Children "dumped" no one will help. Police and SS useless.

[CadburyPurple]

A divorced mother of 4 children took them to the home of her ex sister in law and left them there saying she'll have them back on Monday.

The ex husband is homeless so has nowhere to have the children but his ex-wife says it's his weekend and his problem. But he isn't around, just his sister who has 3 children of her own, so no room for them.

Social services say the children have a home so they won't get involved, despite them being dumped on someone who can't care for them. The police say it's up to social services.

It's the neighbour of a good friend who is trying to support her but is at a loss. Surely SS have to take responsibility?

Jesus - poor kids

Where is the ex husband?

No one knows at the moment - he's been sofa surfing until he can get another place. His ex knows he has nowhere to take them.

What do you think would happen if the ex sister in law took them back to the mother's house and handed them back to her. Assuming she was there, which of course she might not be.

Are there any direct relatives that they could be taken to?

They can’t go into care just because it’s dads weekend to have them!! Why is he homeless? Has he been having the kids before this? Poor kids.

Why would social services take responsibility? Are the DC not safe with their aunt? I appreciate that she doesn't want them there, and has been massively dumped on, but presumably she can find floor space for them? The parents of these children really need to sort themselves out.

If I were the ex-sister in law I would be keeping the kids regardless. I'd be "out" when the mum comes back to collect, and texting to tell her they have been handed to social services.

Well, the SiL has 3 choices:

1. look after the children for the weekend
2. take them back to their mothers house and leave them there
3. take them to a police station and leave them there

number 3 is pretty nuclear. Number 1 is the best thing for the children

number 2 is somewhere in between

Awful awful situation for the poor children. I’d look after them, send them back Monday and then make sure I didn’t open the door next time it was my ‘brothers weekend’.
I wonder how exactly were the children ’dumped’ presumably they wouldn’t be left in the garden?!

No, they can go into care because the mother wilfully abandoned them!

The problem is they should be with the Mum. not just dumped with random relative!

My mum did this to me when I was little. Horrible.

Ex W knocked on the door and when SiL opened it pushed the kids in and said she'd see them on Monday then she drove off.

Father did have accommodation at his work but it's closed down very recently and he's trying to find a house share.

The issue here is the parents - not social services or the police.

What exactly do you expect them to do OP?

If the dad is homeless, what has been the arrangement when it has been his turn on previous weekends?

She hasn’t abandoned them, but she is being silly and probably trying to make some point - not fair on the kids at all though. SS are right they have a home. These poor kids must not be taken away by ss, it will be very traumatic for them.

There's no way that they'll be better off in the care system than they would be sleeping on their cousins' floor/bed sharing for two nights. The question is whether the mother is utterly self-centred or just acting in an out of character way due to desperation. If the former, then maybe social services intervention is the best option, possibly with a view to getting the father housed somewhere he can keep the kids (in the event that he's a suitable lone parent, which I grant you wouldn't be the way I'd bet on the data provided).

I can sort of understand the mother's frustration at the father not having the kids but to just leave them with a relative is awful, those poor children.

Maybe because when relationships break down, it's usually the woman who gets to keep the home and often the man cannot afford extortionate rent anywhere else so ends up moving in with family or sofa surfing. A single man who only has his kids every other weekend stands next to no chance of being a priority for any kind of social housing.

I would expect both the police and SS to be interested in abandoned children, why wouldn't you?
If you left your kids at school on Friday, wouldn't you expect them to be interested? If you left them on the door of a strangers house, would you expect them to be interested?
Ok, so they have been left at their aunts house, but she has said she cannot care for them. On what planet should the police and social services NOT care about child abandonment?

It's the neighbour of a good friend? So this is basically gossip? Are you actually expecting to get advice on this thread or did you just fancy a bit of bosom adjusting judgement of another mother (not the dad, oh no never the dad)? You can't possibly know the full story.

Totally agree with this. She has said she'd be back for them on monday. They have hardly been abandoned she just selfishly thinks that if the ex can't have them then his family should step up and help ! Of course it doesn't work like this but there is no reason they should be taken into care.

Sis in law says she can see this happening again if she doesn't put a stop to it. She's a struggling single mother as well and cannot afford to feed 4 extra mouths for 2 days.

Ex is refusing to pick up the phone or answer texts.

If I was the ex-SIL I'd be fuming with my brother and would be tracking him down.

If it's just for the weekend then I wouldn't expect the police or SS to intervene, if it goes on for longer then yes . SS do everything they can to stop children being put into foster care, they always ask if family can have them first.