Expected to give colleague a lift every day, not even asked first!

[Workinghardeveryday]

Hopefully you may have some advice on a tricky situation my dp has.

He currently has about a 20 minute commute to work.

His boss rang him the other day to let him know there was a new person starting work, as he lives close to us, dp should pick him up and drop him off every day going forward.

It is fair enough at the moment as dp’s car is in the garage, so work have been really kind and let him use the works van.

Dp doesn’t want to look like a dick and say he refuses to do the pick up/drop off, but he is really pissed off about it.

He doesn’t mind doing while he has the van, that is absolutely fair enough, but when he gets his car back he doesn’t want to get it messed up with dirty work clothes and boots in it (he always brushes himself down and changed boots before getting in).

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

This new person is nice enough, doesn’t drive. We live rurally so no buses.

He feels really miffed this person has been given a job, only way of getting to work is my dp, yet he wasn’t even asked first!

Any ideas how to handle the situation? We really don’t know how to handle it without upsetting the boss.

No, no, no - I'm all for 'being kind' but I also value my commute time BY MYSELF - I have a busy life, I rarely get time alone - my commute time is golden.

I like the flexibility to stop-off and grab a coffee, or de-tour via a shop. And what happens if your DH is off work ill, does his colleague also miss a day?

If I were driving the company van, then sure - the company van is meant for company business, but in the long term, in my personal car, when I may have plans of my own. I wouldn't commit to that.

Only problem then is we need an excuse ready when boss says something… It is so awful because I honestly don’t think the boss would think dp would mind as he is going past. It’s a really awkward situation, no one is in the wrong really.

Your DH doesn’t need an excuse. He just needs an honest conversation with his boss!

Boss, I’m happy to give New Lad a lift whilst I’ve got the work van, but what’s the long term plan for him getting to work - I’m just checking what you’ve told him before I speak to him myself. When I get my car back I can’t commit to being his lift in and back every day, it just doesn’t work for me. Did you discuss transport with him when you offered the job?

Then wait and see what he says.
If what the boss says is ‘I just thought you’d be OK to do it’ then your DH has to say ‘It’s just not convenient as a long term thing, I’fe never wanted to car share and I honestly hate driving other people every day. It’s nothing against this lad in particular, I’d say the same about anyone.’

He has to be honest! Because there are no reasonable ‘excuses’ and people will try to find solutions to any excuse. Saying he really doesn’t like the arrangement and won’t do it long term is the only thing that will work.

I would say absolutely not - if it’s his own personal time why on Earth should he be expected to act as a free chauffeur for someone else? And without being asked first! When he’s handed the van back and is driving his own vehicle this becomes even more of a cheeky request. I participated in a car share once and it ended up being a nightmare - never again for me - however I understand it works well for some people. But it sounds like it won’t work well for your partner so I agree he should just say no. Also - costs etc should be met by the employer if they are asking him to use his personal vehicle for a purpose decided by then. The fact that the other colleague can’t drive but has taken a job with no means of getting there is odd, and even more bizarre when they’ve decided your partner should ferry them about. I think he should just say it won’t work well for him due to other commitments outside of work, but happy to provide the odd lift. It’s really not your partner’s responsibility. I think your partner’s boss should chauffeur the new person about himself if he thinks it’s that essential!

This isn’t a ‘car share’, it would just be your husband doing someone else a massive
favour, probably saving them a fortune, under duress! I would refuse!

I’d get myself a moped rather than do this-I value my own time and space when commuting. If you like car sharing, brilliant, but nobody should be told they have to.

If he has to drive around an estate, then it isn't on his way home really, is it? At the very least, the newbie should be walking to somewhere convenient for your DP to pick him up.

But this is a HUGE cheek of his boss. I think your DP needs to come up with an 'excuse' e.g. dropping you off etc.

If boss asked to do this. Would this mean considered overtime.

Anytime outside of regular work hours is your free time
if boss dictates what you do in that spare time then it isn’t your time it is companies so payment from company I would be asking for.

100% this.

