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Original poster

Why are so many women so obsessed with having girls?

254 replies

TreacsPotNoodle · 24/10/2022 16:12

(Not all women of course.)

But it seems to be so common that pregnant women are desperate for a baby girl! Why is this?!

3 of my friends who had babies around the same time as me were so disappointed to find out they were having boys and have made a point to "keep trying until they have a girl"

I'm not trying to be goady I just genuinely cannot think of why baby girls are so favoured over baby boys?

OP posts:
Skelligsfeathers · 24/10/2022 16:13

No me either
I find it baffling

mummybearcub2022 · 24/10/2022 16:14

I think it’s because girls tend to be closer to their families in adulthood compared to boys.

CheezePleeze · 24/10/2022 16:14

No idea but I think it's true, so many women are.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
JamSandle · 24/10/2022 16:15

I dont think girls are favoured. In most of the world boys are. As for the UK I dont know. Most people seem to want one of each (at least).

HermioneWeasley · 24/10/2022 16:15

Women who really want girls tend to want them as little dolls - they want to dress them up and do “girly” things together. They tend to have very stereotypical expectations of behaviour.

KimberleyClark · 24/10/2022 16:15

Because they want mini me’s?

Creamypumpkinsoup · 24/10/2022 16:16

I think you’ll get lots of replies about wanting pink and princesses. Maybe that is the case for some women, but I think it’s more about wanting another female in the family, to relate to, in some ways it’s almost like giving birth to yourself and guiding your way through life and putting the bad stuff right. Of course it’s not like that, but it’s still a desire even if you know that desire isn’t rational.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 24/10/2022 16:16

Maybe they are close to their mums and have concluded that it's because of their sex? They have similar interests and assume a daughter would also have similar interests and have visions of girly days out together etc?

Chickenpeppers · 24/10/2022 16:16

Probably because they believe they'll have the fairytale mother daughter relationship and do girly things together when in reality all that does is reinforce gender stereotypes from a very young age and teach girls they should dress and act a certain way and like girly things.

WarblingEttie · 24/10/2022 16:16

I think this preference for girls isn't a bad thing given that boys are favoured the world over.

Original poster
TreacsPotNoodle · 24/10/2022 16:17

@HermioneWeasley

That's the only reason I can think but then surely if that's the reason you want a child you're probably not ready?

OP posts:
Original poster
TreacsPotNoodle · 24/10/2022 16:20

I know so many men that have such a lovely relationship with their mothers so I don't think women are necessarily closer to their mothers than men.

I'm so close to my little boy and we have the best days out together. I don't think having a girl would feel any different to be honest.

OP posts:
miceonabranch · 24/10/2022 16:20

Emotional immaturity alongside a certain degree of narcissistic mini me feelings.

Some parents take it even further and have their toddlers transed in the event of gender disappointment.

People need to grow up.

Isithotinhere · 24/10/2022 16:23

I hoped for a girl as I felt I could understand the challenges she'll face more than with a boy.

And I do prefer female company - most of my close friends are women.

Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 24/10/2022 16:23

I have wondered the same. Thing is, I'm very close to my mum and never had the desperation for a daughter that I see others have. My mum said she was the same and was very close to her mum too. Our theory is that women who aren't close to their mums, or wish they had been closer as children, have girls to try to create something they feel they missed out on. Of course we are probably totally wrong but this is based on anecdotally the women we know who've had the worst gender disappointment with boys have the worst/most difficult or even no contact relationships with their mums.

bravelittletiger · 24/10/2022 16:23

I wanted a girl. I would have been happy with either but in my heart I wanted at least one girl. I don't dress her up as a doll and she's certainly not a mini me. In fact as a feminist that's the opposite of my parenting approach.

Some reasons I wanted one- I think girls are often closer to their mothers when they grow up. Not always of course but of all the men I know (including my DH) the woman in the relationship replaces their mother in the sense that they become their number 1 person to turn to and ultimately their wife is their first priority. I suppose if I'm honest I hoped to have a better relationship with my daughter than I do with my mum. We are close but things could be improved between us. I craved that closeness (again it's not a given obviously). I think the feminist in me wants to raise strong daughters- there are more than enough men who are strong and have lots of opportunities in life. I suppose boys stereotypically are different to girls in a way that doesn't appeal to me massively- again it's a generalisation but boys tend to be more rough and physical and their puberty is physically a bit gross!! I enjoy the softer side of girls that is more typical to girls.

As I say I caveat all this with saying I would very happily have a boy and I would be thrilled to have a boy if we had another child but I'm also very glad I've had a girl as that is what I wanted for my first.of course a healthy baby is what matters and none of the things I've mentioned is a given with girls.

