Why are so many women so obsessed with having girls?

[TreacsPotNoodle]

(Not all women of course.)

But it seems to be so common that pregnant women are desperate for a baby girl! Why is this?!

3 of my friends who had babies around the same time as me were so disappointed to find out they were having boys and have made a point to "keep trying until they have a girl"

I'm not trying to be goady I just genuinely cannot think of why baby girls are so favoured over baby boys?

I find it odd that people find it surprising that women might prefer a daughter.

If you were told tomorrow ‘you will need to share your house with a stranger for the next 2 years, would you prefer a woman or a man?’ how many women would choose a man?

How many of your friends from school are the same sex as you are compared to the opposite sex?

Isnt it much more usual for women to prefer female company?

Just read some of the MIL threads on here, especially from women who are going to be or have just become mothers themselves. Often it's the man's family that is pushed away in favour of the woman's family. Considering how much I adore my son, the idea that a partner could have such a big influence over whether I get to be in his life is terrifying. Personally I rarely ever hear stories from the other side.

I wanted a girl because I have such a good relationship with my own mum and I wanted to replicate that.

I never understand this. A child is a child. They have their own personalities, their own style, their own quirks, their own essence, their own beautiful innocence.

I have both. I love both. I am grateful for both, they are all like chalk and cheese but that is nothing to do with their gender and everything to do with who they are as people.

I wanted a girl first time round and got my wish. I wanted another girl second time around but he was a boy, I knew It was my last baby so I was sad but not disappointed.

Once he was born I was blown away at how placid and lovely he was, same with my daughter, aren't they all just the best gift ever?

I have to say boys are just the best. I love my daughter but girls are hard work, and once puberty starts, man alive, move home!

My son is 11 now and has always been and still is the most tactile, sensitive little dude ever. He's my best friend and the most loving, kind gentle soul. My daughter is just as lovely but girls are always much more independent and even more so when they are teens.

Women want girls as they just ultimately want an extension of themselves. They want them to go to ballet, dance, gym and do all the things they never did, get all the accolades they never did. They want to dress them in pretty clothes like they did their dolls. Of course this doesn't apply to everyone but a fair few if we're being honest.

Me neither, boys are far easier!

When trying i had a slight preference for a girl but just wanted a baby and would have been very happy with either. I had a daughter and now I'm unsure on a second as I don't want a boy, might be from growing up with a pain in the arse brother, might be from seeing other boys in the family being very loud, boisterous and love getting dirty, might be because I'm used to a girl, but i won't try for another until i know I'd be happy with either.

Think maybe the number of threads on here about awful in laws might be a big part of the issue. Boys are fab but I think their is a perception that as they become adults mums Will be closer with daughters and therefore by default any grandchildren.

I REALLY, REALLY wanted a girl.

I got one, phew !!…and I felt nothing but relief when I found out at the scan. Relief that I wasn’t going to have to feel that longing for the rest of my life. Sometimes it’s just primal, perhaps instinctive? It was fuck all to do with the colour pink that’s for sure but I know in my heart i really wanted to mother a daughter.

She is 11 now and I am incredibly lucky and grateful.

I am also the mother to two wonderful sons who light up my life and whom I absolutely adore. I count myself very very lucky. It is an an absolute privilege to be able to raise both sons and a daughter.

I know so many men that have specifically wanted a son and they are never criticised

I’ve struggled with this - I was acutely aware with both of mine that I desperately wanted a girl. And I’ve never been able wholly to rationalise that; many posters on here make excellent points, all of which I fully take on board. (I have two girls, which is probably a very good thing!)

If I think about it now, I don’t think I’d have enjoyed the experience of parenting as much if I’d had boys - but then I know I’m comparing the experience with the actual girls I have with some hypothetical/probably stereotypical view of what I think boys would have been like, so it’s probably pretty meaningless anyway.

I’m not a girly girl (I don’t even bother drying and combing my hair most days) and I wanted a daughter, I can’t really explain why tbh.