It's honesty and honestly going to be the only way that your DH manages to get out of something he never got himself in to

Your husband needs to start bullshiting a bit, next week he should say ‘ahh mate, next week lifts are gonna be tricky as I need to go to some appointments straight after work with my wife and need to pick up my Mrs from the other side of town.’ Then do lifts for a few more weeks, then say some other cock and bull story about meeting mates and such and such. Then have a nightmare with the boiler you need to rush back and meet a plumber for. The new guy needs to realise he’s a burden on your DH and start learning to drive. I live rurally and there are no buses, you couldn’t survive without a car.

Just say no, it’s not convenient.
or maybe the colleague can give your husband lifts?

Actually, is there any chance of your DH getting himself a moped or e-bike (to cut costs etc.) so that he no longer has a car to bring New Lad into work in?

I was (for 8 years) a non-driver who used car-pools (or sometimes the bus) to get to work. However there were multiple car-pools, and nobody was obliged to be in a pool. When we had trainees joining us for a placement, we'd often juggle the pools to include them.

I was never picked up from home - I got myself to a point on the driver's route. Sometimes that was a minute's walk, for one it was a 15 minute cycle-ride.
I paid petrol money (there was a going-rate across all the car-pools for non-drivers).
The drivers determined departure times at the end of the day (kind of job where people could choose what time to leave and whether to take work home). If you didn't like it, you found a different pool. One pool included a fortnightly supermarket trip on the way home.

I think in your situation, I would say that you're willing to do it for a limited period (eg a month) while the lad gets himself sorted out with a bicycle or moped. Make it on your terms - so he needs to be at a layby on the main road near his housing estate by a given time, boots in a carrier bag or left at work. Your music. And yes, petrol money (but check insurance). If you have something to do after work, he'll have to put up with that - maybe he only gets a lift as far as where you're going.

I wouldn't do it - it's not about "being kind" as people are saying. I use travel time as me time, time to decompress. I might decide I want to swing my starbucks one day on my way to work or fancy doing something straight after work. I stead I would be tied to being at the colleagues house at a certain time before and after work 5 days a week.

Why tie yourself in knots like this? Lets stop teaching people that 'no' is a rude word.

Ha! Buying a moped and selling the car seems a very extreme way to get round this problem. Her DH loves the commute on his own and likes to listen to loud music, you can’t do that on a moped. I love being in the car on my own and immediately relax when I’ve dropped the children off and get that time on my own. I totally get where he’s coming from.

What happens in the event , God forbid, they were in an accident and this man decides to sue your partner? Extra weight in the car increases fuel consumption too. Is your partner inappropriate union, ask for advice on implications of this. What if your partner calls in sick what will they do to provide for transport then. Is this a cost cutting measure by the company to save them money rather than them having to pay for his commute.

Or agree to do it for 6 weeks/months until the company make other arrangements.

I wouldn't be happy either, people should not accept jobs if they are not able to get to them unaided. Should not be relying on another person.

@NoSquirrels is spot on. Be honest simple as that. What I don't understand is how this person was given the job knowing he had no way of getting to work other than relying on someone else....

It’s like this in Shetland, no public transport on the western side of the island. Also very long main road single tracks which can get dangerous. It’s really not ideal.

This. It isn’t your DPs problem

When DP gets his car back, he just emails boss and new colleague and says

" The company van is now available for <newboy> to drive to work".

There is always one. Because it's a full time commitment to never deviate from the drive to work and back at the exact same time, going somewhat out your way every single day to pick up someone you barely fucking know.

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet, but it could invalidate his car insurance!!!!
www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-3471953/amp/Beware-car-share-trap-Motorists-risk-having-cover-cancelled-regularly-offer-colleagues-lift-work.html

This.

It's absolutely not his problem, and they cannot force him to drive new boy. He needs to be clear he cannot commit to that, was not asked and cannot do it.

When your DHs new work colleague accepted the job he wouldn’t have known you lived nearby.
So what’s was his original plans to get to work? How would he have got there otherwise?

www.rac.co.uk/drive/news/motoring-news/giving-your-friends-a-lift-fines/

I know someone who was given a fixed penalty notice for giving friends a lift and accepting petrol money! The RAC warn drivers about being careful in the link above.