Expected to give colleague a lift every day, not even asked first!

[Workinghardeveryday]

Hopefully you may have some advice on a tricky situation my dp has.

He currently has about a 20 minute commute to work.

His boss rang him the other day to let him know there was a new person starting work, as he lives close to us, dp should pick him up and drop him off every day going forward.

It is fair enough at the moment as dp’s car is in the garage, so work have been really kind and let him use the works van.

Dp doesn’t want to look like a dick and say he refuses to do the pick up/drop off, but he is really pissed off about it.

He doesn’t mind doing while he has the van, that is absolutely fair enough, but when he gets his car back he doesn’t want to get it messed up with dirty work clothes and boots in it (he always brushes himself down and changed boots before getting in).

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

This new person is nice enough, doesn’t drive. We live rurally so no buses.

He feels really miffed this person has been given a job, only way of getting to work is my dp, yet he wasn’t even asked first!

Any ideas how to handle the situation? We really don’t know how to handle it without upsetting the boss.

Perhaps the new person isn’t too keen on this arrangement either!
I wonder what alternative they imagined, when they applied for a job with a commute they couldn't do unaided?!

His boss is a CF not asking, but your dh is the one that has caused this to get out of hand. Instead of just saying to his boss and/or the other guy in the beginning he couldn't/didn't want to do it, his actions have said not only am I fine with this, but I am so fine with it I will also get out my sick bed to do it too! The longer he lets this go on the louder he is saying, through actions, this is absolutely ok.

He needs to bite the bullet and speak up now/today instead of causing confusion for everyone.

Oh I would hate this!!! I would be mightily annoyed with my boss for making the assumption that I would be ok with this. I think people don’t have a clue how draining and anxiety inducing that this arrangement would be for an introvert. It has absolutely nothing to do with being selfish or unkind. It is to do with being in a really uncomfortable position. For those people asking if it’s that big a deal to give the lad a lift… YES it really is for someone who is introverted!

Would it be feasible for the young lad to cycle to work? Could move onto an electric bike eventually

In fairness, its the lad's problem of how he gets to work.

He could use a kayak, parachute or jetski - the OP's DH has shown himself to be a spineless pushover.

I've lost sympathy reading this!

He was ill- therefore he shouldn't have taken him in 🙄. Would have shown the boss the problems

how your dh doing @Workinghardeveryday

Why?

You don’t need to make your Dh sound like a pushover when he does this.

Dp told newbie he was getting car back in a couple of days, said it casually and mentioned he would need to sort his own lift going forward. Newbie didn’t say anything.

dp got car back and got lift off boss that morning to pick up newbie! He was fuming. Picked up newbie and was purposely 5 minutes late into the yard. Boss didn’t say anything, dp said was obvious he was pissed off and boss could tell.

The only other person with a works van was told to pick him up, on the second day he said in the yard to everyone he isn’t doing it again. Newbie hasn’t been to work since…

Still can’t work out why someone would accept a job if they couldn’t get there under own steam

if boss wants him Picked up he needs to give a works van to dh

guessing will be a vacancy at their work soon

That's a great update. I think your husband was very kind to cover the lifts until his car was ready. In what world, did the apprentice think he was guaranteed a lift for life?! I do think that the boss needs to stop, offering lifts on the behalf of other employees.

dp got car back and got lift off boss that morning to pick up newbie! He was fuming. Picked up newbie and was purposely 5 minutes late into the yard. Boss didn’t say anything, dp said was obvious he was pissed off and boss could tell.

Can you explain that. If your DH had got his car back, why did he get a lift from the boss to pick up the newbie? The boss picked DH up and then the newbie??

I'm thinking lift was a typo for text.

Maybe the kid is on holidays right now and will be back, so don't count your chickens just yet. If boss wants the kid to have a lift then the boss either needs to do the lifts himself or give time off to the person driving a works van or....ask for volunteers.

I feel bad for the newbie, but all of my negative feeling/blame is directed at the boss. The newbie had another job and he gave it up because the boss promised him that transport would be covered.

I 100% sympathise with the OP’s DH and the colleague who was subsequently volunteered to drive newbie in. I certainly wouldn’t want to do it and if newbie has been left unemployed because of this, the boss should feel utterly ashamed of himself. He created an unsustainable situation that should never have happened.

I was confused too!

Sorry typo, should have said got a text from boss to collect newbie that morning

@Workinghardeveryday Your DP is very silly for acting on that text message to pick up that other kid.

Has he no self esteem or backbone?

If your DP has left him to his devices now, why didnt he do that first??

Sorry, but little sympathy when your DP has shown himself to be a complete walk-over really.

@HelplessSoul he should have said no I agree.

i suppose he didn’t want to look in his words, ‘like a dick for saying no’.

It was always put across to him in way of, well your passing close to his house anyway..

Then he needs to say to boss. If you want me to pick up this newbie every day then I need the work van

saves his car getting dirty and mileage

If it was a text telling him to pick up the kid its a pity DH didn't get to read it in time unyil already at work. Sometimes if you can't do outright confrontations then you have to resort to plausible white lies.

Anyone who has kids knows mornings are busy. Everyone knows you can't read your phone in the car. Most people don't check their phones upon arriving to work especially if workmates are there to chat to. DH needs to not read any boss messages from now on 😉

"It was always put across to him in way of, well your passing close to his house anyway.."

And?

What has that got to do with the price of bread?

Every employee the world over is responsible for getting themselves to/from work.

While I understand your DH didnt want to look like a dick, he most certainly has been one on 2 ocassions - first when he was sick and now this text message.

Hard to feel any sympathy. Hope his boss tells that lad to make his own way in to work from now on too.

Valuable lesson your DH has had but doesnt appear he's learnt anything from it.

Sorry typo, should have said got a text from boss to collect newbie that morning

In that case, I would have ignored it. Your DH seems to be going out of his way to give lifts for some reason?! He needs to assert himself and stop behaving like a doormat.

@Workinghardeveryday how much longer does it take to pick up and drop off?what is the mileage difference? If your DH has to go back to the site to collect him , what time and mileage difference is it?

ignoring the fact your DH is entitled to his own space in his car, how much will this cost him? Can he let his boss know what his extra mileage is - and expect boss to pay for this. Plus the extra time, to be paid at overtime rate?

and if your DH wants to go somewhere other than home that night - tell his boss he does not want to have to go straight home. If he chooses to go to a supermarket on the way home, the lad will have to sit in car and wait. He might go to a cafe for a snack on way home etc.

Any update?

Dp’s colleague who has a work van and fuel for free now is giving the lad a lift everyday, it’s on his way past.

He did announce in the yard the first time he did it that would be the last time, but is now doing it every day ££?