Children "dumped" no one will help. Police and SS useless.

[CadburyPurple]

A divorced mother of 4 children took them to the home of her ex sister in law and left them there saying she'll have them back on Monday.

The ex husband is homeless so has nowhere to have the children but his ex-wife says it's his weekend and his problem. But he isn't around, just his sister who has 3 children of her own, so no room for them.

Social services say the children have a home so they won't get involved, despite them being dumped on someone who can't care for them. The police say it's up to social services.

It's the neighbour of a good friend who is trying to support her but is at a loss. Surely SS have to take responsibility?

She's trying to track down her brother but he has nowhere to have them so what can he do? Should they all sleep in his car? His ex knows this, he told her he couldn't have them until he'd found somewhere to live.

Then he can have them at his families home which is obviously what the mum thinks. He can't just ignore the fact he has children because he's made poor life choices.

Shame on both mum and dad here. Please report this to the school as these kids are clearly being neglected.

Poor kids.

Tell her to text saying she's contacted social services who are coming round with the police to collect the children as they have been abandoned.

See if that flushes her out.

He could at least buy food for all the children and take them out all day.Poor children.

So, as the dad has nowhere to have them overnight, he is going to leave his sister to look after them and feed them all weekend? Sounds like a great guy!

He can go to his sisters and look after his kids.

So are we saying the father in this case has been shirking his responsibilities?

Why isn't he having the children on his weekends at a travelodge or something?

Why isn't he collecting his children from his sister?

Why isn't he paying for their food while at his sisters?

Why is everyone giving him a pass and expecting his ex wife/sister/social services or the police to shoulder his responsibilities?

What can he do? She can't get in touch with him but he had told the ex he couldn't have them. She chose to dump them on his sister. It's not his fault his place of work closed down and he lost his rooms, that's not a poor life choice.

The ex husband is homeless so has nowhere to have the children but his ex-wife says it's his weekend and his problem

It IS his weekend, and it IS his problem. He needs to step the fuck up. He COULD have looked after them during the day, and asked his sister himself to put them up overnight- and given some money for their food etc.

Absolutely disgraceful behaviour by bith parents.

I would absolutely say they have been abandoned and going forward, need to be safeguarded.

Well their father should be providing food shouldn't he. It's awful for the kids I agree. But really the father needs to be the one sorting things out here. Not avoiding everyone including his children.

Your title should read parents useless, not police and SS!!

Why see if it flushes HER out? Why not see if it flushes HIM out? This is the fathers incompetence. And two women picking up the pieces.

Not having a place for them to stay overnight would not be enough to stop me from trying to see my children. As PP have said, he could at least take them out for the day (or even a few hours) even if they can't stay with him. And he could try to negotiate with other family members if they could all stay there for a night or two. At the moment the father has just given up all responsibility for them.

This is what any normal parent would do.

The problem is the dad hasnt made adequate provision for his children.

It's his weekend.
What did he put into place to make sure he could fulfil his obligations.
I cant see why everyone I piling on the mum.

If I was SIL I'd ensure they had a lovely evening and felt cared for and wanted. I'd not contact the mother and be out when she comes to collect. When she's shat herself for long enough Id give them back and then not answer the door without checking again

The dad can come to his sisters house and buy food/extra utilities

How old are the children? That’s child abandonment do they even know they’re aunt well? My only suggestion is to to them to the local police station.

What can he do? Parent! The mother has done the wrong thing but that doesn't mean their father has been doing things right. He should at the very least be seeing them during the day on the weekends, they're his responsibility. It looks suspiciously like he has deliberately gone AWOL.

I think health visitor, school and social services should be involved.
I don’t think the only reason for social services is to take kids into care.
They should check in on the mum, dad and SIL and see if the kids need counselling.
I know SS are woefully underfunded - so this may be at the back of the queue compared to kids in known abusive homes, but this should be in their remit.

What can he do?

He could communicate effectively with his ex-wife and reach an agreement about what happens on his weekends given his housing situation - not just say “I can’t have them” and leave her to sort it out.

He could be in communication with his sister, go to her house and care for his kids.

He could arrange an overnight in a travelodge for the night to accommodate them all.

He could take them out somewhere during daytime hours and negotiate sleeping arrangements with his family.

While the ex-wife’s behaviour is questionable in the extreme, I can understand her frustration - she can’t decide she can’t see them the rest of the time, she doesn’t get to opt out of caring for his 4 kids, so why should he.

The sister in law needs to track down her brother and find out what his plans are for caring for his kids. Social work won’t be remotely interested in getting involved, certainly not over the weekend when their resources are stretched thinly and the children are safe with a relative.

Exactly.

Who has he asked for help.

Has he asked his mum or other siblings if he can use their house for his weekends?

What arrangements did he make.

How was his communication with his ex-wife.

Has he tired to do all he can to ensure he sees his kids. Or has he just shrugged his shoulders and slumped off somewhere.

He could answer the phone?

Then, he could come and care for his children at his sisters' house and provide them with meals at the very least.