If you were privately educated, are your children?

[roarfeckingroarr]

And if they aren't, do you feel guilty? Was it a moral choice or a financial one?

I had a wonderful experience of private education. I was very very lucky. I always intended to give my children the same opportunities. Now I have a toddler and I'm pregnant, I just don't know if I can afford it and I feel huge guilt. I probably could, just, if we pulled back on everything else.

Argh.

Please don't turn into a private school bashing thread.

Dh was privately educated from 8-14 and said ds would never go to a private school. I was fine with that. But yes, we're in a good area with good though not in any way exceptional state schools.

I grew up in Dublin where it's cheaper and more common to go private than the UK
Is it common?

DH was private for secondary, on a bursary. I was private for years 6-11, at a selective, highly academic exam factory for all that they pushed the 'all round' vision of what they offered. They absolutely got the best out of me academically at GCSE and my A levels were much worse at state secondary than they would have been if I had stayed. I didn't enjoy my time in private school, was bullied and it was my choice to leave for 6th form.

DH was opposed to sending DD private on financial grounds and I went along with it, I was much more torn. There would have been a lot of sacrificing to pay the fees, and we'd always have been second tier in the status stakes! As it is, now in yr 8, she's thriving in a good state secondary 5 minutes from home, with friends in walking distance and time for far too many hobbies. Because I'm not shelling out for fees, I can shell out for her far too many hobbies. I think she's likely to get very good grades (flightpath has her on 8s and 9s) in her school and with much less pressure than she have if we'd gone private. So I think it's looking like the right choice. Fingers crossed!

Still not common, just more than the UK. It's variable with the state of the economy, a high of around 10% throughout Ireland but currently around 7-8% according to Google. However the percentage would be higher in Dublin because rural areas don't have private schools except some boarding schools. According to Google around 6-6.5% of pupils are in fee-paying schools in the UK.

I think you are right that it is about chances and the children do some lovely things, but sadly rarely with their own family. But they also seem particularly permeable to being sold a ‘brand’ from boarding prep and public schools, about all the wonderful life opportunities and social contacts they offer. It seems a huge part of their family identity is associated with their children attending certain schools. Whereas those of us who have been through the system can see through some of the more colourful marketing hype.

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar I always thought it was in line with the U.K. Obviously it's higher in cities, Edinburgh & London will be over 10% & when looking at 6th forms across the country its closer to 20%.

Well that’s only a choice if you have the money to do that, same as if you chose to go private.

Agree

In some walks of life the “old school tie” still counts for a lot.

FWIW, yes, my kids go to a bog standard local comp. We do not lord it over others with the size of our house, as has been suggested. We have not moved to be in a particular catchment. Kids with stable, happy home lives and aspiration will do well wherever they go. A big part of the academic success of private education is down to getting bright kids from stable backgrounds all in one place

@pinata I agree with this. I work in education so can see past a lot of the marketing, there are just some things not possible to fit in a school day, and kids don't actually need a lot to achieve.
My friends are very new money. They have moved their DD from a very sought after comp to a 'dim but rich' private school. They both went to very average schools and lived on rough estates so this was the dream. Their kids aren't super smart but they both work in industries where they see how private school gives a leg up. I just don't think it's the school they've chosen, or the time in history where this will happen for them.
They've both been massively shocked at the amount of issues present and lack of value for money. I am certainly not shocked.

Agree @Meadowbreeze it's a very different time now compared to when we were at school.

Back in the day, a private school education was something to be proud of. Now more and more people are actively recruiting from the ranks of the state educated.

The old school privilege has rather fallen out of fashion and it's seen as more admirable to do well without having it handed to you.

I had some private education at prep level. DH went to a prep school and then minor public school.
DC attends an outstanding state primary and will go on to an independent secondary school. And if the DC can’t afford any future grandchildren’s private education, we will fund that too.

@Perfectlystill yup, exactly. I think there is definitely a place for indies though, especially with the current cuts in education. I personally wouldn't shut them down or even tax them extra.
I do think they are 100% successful because of the type of kids they accept as already mentioned.
Education is so complex though, and a lot of the successful comps are also full of kids who's parents can afford houses in the 6 digits, and could probably afford private.

Yes I am all for private schools and see no reason to scrap them.

Your ignorance is astounding. Since when did SEN mean less able? It is very often very much the opposite. My DD has SEN. You would never know if you met her. She is a delightful girl and very popular both in and out of school. She is highly accomplished in sports and music. Oh and she is consistently at the very top of the cohort in her super selective London school and is on track for four A stars at A Level. And she is in the final stages of one of the most competitive and prestigious Uni courses in the country. I think your precious non SEN DC would be doing very well if they end up achieving half of what she has achieved in spite of her SEN. Maybe you should send them to school with some SEN kids and see if they can keep up.