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Original poster

Expected to give colleague a lift every day, not even asked first!

402 replies

Workinghardeveryday · 07/10/2022 08:50

Hopefully you may have some advice on a tricky situation my dp has.

He currently has about a 20 minute commute to work.

His boss rang him the other day to let him know there was a new person starting work, as he lives close to us, dp should pick him up and drop him off every day going forward.

It is fair enough at the moment as dp’s car is in the garage, so work have been really kind and let him use the works van.

Dp doesn’t want to look like a dick and say he refuses to do the pick up/drop off, but he is really pissed off about it.

He doesn’t mind doing while he has the van, that is absolutely fair enough, but when he gets his car back he doesn’t want to get it messed up with dirty work clothes and boots in it (he always brushes himself down and changed boots before getting in).

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

This new person is nice enough, doesn’t drive. We live rurally so no buses.

He feels really miffed this person has been given a job, only way of getting to work is my dp, yet he wasn’t even asked first!

Any ideas how to handle the situation? We really don’t know how to handle it without upsetting the boss.

OP posts:
CaronPoivre · 07/10/2022 08:51

Buy some seat covers, charge to expenses and be a bit kinder. Why would you not give a lift?

toomuchfaster · 07/10/2022 08:55

CaronPoivre · 07/10/2022 08:51

Buy some seat covers, charge to expenses and be a bit kinder. Why would you not give a lift?

I would definitely ask about expenses but it's really not up to DH to do this. His manager can't make him unless it's in his working hours. Can the guy get to yours for a week as help while he settles in?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 07/10/2022 08:55

That's really cheeky. What happens if your DH can't get in one day? Ie sickness etc. I'd ask your DH to explain to the boss that he can't be responsible for giving him lifts everyday and that the new starter will need to figure out his own way in. I bet there's no mention of petrol money either.
Your DH is not responsible for this new starter getting into work. I wouldn't mind doing it occasionally but not everyday.

meateatingveggie · 07/10/2022 08:56

It's very likely this other person will offer to share fuel costs and willingly change his shoes if asked.

I do get it a a bit annoying being told to do it, rather than asked, but it could work out well surely.

Toddlerteaplease · 07/10/2022 08:56

Would it really kill him to be kind? Just ask the new person to change boots and clothes. Or put a cover on the car.

MajorCarolDanvers · 07/10/2022 08:57

Whilst is not something the employer can require your DP to do - I'd offer the lift but ask for 50% contribution to petrol money.

It's the decent thing to do and doing a bit fir the envoy car sharing.

Hotandbothereds · 07/10/2022 08:57

No buses whatsoever? How does anyone without cars get anywhere?

I know rural transport isn’t great but how would this person have got to work had your DP not lived close?

I’d not want to be tied to giving a lift every single day, what if he wants to nip somewhere on his way home?

Can this person use the work van?

NightmareSlashDelightful · 07/10/2022 08:59

Women! Solve men's problems!

I mean, I'm joking. Kind of. But surely this isn't your problem to solve?

ClaryFairchild · 07/10/2022 09:00

No, no, no, no, no!!

When your DP gets his car back then the boss can give him the work van. Don't get sucked into giving him lifts there and back. That way madness lies. What will happen in holidays? What will happen if your DP wants to go somewhere else after work? What if he needs to leave absolutely in time and the work colleague dawdles, both to or from work.

AccountDeactivated · 07/10/2022 09:01

Sounds like a problem for the non driver to figure out. 'i can't do that. Tomorrow will be the last day I can provide transport for him, cheers.'
It's nothing to do with your husband and even less so to do with you.

womaninatightspot · 07/10/2022 09:01

I'd say I'm happy to do it but ask to keep the works van on an ongoing basis. If you don't use it for personal use you don't pay tax on it. This could save you money in fuel and general wear and tear on his car going forward if he's only using it at weekends.

If you're rural parking shouldn't be an issue but you could leave work van with new person. Drive over in his car then take work van from there?

