Why are so many women so obsessed with having girls?

[TreacsPotNoodle]

(Not all women of course.)

But it seems to be so common that pregnant women are desperate for a baby girl! Why is this?!

3 of my friends who had babies around the same time as me were so disappointed to find out they were having boys and have made a point to "keep trying until they have a girl"

I'm not trying to be goady I just genuinely cannot think of why baby girls are so favoured over baby boys?

That is just ridiculous!!! 🤣🤣🤣

@Bettyboop3

Well good for you. I have a daughter too. That’s why I said the general rule of thumb is daughters remain closer to parents in adulthood. Obviously there will be exceptions but it’s cultural in this country. MIL bashing is the norm on Mumsnet can you blame people for not wanting to be the “MIL”.

For me it was the assumption that i'd have more in common with a girl. I was worried if we had only boys that they would just want to hang out with their dad all the time, playing sport or computer games, watching football etc. And that is the reality and I do sometimes feel left out (and other times grateful for the break!!!) BUT boys LOVE their mums!

Why?

@Tailfeather

Until wifey comes along yes 😜.

@Dalaidramailama WAAAAAAH!

@Tailfeather

You never know we could be the exceptions to the rule 😜 🤞.

I absolutely adore my boy, when your little one arrives they will be the most perfect thing. I’m from a girly family but wouldn’t change what I have for that world. Congratulations!!!

I have twin daughters & a baby girl. I was hoping for a boy as this will definitely be my last baby . But love her tons . My husband has never voiced a preference. I think I was hoping for a boy because they seem more cuddly & little girls are very independent. My brother gets on brilliantly with our mum & sees her once a week at least . Dad not always there as he works away a great deal .

Jalepenojello

"Because my mum is my best friend and I don’t see many men with that type of relationship with their mum"

They'd be accused of being a 'mummy's boy', emotionally stunted, or still attached via umbilical cord. Maybe more men could be 'best friends' with their mum if it was socially acceptable to do so?

They've probably watched too much Gilmore Girls haha 😂

Because I wanted to raise a strong feminist daughter.

Because I'm another one here with no decent male role models (horrible dad, bullied by boys at school).

But I had two sons, and the responsibility of raising them to be decent, fair human beings who are emotionally aware and take full responsibility for themselves in this patriarchal society is crushing.

I always wanted at least one daughter. Nothing to do with when they're babies, pink etc.
As an adult, I've an amazing, close relationship with my mum and sisters, so I guess I wanted to recreate that.
I'm not particularly "girly" and have a senior role in STEM. In fact a friend asked why she never sees my daughter in dresses - I don't want her to be disadvantaged when trying to climb/play etc, so I generally dress her in trousers. She shares most of her clothes with her twin brother.
I'm also delighted to have an amazing son, and hope to continue to have a very close relationship with both children as they grow up. As a generality, I think I might have more common interests with a daughter, but will try to be interested in both their hobbies/interests to help forge a close relationship.

My friend said her daughter was trying for a girl after 3 boys because "she wants to do all the girly stuff, the frills and the pink..."

I have one daughter and 4 sons. She is second eldest. One son is disabled (highly unlikely to marry etc). One son is gay - we get in extremely well. I enjoy his humour and intellect. I also have a very close relationship with disabled son. Two sons in relationships. One married with 2 kids. I really would value more of his friendship and support but he has a wife and two children to consider. The final son (middle out of the 5) I have been estranged from for almost 10 years. His choice. He lives with his partner and daughter who will be 10 before Christmas.
My daughter is married with 2 children. I have tried with the two sons who are in relationships but it is very hard to maintain a mother/son relationship of any sort of quality. As the years pass I become much closer to my daughter.

I always knew I wanted a daughter - absolutely.

I didn’t want a child I could dress up in frilly pink dresses, since that categorically isn’t me.

I wanted a child who would have many of the same life experiences as me, as a girl, young women, woman, etc. Those life experiences are just different from men’s.

DC1 is a boy, and he’s an utter delight. Caring, sweet, empathetic, loving, kind, funny, cheerful,
musical and sporty. All I could have hoped for.

DC2 is a girl, and she’s equally amazing - smart, insightful, hilarious, loving, thoughtful, kind, sporty, inquiring, persistent and sensitive.

And I do have different relationships with each of them. Not because I have forced gender roles or expectations onto them. But because of who they are. I would have absolutely missed the mother-daughter experience, if I hadn’t had a girl. Little did I know it would be as good as it is, either.

