Why are so many women so obsessed with having girls?

[TreacsPotNoodle]

(Not all women of course.)

But it seems to be so common that pregnant women are desperate for a baby girl! Why is this?!

3 of my friends who had babies around the same time as me were so disappointed to find out they were having boys and have made a point to "keep trying until they have a girl"

I'm not trying to be goady I just genuinely cannot think of why baby girls are so favoured over baby boys?

They want to dress them up, go shopping, have girly pamper sessions, have had bad experiences with men, think girls will always stay close and keep in touch etc etc
But girls don't always fit that mould.

Some really low opinions of women on here and stacks of sexist bullshit.

I think this is a really good point. I'm not close to my Mum at all and while I've been blessed with children from both sexes, I did want a girl because (in hindsight) I wanted the lovely mother/daughter bond I thought everyone had.

I have a great relationship with all my children, however I probably have the closest relationship with one of my sons as we're very similar so I think it's what people think they want until their beautiful baby arrives and then sex doesn't matter.

I've noticed this among my friends and people I know although I've always been happy with my one lad, I've never felt like I needed a girl.

Not close to my own mum at all, but my brother is. He lives locally to DPs. I don't.

I have four children and didn't mind each time what sex they were.

I truly wasn't interested in having a daughter. I grew up with 4 sisters and couldn't be arsed dealing with another female. I have 3 boys and 1 DD and when I found out i was pregnant with my DD (she is number 2) i was glad I found out so i could prepare myself emotionally.

I knew someone who had three boys and she said I will never get the opportunity to be mother of the bride and would only ever be the MIL and not viewed as important as the boys don't carry the children. I hadn't even considered it but then you come on MN and reddit and see the number of DIL who hate their MIL and stop them seeing their kids or MIL being pricks to DIL.

As a mum of adult sons this really is very true. Although we / they visit etc I find they do much more with their partners families.

So true - you’ve only got to read the vitriolic threads on here about MILs - sometimes justified but mostly just arsey precious DILs who don’t give a shit. Anyone with half a brain can see why a mother might look less favourably at the prospect of that in her future.

Who is they?
Everyone who has a preference for a girl is so they can show off on SM?!

What a load of shite

@mynameisbrian amongst my family and friends there are plenty of cases cases where there is only the paternal grandparents around/alive, or the paternal grandparents are the only ones interested in that family unit.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4661328-young-men-who-get-stuck-doing-nothing?page=1

Avoiding this sort of thing would be another good reason to have a preference for girls...

''@FriedasCarLoad
I cared for my mother almost full time for her last few years. My brother visited every couple of months. Even before she was I'll, I called most days and my brother called when he needed money.My mother and her sister cared for their parents. My father's parents were cared for by a daughter in law. I know there are plenty of exceptions, but I still suspect women are generally better at keeping in contact, visiting, and caring. I was delighted to have either, but I can understand why women hope to have a daughter.''

Are you suggesting people have kids primarily so they can be their carers in old age?

I also think that some of these women end up having to do all the care because there is still an expectation that this is woman's job and pressure is put on them to do so.

I ideally wanted one of each (I have twin girls) because I was one of each. I did probably have a preference for girls because:

I am close to my mum so wanted to emulate that relationship

Whilst I had some lovely men in my life I've always tended to get on better with women

I was petrified of dealing with a penis nappy wise! Sounds stupid and obviously I'd have learned but I was.

So for me it was the familiar.

RedWingBoots I know- my DC have a better relationship with my DH parents than my own.

I however have a good relationship with my children and have always got on well with my older sons girlfriends and they always feel welcome at my home. I would hate them to feel uncomfortable or I acted like a possessive ass over my son. I do see that my eldest boy can go weeks without reaching out whereas my DD can message daily. However it isnt down to lack of care he is happy to spend time at home having a meal with me and catching up that way rather than small talk over text . (My DD keeps all her BF away as she worries her dad will judge so she tells me all about it)

I cringe at all the “because they’re closer to their mums” stuff because it puts extra pressure and expectation on to the relationship. My mum clearly wanted that from me after two sons, and although I love her dearly and appreciate everything she’s done for me, we have very different interests and outlooks on life, and I end up feeling guilty and inadequate for not being the “best friend” she hoped for.