SirSamVimesCityWatch · 24/10/2022 16:23

I'm not "girly" but I am glad I had girls. I didn't mind what I had with the first, but with the second I wanted another girl and was pleased that she was. It's not anything to do with pink and sparkles and glitter - which is good as Dd1 is not into those things at all. I think my preference came from years as a teacher, dealing with aggressive, entitled teenage boys, and the overall number of pleasant, well behaved, non-arsehole girls Vs the overall number of pleasant, well behaved, non-arsehole boys. I came across lots of twattish boys and girls, of course, but overall the odds are better with girls. I also am much closer to my parents than my brother is and than my DH is to his parents, so I probably am extrapolating from that and hoping my girls will still be close to me when they are adults.

doingitalllagain · 24/10/2022 16:23

I have a son, and I'm expecting my second son shortly. I was thrilled to find out I was having a little boy, he is so affectionate and sweet and just brilliant through and through. I'm excited to have a second boy because I think he will get a more long term relationship out of it, in my experience sometimes brother sister relationships are temporary (was so close with my brother growing up, now we get on and keep in touch but wouldn't say we are still friends, the opposite is true with my sister). I feel like you see more long term close relationships in same sex siblings - again generalising as I know some siblings don't get on at all etc.

Is part of me sad that I might never have a girl now, as I think I'm done having kids financially anyway! Yes, a little. Nothing to do with frilly dresses and tea parties though girls clothes are unfairly nicer than boys more just as a woman myself, I did always imagine raising one, and yes there is the stereotype that you will be closer with a daughter in adulthood that I can't say doesn't cross my mind. It doesn't mean I'm disappointed at all about my boys, and will do everything in my power to raise them to be respectful, kind men and will hopefully get those female relationships with their future wives/partners.

FriedasCarLoad · 24/10/2022 16:24

I cared for my mother almost full time for her last few years. My brother visited every couple of months. Even before she was I'll, I called most days and my brother called when he needed money.

My mother and her sister cared for their parents. My father's parents were cared for by a daughter in law.

I know there are plenty of exceptions, but I still suspect women are generally better at keeping in contact, visiting, and caring.

I was delighted to have either, but I can understand why women hope to have a daughter.

Donatellaa · 24/10/2022 16:25

In some cultures they are desperate for sons. I was surprised to hear 'women want daughters' when I fell pregnant in the UK because where I come from men AND WOMEN prayed for and delighted in having as many boys as possible.
My observation is that daughters tend to be close to her family even after marriage and they tend to develop bonds with both parents. Boys can go either way. Either a mummy's boy (not attractive or desired) or a blokey bloke in which case won't see mum much once he has a gf or wife. Daughters stay close to parents unless something bad happened.

Mydoggosarethebest · 24/10/2022 16:26

I always assumed it was for the dressing up, doing her hair, getting nails done together, shopping trips, being 'mother of the bride' when she grows up etc. I am not close to my own mother in the slightest, and I treat my daughters the same way I treat my son. However I am not 'girly' in the slightest and I'm not interested in makeup nails or hair, so I may have felt more strongly about wanting a girl if I was?

I genuinely just wanted a healthy baby, and after experiencing losses it's literally all you care about.

homarrrerr · 24/10/2022 16:26

The main reason I didn't want a boy is because I feel like when they grow up they move on & don't necessarily make the effort to see their Mums.

I'm aware that that isn't always the case (obviously). But my brother couldn't give a flying fart about going to see my parents. When he does, he just gives one word answers and basically they are just not close. A lot of the men I know don't spend much time with their Mums once they have a partner and it's as if they move on. All my female friends are close with their Mums, go for lunches with them etc. the relationships just seem so different to me.

My partner though is incredibly close to his Mum. Messages every single day, sees her most days. I know she was quite upset when we initially got together and she complained to him that he wasn't seeing her enough. I think it's quite a common thing for the Mums nose to be put out of joint when a new woman arrives on the scene and "takes her son" off her.

toastedcat · 24/10/2022 16:27

I really wanted a boy but I do think that was unusual among my peers! I think possibly it's because maybe as women we feel more intimately acquainted with girlhood and "girl stuff"? Maybe a bit of narcissism thrown in there too, wanting a mini-me to dress up?!

Duttercup · 24/10/2022 16:29

I've never seen a thread hammering men for wanting sons but "narcissistic mini-me women" comes up so often.

BrieAndChilli · 24/10/2022 16:30

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. As primary aged children and toddlers there was no difference but as teens I am closer to my daughter in the face that she wants to do things like come (food) shopping with me, likes to do crafts etc like me.
But then saying that me, DH and DS1 all watch quite a few (SciFi)TV shows together to the point that we are finding it hard to find things to watch when DS isnt there!
In terms of closeness I am closer to DS2 in terms of cuddles etc but he is only 11 so probably wont last much longer!