I had a shit relationship with my mum but my sister who also really wanted a daughter is very close to her so who knows. We are a very woman dominated family though, maybe it felt more familiar to me, I can’t think of anyone very feminine in my family either so it’s not some sort of hyper feminine environment it’s more dark humour and hairy legs.

Tbf it was a preference but I wouldn’t have been devastated about having a boy or anything.

A lot of this rings true for me. I was a girl's girls and now I would say I am a woman's woman. I enjoy the company of women and find many men hold unconscious (and conscious) misogynistic views that they don't care to change or even interrogate. I have experience of going to a mixed school, a girls' school and a predominantly boys' school, and the girls' school just felt safer. I wish the world was different, maybe I thought I could protect a girl more, and that I'd understand her experience better rather than struggling to raise a boy to not be a part of that system (how do you even do that?). Previous posters have mentioned that having a girl means a lower chance of having a child who is err...unpleasant. But that's just social conditioning, boys will be boys, right? I wish the world wasn't that way but here we are.

Obviously I'm just one person but my friendship circle is very different. I have 4 friends with children and none have voiced a preference for boy or girl. I have a little boy and another little boy on the way and I'm over the moon just to be lucky enough to have children (male factor fertility issues). However, I hear it from other women in playgroups/ at the park etc about how they'd like a little girl and disappointed with their second boy and it just baffles me. I don't get why it matters so much.

I will give you my reason for wanting a girl and it may seem silly to you.

1. I grew up with two brothers, one older and one younger. They ate everything in sight including anything nice I was saving for later.They messed up my stuff, the were inconsiderate of others etc and there was some other stuff I don’t want to go into.
2. When I was 11 I had a long walk to my all girls school. I regularly had to cross paths with the boys going the opposite way. I was very small for my age, and was regularly teased, bullied and “goosed”. Walking to school became a major worry for me.
3. my teenage years were a catalogue of inappropriate sexual and verbal minor assaults by teenage boys.

I have NEVER been physically or sexually intimidated by a woman.

I really don’t have a high opinion of boys from about 7 to 25.

No idea. I don't even understand why so many women are obsessed with having children.

I think it's wonderful to live in a culture where girls are wanted and loved and valued. I longed for a daughter, not to be a mini me or pink princess nonsense but because it's just nice to have female company in the house. I love my boys dearly but they aren't great at chatting and we just don't have a huge amount in common. My daughter and I have a special bond and friendship. I'm really lucky to have her.

@Toomanysleepycats

i have a daughter sandwiched between two sons. There is no way I would allow them to treat my daughter in the way that you were treated. Sounds like a parent problem and not a son one.

@irishfeminist

I do agree. Lots of men have a preference for sons and worldwide sons are favoured. Women here get slaughtered though for admitting a preference. I am glad we live in a culture where girls are very much wanted too.

Probably for the same reason an equally large number of men want a son.

I don't know what that is btw. I suppose maybe it's because you feel you will have a special relationship with a child of the same sex as you. But that's just a guess and may be bollocks.

Someone here is stereotyping too.

Same reason as some men want boys. Some women want girls. Some don't care. Some have a preference (either way).

I wanted girls (and I got two so I'm glad although obviously if they had been boys I'd love them just the same). Definitely no pink stereotypes here. I am not what you would call a 'girly girl', and I don't have any desire to dress either DD in pink frills or flowery headbands.

It's hard to articulate why I felt that I wanted girls. Some of it probably to do with my own relationship with my mum, others to do with my poor relationship with my dad, feeling more like it was a 'known' quantity if that makes sense. It's hard to pick apart a desire sometimes or rationalise it.

I adore my girls and feel very lucky but I'm sure I'd feel the same if I'd had two boys!

Agree. Some terrible replies that judge and put women down so they can promote how amazing they were for not having such a preference. Massive stereotyping too.

Ha ha ha you are on MUMSNET!

I’ve got two girls and tbh I’d have been happy either way 🤷‍♀️ It baffles me too.