Is this the new thing re parties and weddings.

[Cookiemonstersnana]

Last week we received a wedding invitation for the end of January.
On the invite it's asking us to pay for our food. £100 each. It's worded
as though they are doing us a favour as it's only £200. Plus asking us for
money for their honeymoon.

Then in the post this morning is an invite to a significant birthday for one of DHs
friends and this says there won't be a buffet but there will be a van outside where
we can BUY a pizza.
Both of these events is where we purchase our own drinks.

The wedding, no it is not normal to pay for food-also £200 for two meals on top of asking for money and paying for travel etc is really rude. Paid bar is fine-stops everyone getting too pissed.
The birthday party is fine, I would not expect food to be laid on for free.

Yeah fuck that shit.

If someone wants my company they can wine and dine me. Otherwise I'll just stay home.

If they can’t afford the wedding they want then they should have one that they can afford.

Birthday not a problem, I'd expect to buy my own meal at a birthday dinner out so no difference really.

The Wedding is utter CFery.

The wedding is really cheeky. The birthday party doesn't need to state no buffet because you're not obligated to provide one.
I'd decline the wedding and go to the birthday.

That's ridiculous! If you want to get married it should be at your expense, not the guests. If you can't afford it, don't get married until you can. Cheeky gits. Same applies for the birthday!

I feel like that couple will get a big land back down to reality when their RSVPs start to come back.......

The birthday wouldn't be bother me as much, having the option to get yourself Pizza is fine, you don't have to though, you could just eat before you go

Really ??

Well, it's 'no' from me.

Agree with everyone else.
I have never come across that with a wedding and would not be impressed if I did.

Birthday I'm less worried about. I think it is a bit odd, but you have the option to eat your evening meal at normal time then not actually need to eat at the party, so no-one is 'forcing you' to be paying OTT prices for a meal you haven't even chosen there.

Sounds like a whole new level of entitlement. £100 each can’t be the cost of the food - it’s the per person cost of the venue thrown in.
If you can’t afford to feed your guests, restrict numbers to what you can afford.

To ask for honeymoon cash as well is really taking the piss.
Should add that I don’t mind at all giving money - far easier to slip cash in a card than buy a present - but it should be politely suggested, not demanded - and definitely not in some cringe-making poem!

,

It's just ridiculous that the bride and groom are expected to pay for everything. We're in a day and age now where often financial help from the family is not available.

Is it? Why?

It's the guests according them the honour by attenting their wedding; they are not the ones who are honoured by receiving an invitation. Many people attend weddings out of a sense of obligation.

You expect them then to be thrilled at the idea of actually being charged to come (then I bet you a £ to a p they'll be asked to contribute money as a gift as well). Weddings are not a pay per view, or are they a scheme for making a fast buck at guests' expense.

If many couples opt for this scenario they'll find they have many empty seats.

I wonder if they are just changing some wedding guests hence high price. I can’t imagine even the cheekiest billing their Dad or Granny to attend.

I wouldn't be too sure ...

The last few weddings I've been unfortunate enough to encounter seemed to have a nasty habit of bringing out the mercenary in people!

So basically, they want a big posh wedding with loads of guests and lovely food, but cannot afford it. They also want a really nice honeymoon but cannot afford that either. So they have the bright idea to have their "guests" pay for both. This is taking entitlement too far.

I wonder if it ever occurred to them to have a more modest wedding they can afford and a honeymoon in this country. Or wait a bit longer and save up some more money for the lavish affair they want.

That’s actually hilarious. They clearly cannot afford the wedding they want or think they need.

If they want the insta-worthy wedding and honeymoon they can fucking well pay for it.

When I got married I was a teacher earning 28k. My husband was self employed, earning about 400pw.

I wanted a nice wedding, and yes it was expensive, but I saved up and provided food and drinks.

It depends on the closeness of the friend, but I wouldn't mind so much buying a pizza, but 200 pounds for a wedding meal is weirdly odd. We had a 7 course meal in 2017 and it was nowhere near that much.
(Yes, 7 courses. Little ones.) 😂

Wow.

I would've been mortified to ask my wedding guests to buy their own food!

We had a buffet, in fact we asked our guests what their favourite thing on a buffet was and we attempted to get the ones voted for most.
Our buffet cost us £250 for 85 people. It went down a treat and we had plenty all afternoon and into the evening. We did have a paid bar though but in a cheap venue so no one minded.

£200ph! Even at £100ph that’s the cost for the whole wedding.. what a pair of cfs. Just don’t bother with a wedding and have a small respectable do after registry office if you can’t afford to or don’t want to host your guests yourself

hiw did they word the invite and have the balls to ask for money towards the honeymoon too! I hope
most people declined, I would hate for this kind of grabby behaviour to become the norm

On the invite it's asking us to pay for our food. £100 each. It's worded
as though they are doing us a favour as it's only £200. Plus asking us for
money for their honeymoon.

These are vulgar grasping people who can't afford the celebration they aspire to.

If you can't afford to host people, cut your coat according to your cloth.

Do you like them enough to attend? You don't have to give them anything I should have thought, particularly after such a graceless invitation.

Went to a lovely wedding recently where the wedding breakfast was all provided, 40 guests, champagne afternoon tea with 1/2 bottle each plus another glass for the toast. Then on to there house for evening party, 100+ people, big cold buffet with savoury and sweet, loads of wine, soft drinks, tea and coffee. We were told 'no presents, just your presence, but feel free to bring a bottle of bubbly for the evening party' and thats what we all did. In fact, most did like us and brought two bottles, 1st for the buffet, telling B&G to put 2nd one away for later - B&G said theyre now stocked with bubbly for the rest of the year!

Certainly no money was asked for and as a long time living together partners they had everything for the house so thats why the 'no presents'. Was one of the niced most relaxed weddings Ive been to, just a fun day.

Birthday - no probs paying for own food selection from the van, would bring a bottle and hope to see host providing wine and soft drinks too.

The wedding pair delight me with their brazen greed. I hope it blows up in their face. I’d love to have a peek at their wedding spreadsheet and see how many guests declined. Maybe set up a whatsapp group message 'anyone, er, received an invitation from James and Sophie...?'

Re. the birthday party. Lots of you seem to think it's fine. Well I’m no Elton John in terms of extravagant party throwing but I think it’s pretty shabby to invite someone to your landmark birthday and not even provide them with so much as a crisp or a drink. I wouldn't expect an open bar all night, but surely they can afford to pay for their guests' pizzas? Wanting the presents and the attention but doing zilch for your guests. Tut tut.

The only time I’ve been asked to pay at a wedding was a very unique and acceptable (imo) reason for doing so (terminal illness so having a big wedding/party and we all knew it would be one of the last times we saw them “well”). Otherwise not acceptable - and £100 is ridiculous.

Birthdsy party wouldn’t bother me. Just a party with no buffet imo.

Maybe dad gets a discount if he’s working by walking her down the aisle!
Would love Granny to decline paying and get her Tupperware and flask out.

Party is fine. Go if you think you’ll have fun. Wedding is ridiculous! They get a free wedding AND a honeymoon? Surely nobody will go? I get not being able to afford a big thing but then don’t have a big thing!