I have one of each. My daughter is like me, we have the same interests and energy levels and temperament. My son is like my husband, very different.
I wanted a healthy baby first a foremost, but if I could select the sex I would have chosen a girl, as I am one, only had sisters and my husband already had two boys.

I did hope for a girl when I was pregnant because DH would expect a boy to be circumcised and I didn't want to have that fight, plus I wondered whether I would know how to be a mum to a boy. I found out I was having ds at 20 weeks and I just adore him of course and always have. He has friends of both sexes but his closest friends are other boys and I adore all of them too. He is his own person and quite conventionally boyish in some ways, mostly just a gentle, level headed and thoughtful young man. I came to feel relieved that I didn't have to shepherd a girl through her youth, I think it's very hard.

Always had a preference for a boy and had 2 - I never really had any desire to have a daughter but do have the best wee granddaughter imaginable

When I had my first I was desperate for a girl. I think at the time it was down to the fact I felt like I could relate to a daughter more than a son. I believed in all the stereotypes which were not as challenged back then. I thought boys would be all shouty and loud and run around with stick pretending to be guns. I was super girly and had no idea about "boys toys" etc. I wanted a daughter I could dress in pretty clothes and take to ballet and I preferred girls names (I cringe at my thoughts now). My first child was a boy - honestly I was genuinely devastated at first, and it took a while for me to come round to the idea.

By the time he was born I couldn't care less. ( I definitely loved looking at girls clothes still though).

I went on to have two of each and now could not care less what sex baby number 5 will be.

As a mum of boys I get rather angry about this. I wanted a little person, I didn't care if they were a boy or girl. I also think it's an awful way to think about your children, implying they will do until someone better comes along.

@alotoftutus stereotypical girls clothes tend to be impractical for playing in.

Apart from knickers we buy clothes from either "boys" or "girls" section depending on what my DD likes.

In fact my DD's baby and young toddler tights were given to a baby boy as he had the same habit that my DD had of randomly taking his socks off and losing them.

I wanted boys but either would have been lovely. I don’t know anyone who wanted a particular gender.

@RedWingBoots I'm now older and wiser and couldn't agree more. My youngest daughter is 2 is everything I thought I wanted a daughter to be - and it drives me nuts 😆 she literally will refuse to wear anything that's not pink, can spin (like a tutu) or has rainbow sequins on. I now fight with her to put something on to play in mud in the woods that's not a party dress! It's a case of be careful what you wish for 😆

The only time my heart ever aches because I have two boys and won't ever have a daughter, is when I read about how boys don't bother with their parents when they are adults and it's all about the wives family. I want to cry at the thought of losing them and I hope so much that it won't be my future. They are so loving and affectionate and make my heart explode, I would absolutely hate to 'lose them'. I'll make the most of my snuggly little mummy's boys while they are still this little. I wouldn't change being their mum, it's just fear for a lot of boy mums because of this general train of thought. I think it's why so many boy mums really do go on about being boy mums and as people say online "boy mums make it their entire personality" I think it's defensiveness and maybe a bit of fear!

I wanted a little girl because I had a horrendous childhood and lived through poverty and abuse. I wanted to do all the things I never got to do with my daughter. I ended up with one of each and I love them both immensely, but I do have a very deep bond with my now teen DD. I am so happy to see her grow up in the way I could only have dreamed about. She was an IVF baby too, so all the more special to me. My son is also lovely and he's a real sweet soul, but it's just different with a mother daughter bond. All it's done is shown me how messed up my own mother was not to care about me or my sister.