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Original poster

Expected to give colleague a lift every day, not even asked first!

402 replies

Workinghardeveryday · 07/10/2022 08:50

Hopefully you may have some advice on a tricky situation my dp has.

He currently has about a 20 minute commute to work.

His boss rang him the other day to let him know there was a new person starting work, as he lives close to us, dp should pick him up and drop him off every day going forward.

It is fair enough at the moment as dp’s car is in the garage, so work have been really kind and let him use the works van.

Dp doesn’t want to look like a dick and say he refuses to do the pick up/drop off, but he is really pissed off about it.

He doesn’t mind doing while he has the van, that is absolutely fair enough, but when he gets his car back he doesn’t want to get it messed up with dirty work clothes and boots in it (he always brushes himself down and changed boots before getting in).

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

This new person is nice enough, doesn’t drive. We live rurally so no buses.

He feels really miffed this person has been given a job, only way of getting to work is my dp, yet he wasn’t even asked first!

Any ideas how to handle the situation? We really don’t know how to handle it without upsetting the boss.

OP posts:
deeperthanallroses · 07/10/2022 09:19

I would go along with it but drop a hint that the new guy might be better off getting the work van. Establish his clean clothes rules, and take a sick day or a leave day fairly soon to highlight that your dh is not a reliable plan. In fact a sick day is better as then they can’t plan for him to have the work van that one day.

deeperthanallroses · 07/10/2022 09:21

Oh gosh I would say I can’t give a lift days I’m offsite that would be obvious surely?! Book in a dinner date so he doesn’t have time to head in the opposite direction.

RainbowsMoonbeams · 07/10/2022 09:22

Very cheeky to assume your DH will take on the role as designated taxi service for the new guy!

How was this guy planning on getting to work had his boss not volunteered your DH?

PAFMO · 07/10/2022 09:23

Presumably the boss told your husband to do it as your husband is using work's vehicle at the moment. This is pretty standard for construction, my stepdad had work's van and picked up another 3 people.
Has he clarified at all what will happen once he's no longer using work's car?

Samcro · 07/10/2022 09:24

Toddlerteaplease · 07/10/2022 08:56

Would it really kill him to be kind? Just ask the new person to change boots and clothes. Or put a cover on the car.

would it kill the other person to be kind and sort out their own transport.

unitywardrobe · 07/10/2022 09:24

If you come to an arrangement about costs with the new person, then it'll save you money. I feel like this is a win.

diddl · 07/10/2022 09:26

I also would have thought that it's only while he has the works van.

Surely boss can't tell him what to do with his own car?

KosherDill · 07/10/2022 09:26

When your vehicle is returned, can the new employee use the works van?

Upsidedownagain · 07/10/2022 09:27

I'd be very annoyed, especially having not been asked first. The boss has no right to dictate who travels in your DP's own car and driving out of his way to pick up or drop off is unacceptable. As for not offering petrol money - does this person think free travel is a perk of the job? Why did they apply for the job if they can't get transport to it?

It's not your DP's responsibility nor that of the boss. The employee should be sorting this out for themselves. Otherwise the boss should be doing it him/herself.

meditatenext · 07/10/2022 09:29

Very cheeky way to go about it…

however I would offer to do it on a months trial basis when he can agree petrol money. Plus - he brings spare shoes.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 07/10/2022 09:29

womaninatightspot · 07/10/2022 09:01

I'd say I'm happy to do it but ask to keep the works van on an ongoing basis. If you don't use it for personal use you don't pay tax on it. This could save you money in fuel and general wear and tear on his car going forward if he's only using it at weekends.

If you're rural parking shouldn't be an issue but you could leave work van with new person. Drive over in his car then take work van from there?

Using the works van for 'home to workplace' journeys and back will definitely have a bik tax implication. Only if they are driving to their non usual workplace will it not.

JayPritchet · 07/10/2022 09:30

Lots of people use their drive to work as their 'me time' where you relax and unwind a lot, I get what people are saying about be kind but this is quite often how cheeky fuckery starts. I'm not a driver and I think it's cheeky.

Upsidedownagain · 07/10/2022 09:30

If he does agree to keep giving lifts, asking for petrol money is absolutely fair - payment for the inconvenience/ perk of having to do something he doesn't want to.

On the other hand, it makes it more official, which would make refusal look more unreasonable.

WhenDovesFly · 07/10/2022 09:30

It has made him late home already. He was working in the opposite direction to work this week which is close to home, he could have been home earlier than normal, but he had to drive past home, go back to the yard, newby was late getting back, so added a good chunk of time to the end of his day!

