them on an afternoon off with a friend which they found fun because they're bored and so happy to play along with an obvious non-customer. All immaculately groomed with perfect skin and teeth and wonderful cut glass accents and a little bit thick as well...

Yes, you never seat husbands and wives together unless there’s a mobility issue or one needs help.

@whenindoubtgotothelibrary Snap. And in real life, stealth social minefields set up by Nancy Mitford are still exploding all over the place. Some PP read them and think they are 'how to' books... I'll be retreating back to the airing cupboard now.

The Upper Class are nicer is not true.
It is true if you can waft about from lunch to a spa to the gym all day, you will be less stressed and less like likely to get impatient. It is also true you don't experience the stigma poor people do and downright coded rudeness which naturally causes anger.

I recently joined a support group, mentioned I was having treatment, and had two different women asking whether I’d had this privately or NHS?

Is this a regular normal question? I always assume NHS unless someone states otherwise.

Whether it's a normal question will depend heavily on the kind of treatment. Some treatments are hard to access via NHS.

They night be jealous if you are getting it for free and it is costing the

The UC don't go to spas or the gym. You're thinking of the LMC.

(I do both, btw )

A common cancer treatment.

Princess Diana did

Interesting replies, thanks for the insight. What a pp said about them always understating their wealth makes sense, in every podcast/video they make a point of saying they don't have money. One poor family even had to sell their Chelsea summer penthouse, I felt quite sorry for them as she was gutted.
One Lady was saying how the British taxpayers don't like the thought of paying for repairs on "heritage homes", but really they should contribute more as if the owners/custodians can't afford it these homes will have to be sold and the heritage lost forever. That seemed to me as if she was a tad removed from the real world - in the current financial crisis the Lords and Ladies and the preservation of their heritage is quite far down my list of recipients!

I'm just finding it fascinating what people consider 'upper middle class' - and I wonder if it's a city/rural difference?

What the OP has described (and I know has accepted it is) is to me 'Upper class'; I'd consider myself 'Upper middle class', certainly my upbringing which was very much as @sorcerersapprentice describes (only we didn't have any interest in sports). Detached large house in suburbs, 'cultural' outings and holidays etc.

But maybe now I've backslid to 'mere' middle class with pretentions, what with everything getting more expensive! 😜

Fair point (and my comment was tongue-in-cheek).

Diana never seemed keen on many of the UC cliches anyway.

@Echobelly yes sorry I did mean UC.

Rude! (said Miranda style)
But really, yes, very, very rude. Unbelievably inappropriate.

All the best OP, I hope you're doing well!

Diana was a loose cannon.

In the period between WW1 and WW2 many of the British upper class had massive dividend income from the boom in Germany's rearmament, think Krups, Skoda etc etc.
My uncle, 99, was born in the Somme and they all knew Germany was building up military strength in direct contravention to the treaty of Versailles.
Money talked.
Funny, he hates Churchill because he sold bomber Harris to the wolves. My aunt and I are related to the Churchill family. So was Lascelles private secretary to George V and VI, which is why he resigned, only coming back when Churchill had gone, so as not to embarras the King.

My poshest friend has friends round for supper and they have tinned soup.

I know quite a few people with quite normal jobs who have private health cover as a work benefit, maybe these women do too?

Are they landed gentry with own pile etc?

You can only become charming anecdote if you serve tinned soup if so

Unfortunately I think many of the inheritances are running out. And the 2.2 in sculpture isn’t much help after all.

I've always associated what you describe as being upper class, not UMC but I guess you're right. I've met SO many posh types with massive piles of houses and there is invariably half a dead cow on the kitchen table that they are chopping up for one of the many chest freezers in the out houses.

I knew a cleaning lady who refused to sell the Lady of the Manor's raspberry jam at her stall at the village fete as it often had rabbit fur in it - they tossed their shot rabbits and raspberries together into a chest freezer in an outhouse then took out handfuls of whatever they needed - berries or rabbit leg.

Yes that’s why I would call them upper middle rather than aristos

Arriviste Noveau UMC to boot - but wash those genes through blue blood and you have a newly minted UC gold standard. The Royals prefer a gipsy broodmare for genetic diversity and are more controllable than true blood like Diana. 😁

Don't you mean "Jupsaah"? 😂