That’s how I felt when I got a girl for number 3- nothing to do with pink or frills or bring a narcissistic mini me or any crap where I impose gender stereotypes on her. The reality is my daughters life will partly be shaped by the fact of her sex and that will make her life different from boys in a number of ways. It will also be shaped by the gender expectations of society placed on her sex, and I want to be there to support my daughter to navigate these various forces and attributes and grow into a strong confident woman who can be whoever the fuck she wants to be while acknowledging and being proud that she is a woman.
I adore my boys with my whole heart, but their challenges will be different.

I have 95% female friends, and so do most of the women I know.

Most of us are not stereotypically girly at all, but women and girls do tend, in general, to relate to each other in a way that is different to the way we relate to platonic male friends, acquaintances and relatives. That's why we tend to make friends with each other.

It's not usually about pink, shopping trips, spa days, sparkles or nails; it's about the type of human connection you get with other people who are also female.

Men and women do, on average, think and talk rather differently, get interested in different things, have different ways of discussing things and supporting each other.

Gender non conforming people obviously exist, but are the exceptions that prove the rule. Most boys and men are not gender non conforming. Most are just typical male people, for better or worse!

Given all this, I do find it understandable that men often really want a son and women, a daughter. I don't think getting "only" the opposite sex is the end of the world--in the great scheme of things, it's not that important. But I also don't judge anyone who says they feel a bit disappointed at some level.

Couldn't you say this about anything though? People generally want a neurotypical, academic, sociable but not too sociable, attractive child with great skin, hair, teeth etc.
I cannot tell you how many arguments my DD's hair has caused between me and my in-laws. Her hair is like mine, thick curly and frizzy. If you comb it, it makes it worse. Also she's autistic and loathes having her hair brushed, it's like torture for her. My MiL buys shampoo for her every time we see each other, and before my DD even gets through the door MIL is there trying to comb her hair. I've even heard the old 'if she was my daughter, she wouldn't go out with her hair like that'. MiL always wanted a girl but actually she wanted a compliant girl with tame hair who would let her comb and braid it for hours.
I often wonder what some of these women do if they get a daughter who is nothing like what they imagined. I imagine they just project a personality onto their child which doesn't really fit. Like those thick men who say 'oh he's a right little bruiser, my Ted' when Ted can generally be found weeping in the corner with a slightly bruised knee.

We all have our expectations of what our children will be like. Some parents do not have the awareness to think that maybe in genes vs nurture, certain genes will win and also there will be other influences. They are not your mini- me!

What I mean by the people want neurotypical children thing is the fact that a lot of parents idealise their children's future, personality, social life based on a neurotypical version. Part of raising a ND child is adjusting that vision. So my dd may still go to university but she may not be ringing home with stories from Freshers week and telling me about all the new people she's met. But that's more than ok.

I think a lot of people simply think that girls are cuter babies. It's always been the case that shops market colourful and varied clothes for girls and boring navy/green/brown for boys. I was thrilled to have a boy and just as pleased when I had a girl later on. But my in laws were clearly more excited about the girl, saying how they couldn't wait to buy pretty dresses and go girls clothes shopping. As it turns out, my son was always mistaken for a girl and my daughter is always mistaken for a boy 🤷‍♀️

This ^

I am not the daughter my parents wanted or imagined. I have spent my life disappointing them in various ways.

It's been like the proverbial square peg and round hole, but they kept hammering.

Since my mum died I'm slightly closer to me dad but I really struggle to forgive them for things like the school they sent me to, and then the VI form.

They are not your mini- me!

I really don’t think this is why many women want daughters.

I don’t want a ‘mini me’. The beauty of my daughter is that she’s quite different from me in so many way. I am learning so much from being her mother.

Saying women want a daughter so they get a mini me seems so simplistic and wide of the mark.

Does this really puzzle you, OP? Because the answer seems very obvious, even if you don't feel that way. You can't think of any reason at all? People usually relate best to others of the same sex. That's really no secret.

Tbh when I read these threads I always think that the OP actually has gender disappointment themselves, so has started the thread knowing most of the responses will be people saying it's rubbish or that boys are the best anyway.

Tbh when I read these threads I always think that the OP actually has gender disappointment themselves, so has started the thread knowing most of the responses will be people saying it's rubbish or that boys are the best anyway.

Agree with this. It’s always amazing how quickly these sorts of threads descend into a hate fest about girls and how awful they are.

Not my experience at all.

Yes, some girls/women can be awful, but so can some boys/men. Meanwhile, all the good friends I’ve had throughout my life have been girls and women. No wonder I want to raise one.