Why are so many women so obsessed with having girls?

[TreacsPotNoodle]

(Not all women of course.)

But it seems to be so common that pregnant women are desperate for a baby girl! Why is this?!

3 of my friends who had babies around the same time as me were so disappointed to find out they were having boys and have made a point to "keep trying until they have a girl"

I'm not trying to be goady I just genuinely cannot think of why baby girls are so favoured over baby boys?

It’s just cope.

Objectively boys have more SEN and behavioural problems. They are more likely to be homeless, substance abusers and commit suicide. They overwhelmingly make up the prison population.

I cannot imagine why people think raising boys is somehow easier. If it goes wrong, it can go really, really wrong in a way that doesn’t really happen with girls.

@MintyFreshOne oh dear ..... and where did you find those statistics??

biggest load of shit I have probably ever read.

ny friend works in a prison and chose to work the men's prison after seeing the woman's.

No one has much choice in what they have, all anyone can do is try and be the best parent they can and raise whichever gender to be a good person. All these comments like this one, and those saying how relieved they are to have girls, how much closer they'll be throughout their lives etc, how do you think that makes mums of boys feel? It's been horrible reading this, I adore my little boys they aren't a consolation prize/a prison risk.

Oh so just because your prison guard pal doesn’t want to work in a female prison, these objective statements don’t matter?

Men overwhelmingly commit the vast majority of crimes. They also are more likely, as I said, to experience homelessness, substance abuse, and commit suicide. It’s not even close.

Imagine the heartbreak of their mothers.

how do you think that makes mums of boys feel? It's been horrible reading this, I adore my little boys they aren't a consolation prize/a prison risk

This is more to address a PP on why mums of boys say some of the things they do; that little girls are XYZ.

I think we need to recognise that it IS harder to raise boys, and it’s often out of our hands as to how they’ll turn out (so maybe don’t blame mothers).

Those badly behaved boys we remember from school—surely you don’t think they all have terrible mothers, do you?

@MintyFreshOne

I do agree. I have 3 kids. Two sons, one daughter. They have a strong father which they absolutely need. IF… and we all have these random unpleasant thoughts sometimes, my husband died it would be so, so much harder to raise my sons (now in adolescence). When they were young they were actually very easy. Energetic yes but nothing a park trip or a run couldnt sort out 😉. Now in adolescence they absolutely need their father around and I count myself as an able mother. I wouldn’t have that worry and sense of huge responsibility with my DD. Of course raising teen daughters is also never easy but I definitely know what I’m doing.

I wanted one of each and DH wanted all boys (we have DD+DS)
There's so much pressure on boys from an early age, DS is into ballet and musical theatre. dh is certain he will be bullied for this but fine for DD to do her sports. The expectations for boys are more narrow ime than girls.

Full disclosure, i love pink and sparkles so have enjoyed doing that with DD (DS also likes princesses etc to a lesser extent)

MIL is closest with her DS2, then her DD, then maybe me, then DH/DS1. In fact she's got both mine all day today as im unwell - i think she would prefer to hear a bit less from me on that front haha

But you would still be a MIL to your daughter's husband??? Or doesn't that count?

Because you are so overly stereotyping. Of course men and women don't all have the same characteristics! Some girls are tom boys and some boys are very gentle and sensitive. All human, all different!!

Some are, yes. But - it’s a simple fact of life that men tend to be less emotional in their expression, more logically minded, more aggressive. Women tend to be more emotional/empathetic, have more of a ‘nurturing’ personality, and be less aggressive.

This is MN so I’ll be met with cries of ‘social conditioning’ but twas ever thus.

It really does puzzle me yes. Because if you're pregnant you know the chances of having a boy or girl are 50/50 and I find it hard to believe someone would get pregnant just in the hope of having a girl and knowing they will be disappointed in finding out it's a boy.

No gender disappointment from me. I suffered with an eating disorder for 7 years and didn't have a period for 5 so thought it would never be able to have children.
When I found out I was pregnant I felt so grateful to be able to raise a child I couldn't even imagine feeling disappointed with a certain gender.

Well, that’s you OP. People can be disappointed at the gender. They can be disappointed at having a c-section. They can be disappointed it’s twins, or that it isn’t twins. Very few women let the disappointment continue past meeting the baby, it’s because an ‘abstract’ baby or a ‘dream’ is very different to the one(s) in your arms. You don’t need to understand it.

You clearly don't spend lots of one-to-one time with different boys and men.

They acted differently alone and in very small groups to how they act in larger groups.

@Bettyboop3

Of course. Usually less troublesome all round though.

Because they want "mini me's" 🤢

I haven't found this but no idea. I have always wanted one of each, as my ideal. But if I end up having 2 boys, I won't feel disappointed (I have one boy). When I was pregnant I was excited about having a boy just as much as having a girl, I really didn't mind what he was.

@Cuppasoupmonster people say this from time to time but that is genuinely not my experience of men/boys. My dad is the most wonderful human being I have ever met and perhaps its made my experience with boys and men different (my mother is a narcissist though). I have been surrounded by loving, nurturing, emotionally brilliant boys and men all my life, including my own sons who fill me with so much pride and joy. They are such amazing human beings and the world is a much better place with them in it.
Looking back, its mainly my relationship with girls and women that have been fraught. I find often them insincere, manipulative, whiny and entitled.

you know the chances of having a boy or girl are 50/50 and I find it hard to believe someone would get pregnant just in the hope of having a girl and knowing they will be disappointed in finding out it's a boy

Slightly more likely to have a boy, actually. And then, even more likely to have a boy with each subsequent boy. Not the same effect for girls apparently. (So watch out if your DH has lots of brothers!)

Again, that’s you. It might not be another woman’s experience.

Indeed, which is in the very first sentence of my post.

You can have a preference without being ‘disappointed’ with the opposite.

I have 4 children - girl, boy, boy, girl. The only one I thought ‘oh I hope it’s a ….’ Was ds2, as he (and dd2) are from my second marriage, and dh has 2 daughters so thought it would be nice if he had a son. Wouldn’t have been disappointed if he were a girl and neither would dh (he never voiced a preference. In fact, I found out the sex at the 20 week scan and he banned me from disclosing to him as he wanted to see at the birth)

I think tiny tears/baby Annabelle/baby born have a lot to answer for. From not much bigger than babies children are playing with girl baby dolls, their first experience of role playing being a mum, caring for them. Is it any wonder?

@StarryKnight there's baby Alexander (Anabelle's brother), and Baby Born do boy babies. I wonder if girls tend to prefer the pink ones though! I specifically always wanted boy dolls when I was a girl, and he had to be anatomically correct! Maybe I knew then I'd be a boy mum (so far 1 boy!)

And yet here you are, spending time on an almost all-women website…..

ergh what are you talking about?

& why is that if even true? Nature or nurture? Too many people bring boys up to think that's the way they should behave!