WhatNoRaisins · 07/10/2022 09:01

Is your boss planning to keep him using the work can? Does it just work better logistically?

LittleOwl153 · 07/10/2022 09:02

Dh needs to decide whether he is prepared to go with it maybe using the timenwith the van as a trial?

Once he gets his car back he asks if the lifts come with use of the van permanently, who is paying petrol, etc and if he is then prepared to continue make it clear that the new kid needs to be clean and that there will be times he cannot offer - eg as he's not going straight home. I'd make this at least once a week...

AccountDeactivated · 07/10/2022 09:02

*boyfriend not husband

Shinyandnew1 · 07/10/2022 09:03

When your DP gets his car back then the boss can give him the work van

I don’t understand this. Give who the work van?

HeavensEmbroideredCloths · 07/10/2022 09:03

How many miles is it ? I grew up quite rurally and was walking three miles to school aged 9.

The boss should not have made such an offer without discussion, I would see it an an opportunity to get half my petrol costs paid.

Daleksatemyshed · 07/10/2022 09:04

As a non driver I can't understand why anyone would apply for a job they can't get too. When I looked at jobs decent public transport there was always a priority

Megifer · 07/10/2022 09:05

"Ah sorry, i often need to go xyz straight after work so hed have to sort his own transport out anyway"

Or what I said in this very situation "well this will make me sound odd but its pretty much the only time I get to myself and listen to my audio books, sorry but hope he sorts something out!"

Pixiedust1234 · 07/10/2022 09:06

Will work give DP extra time back since he is using his own time each day to pick them up? Those extra 15 minutes each trip add up to a hour a day your dp is effectively working that he wouldn't normally do. Never mind petrol, wear and tear etc

Megifer · 07/10/2022 09:06

womaninatightspot · 07/10/2022 09:01

I'd say I'm happy to do it but ask to keep the works van on an ongoing basis. If you don't use it for personal use you don't pay tax on it. This could save you money in fuel and general wear and tear on his car going forward if he's only using it at weekends.

If you're rural parking shouldn't be an issue but you could leave work van with new person. Drive over in his car then take work van from there?

Oooh this is a good shout too!

Pootles34 · 07/10/2022 09:07

I wouldn't be happy either. Ask for a chat with the manager, to see what happens when DP can't take him?

If your DP then choses to help the business out, mileage is 45p per mile, the guy changes his boots, and the music stays on loud.

Pixiedust1234 · 07/10/2022 09:10

Pressed to soon. But personally I would refuse as you are tied in to what work wants you to do. Its added stress if you need to call in sick, or have to leave early for a medical appointment or want to do shopping on the way home. Tell the boss it doesn't work for dp and he needs to find a different solution. It sucks though, dp should never have been put in that position Sad

Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 07/10/2022 09:16

Thank you all, all good ideas.

He works in construction so having a word about petrol costs wouldn’t go down well, he would look grabby as he is going that way anyway. They may let him use the van going forward, but not sure where he would park it as drive would already be full.

He really needs his commute time to himself, it’s his only me time, he’s quite an introvert.

I posted on here as we both wanted a much broader opinion of what we could do about it, I am helping as I am fed up with the sulking about it 😕.

It has made him late home already. He was working in the opposite direction to work this week which is close to home, he could have been home earlier than normal, but he had to drive past home, go back to the yard, newby was late getting back, so added a good chunk of time to the end of his day!

OP posts:
Novum · 07/10/2022 09:17

Talk to the new colleague about the fact that this can't be a permanent arrangement and ask what plans he had for transport before boss offered this solution; point out that there would anyway be days when he can't do it for good reason and again ask colleague what plans he has for those days. Then say that as from, say, November, he will have to stop giving lifts.

Novum · 07/10/2022 09:19

Posted before I saw your update, OP. If your DH regularly works off site then surely it's absolutely reasonable to say that on those days a lift will not be happening.