Children "dumped" no one will help. Police and SS useless.

[CadburyPurple]

A divorced mother of 4 children took them to the home of her ex sister in law and left them there saying she'll have them back on Monday.

The ex husband is homeless so has nowhere to have the children but his ex-wife says it's his weekend and his problem. But he isn't around, just his sister who has 3 children of her own, so no room for them.

Social services say the children have a home so they won't get involved, despite them being dumped on someone who can't care for them. The police say it's up to social services.

It's the neighbour of a good friend who is trying to support her but is at a loss. Surely SS have to take responsibility?

Was the Dad contactable before she dropped them at his sisters?

how old are the children? How old are the Sil's children.

I can't imagine calling the police/SS because my nieces/nephews had been dropped to mine for the weekend! But to be fair, I've never been in the position of not being able to feed kids for a weekend either.

could he not have looked after them in their home & the mum stayed at a friends for the weekend?

I would take them to the local police station. This is awful and clearly there needs to be some kind of state intervention to stop it happening again.

Their dad should come over and feed his children and spend time with them. Is he not answering the phone when his sister calls?

I wonder how many times the Dad has said to his Ex 'i can't look after them'? I don't know why he thinks that absolves him of having contact during the day. His sister should be trying to get him to step up to do something. I can understand why she is peed off about being involved with it, but the focus of anger appears to be at the wrong parent.

Poor DC. This really is on their father. He is the designated parent this weekend. Their Mother must be at her wits end to do this- no doubt getting no support of any kind from him.
If SIL is destitute I feel for her also.
These men don't deserve their DC.

This. Many people simply don't appreciate the horrific situation men can be left in after a relationship breakdown. They often lose their home and their kids.

Did their father even try to sort something out so he could see his kids this weekend? Or did he just shrug and say there's nothing he can do about it.

How long has he been ‘homeless’? Time for him to step up. Why isn’t he answering his phone?

No, it’s not right what the mother has done but if this has been going on a while she’s probably had enough. My abusive ex enjoyed staying at his dad’s very much and behaving like a man-child/ getting his every whim catered for and looking after his kids in a playgym once a week… and telling everyone how hard he’d got it. It took 9 months for him to sort out a place despite working on a very good wage and paying no board.

Their Auntie is trying to put them in care for the weekend?!

She needs to take them to a police station and give them both parents numbers and addresses

the mother can not do this

So it's his weekend to see his kids and because he's sofa surfing, he thinks that means he doesn't have any responsibility for them?

What a lowlife. If I were his sister, I'd be tearing him a new arsehole

She can't afford to feed them and both parents are ignoring her.

What else is she supposed to do?

They should check in on the mum, dad and SIL and see if the kids need counselling.
I know SS are woefully underfunded - so this may be at the back of the queue compared to kids in known abusive homes, but this should be in their remit.

Social services aren’t going to be too interested in getting caught up in what is effectively a custody battle - the children were placed with a relative, who can track down their father if she’s unhappy. There may be a role for early help is mum isn’t coping with 4 kids, but it’s not like she abandoned them in a city centre and left them to fend for themselves. They’re with a close relative of their dad.

Yes he did make a bad life choice. He will have known the business was going to close so he could have sorted accommodation. But no.

This would be so traumatic for the children though.

At the very least he needs to send his sister enough money to feed and house his children for the weekend.

Are the dads parents still around? Can they help?

Fucking shit parenting on both sides

Piss poor parenting by both and the poor kids are the ones to bear the brunt; nobody wants them.
Parents need to use the family home so that the kids stay there all the time with whichever parent has responsibility for them that day/night.
The off duty parent then makes arrangements for themselves ie with a relative or friend.

I know it's far from ideal but it may be best to keep them over the weekend.
Just focus on the weekend and the children's wellbeing for now.
When the mother returns on Monday, then you can think about what to do next.
I'd just concentrate on making the next 2 nights and one day as comfortable as possible for the children. Take it one step at a time.

the mother can not do this

But the dad can?

As far as I know he's been homeless for a very short time - since his place of work closed very recently. He's been looking for work and a place to live. The ex knows his situation and chose to involve the poor SiL.

There is no room in her flat for 4 more children.

Both parents are at fault. Poor kids and poor SiL.

It is quite possible that the mother is at breaking point so has left them with someone responsible.

It sounds like she has no support from her ex including financial.

Bloody hell he’s homeless ffs.
No one picks to be homeless.

The mum shouldn’t be dumping her kids on random people. Vile human.

Id be calling social services on her and dropping them straight back round to her.

Devils advocate - perhaps the mum has to work this weekend to keep her head above water. Presumably she is expecting the ex to step up - we've no idea of the back story here ?

Poor kids, hope they aren't hearing any of this and think they are just having a sleepover at aunties

Equally, homeless or not, he's still responsible for his children. He doesn't get to just opt out.