This is your DH's way in to discussing with his boss why this is not a workable solution. He can add:

  1. He needs his commute time alone to de-stress and listen to music.
  2. Colleague working on a different job/site means not practical and may make your DH late.
  3. At least once or twice a week (doesn't matter if not true) he needs to go somewhere else on way home (gym/shop/visit relative).

I also dislike the fact that asking for mileage would make him grabby. He's not a free taxi service, and why should the other guy get a free commute out of it?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 07/10/2022 09:31

He was working in the opposite direction to work this week which is close to home, he could have been home earlier than normal, but he had to drive past home, go back to the yard, newby was late getting back, so added a good chunk of time to the end of his day!

DH needs to say when he's working offsite it isn't possible for him to give lifts. New guy needs to get off his ass and find his own way in.

NoSquirrels · 07/10/2022 09:32

If the newbie isn’t actually on the same jobs as him - which it sounds like because he had to go back to the yard to pick up? - then I think it’s fair enough to say it won’t work as a long-term deal.

I’d be saying to the boss, yes I can do it temporarily but what’s the lad’s long-term plan? Is he learning to drive?

NyanBinaryJohn · 07/10/2022 09:36

It's depressing how many people still crow "be kind" when the boss didn't even have the decency to "be kind" by telling OP's DH this was happening.

I once arranged to meet up with a friend after I hadn't seen her for a while. The morning of the meet we had a text conversation:

"M is joining us today."
"Who is M?"
"She's XX's new partner, you'll like her, she's really nice."
"I'm sure she is, but I don't want to meet up with some random stranger when the plan was for us to have a long overdue catch up."
"Ok, I'll let her know."

No love was lost. Friend and I met as normal. I met M later and she was nice, and I was straight with her why I pushed back on her joining us and made it clear it was nothing personal.

"That doesn't work for me", ad infinitum.

Anyone who has an issue with that sort of pushback is by definition not kind.

PAFMO · 07/10/2022 09:41

Upsidedownagain · 07/10/2022 09:27

I'd be very annoyed, especially having not been asked first. The boss has no right to dictate who travels in your DP's own car and driving out of his way to pick up or drop off is unacceptable. As for not offering petrol money - does this person think free travel is a perk of the job? Why did they apply for the job if they can't get transport to it?

It's not your DP's responsibility nor that of the boss. The employee should be sorting this out for themselves. Otherwise the boss should be doing it him/herself.

The boss has every right while the guy is using the company vehicle.

His own car, obviously not.

But seemingly nobody has clarified that with the boss.

WhatNoRaisins · 07/10/2022 09:44

No this sounds a massive piss take

Goldbar · 07/10/2022 09:45

Is there a gym nearby that your DP could go to or could he do your weekly food shop on the way home or meet you for dinner? If your DP isn't brave enough to confront this directly, delaying the other guy getting home by a couple of hours a night or being unavailable for lifts should sort the problem fairly quickly.

bishbashboosh1 · 07/10/2022 09:50

Sorry I would hate this. Obviously it’s nice to be nice but I’m the same - blasting a bit of music on my commute is my only me time and I really enjoy it. Just get him to say no, sorry, I’m not a taxi. Can’t think of a great excuse tbh thpugh

Sally090807 · 07/10/2022 09:55

How will this person get to work when you are on holiday for a couple of weeks?

Shamoo · 07/10/2022 09:55

if it was me, I would play stupid and assume it was only for the period of having the van. When the car is close to ready, say to the other guy “just to let you know I’m getting my car back next week, what’s your plans for transport when that happens? Are you going to use this van?” And go from there. If he says “but I thought you would carry on” he says “gosh no, sorry the plan was only ever while I had the van, I have other commitments when I have the car that would make it impossible” and just repeat that over and over again.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/10/2022 09:55

Your DP needs to grow a backbone and sort this out himself.

Either work lets him use the van if they want him to continue giving this bloke a lift, they ask the bloke to have driving lessons, or they contribute to fuel and time costs if you DH is still going to pick him up and drop him off in his own car.

Why oh earth did they give him a job knowing he couldn't get there? They could be in a different location every day.

cutthelawn · 07/10/2022 09:58

be a bit kinder. Why would you not give a lift

because it's a big commitment that's not fair. I sometimes used to go to x,y and z after work before home. With somebody on with me it would hinder me and change the dynamics.