Terrible gifts for a middle aged, or older, woman.

[Aixellency]

Can we make a list?

I’ll start: (This is adult to adult gifts - no judgment regarding presents from children!)

Afternoon tea. Just - why? Not that I don’t like cake and afternoon G&T - but this suggestion is always wheeled out as such a treat, as if one is suddenly too old to get dressed up for a night out.

Mug with a single ‘posh’ teabag. In fact, anything someone else thinks I’ll consider posh - I’m middle aged, I’ve done posh.

Anything at all from Etsy or Not on The High Street. Anything craft-y or home made, unless specifically requested.

Anything ‘safe’ or ‘nice’.

(Please, just stick to Islay single malt, Hermes nail polish, and newly published volumes of art, cookery, fiction or poetry. Thank you.)

No Thank You:
Anything personalised, afternoon tea, candles, a scarf, vouchers for an "Experience", alcohol, chocolate, biscuits, anything "home-baked", cookbooks, all cosmetics/toiletries. vouchers for treatments/nails, spa day/weekend. flowers and all indoor plants, (more) mugs, tickets for the theatre or cinema, teddy bears, clothing of any description, sports equipment, tickets for sporting events, anything pre-owned/from a charity shop, stationery, any jewellery I'm rather fussy incl fashion jewellery, keyrings, fridge magnets, handbags or purses, any and all tech or electricals, ornaments, craft kits, a pink velour dressing gown with a frilly neck/cuffs and embroidery on the yolk from my DM when I was 17

Yes Please:
Really good quality Oven gloves, 2 replacement Emma Bridgewater mugs, Richard Osmans new book (paperback).

The person who gifted me the 4ft thing would be a ghost now too 👻

OP obviously thinks that she represents all other middle age woman or she wouldnt have called it "Terrible gifts for a middle aged, or older, woman"

That went well.

I meant @AnnaMagnani .

Laughing so hard at these. I'm pretty easy pleased: afternoon tea would be lovely, thanks. I like event type presents- massage/ theatre or gig ticket/night away. I also love a candle (I buy lots, so saves me)/ nice makeup.

For the love of GOD, can people stop buying me alcohol (I don't drink, haven't done for 18 years but some folk just think I'm being healthy and appreciate a 'treat'. I'm not a recovering alcoholic, it just makes me fall asleep!). I turned 50 at the end of last year and got so many bottles of sparkles/ nice wine/ posh gin from neighbours/ work/ cousins it was ridiculous. We used them at Xmas/ New Year when people visited, but that wasn't a treat for me.

Likewise no skincare/ body creams/ shower/ bath niceties- I'm allergic and my sisters get it!

I'd like a photo album of my dgd etc

@woodhill You go to a place where they keep tame birds of prey, eagles, owls and whatnot. You don a giant industrial-strength gauntlet. They place a bird of prey on your outstretched arm. Etc.

Sound good 😀

I'd hate to receive liquor chocolates,
In fact liquor of any sort.
Chic lit books
Cheap anything , candles , smellies
Poinsettia

andtheweedonkey Epic list! 🏅😂

Puffalicious, my sibling who barely touches alcohol received So Much drink for their 50th birthday that some of it’s still in the cupboards five years later … (Though I do my best when I visit!)

@FangsForTheMemory "Fortnums did a gentleman’s tea and for all I know they still do. Cheese scones and anchovy toast I think."

I may have to revise my opinion of afternoon tea - that sounds very nice

Am bookmarking this to peruse at leisure when DH/DC ask me what I want.

Things I’d love,

old Penguin fiction or social history books
posh crisps
pukka mint tea

things I’d not love,

alcohol (gave up 10 years ago)
anything ‘empowering’ or ‘mindfulness’

I’m middle aged and already have alllll the stuff so actually would rather have nothing than something unnecessary. If I’m having something, I’d like people to get me things they know a lot about, that they think I’d like. So a photo from a photographer friend, a top from a friend who works in fashion, etc. One of the best presents I got was a poem hand-written on nice paper.

I absolutely don’t want anything more shit than the thing I would buy myself (applies to many categories covering beauty, wine and “experiences”)

I don’t want anything from NOTHS (please, SILs, no more personalised family “love” framed scrabble pieces) and nothing that comes up in any “gifts for her” google searches, or anything random you’ve picked up on a trolley dash round TK Maxx. I’d rather have nothing, I really would.

@woodhill 😊 that’s the thing, there are no age specific gifts, one person could love it and another hate it. I’m 55 and I’m not interested in having any framed photos.

Earrings are another generic gift, I can only wear gold or silver, anything else makes my ears sore.

Gin 😱 why the obsession??

I like all tgat stuff inam 41. However you being middle age and making a post like this?yea seems rude. Be happy people thought of you.

I’m all for consumables, things that can be used up and then not take up any house space. But I’ve somehow ended up with THREE bottles of various orange flavoured gin. I’d never ever pick it myself and I’m not sure anyone I know would pick an orange gin either. I suspect the poor bottles are stuck in an eternal re gift loop. I gave my unsuspecting dd the bottles to take with her to freshers week where I suspect they’ll be a bit less picky.

One can never have too many plants. Non-plantaholics don't realise that.

Have you ever tried to get people to buy you packets of seeds as a present? Impossible, they just won't do it, even though for me it would be lovely to have some surprise seeds, & it seems such an easily available (& cheap) gift.

A relative once came to visit. He & his wife stopped off at a big craft shop on the way, & he described one particular set of fat quarters (co-ordinated patchwork & quilting fabric) & said he'd nearly bought it for me. It sounded like exactly what I needed for my current project & I had so many questions I wanted to scream at him, like, WHY TELL ME, WHEN YOU DIDN'T BUY IT??? WHY SAY ANYTHING??? WHY DIDN'T YOU BUY ME SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD??? and WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

But I didn't. I just sat there & smiled, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Yankee candles
Willow tree
'Smellies'

I love flowers in season -- parrot tulips in April, peonies in June and beautiful football chrysanthemums (not spray chrysanths) in the autumn. Not much else though, although i will always appreciate the thought.
Scented candles are definitely not for me but someone once bought me some beautiful scented wax tablets of dried herbs and flowers with hanging ribbons to put in wardrobes. They smell divine and last for ages.

Yes I'm a similar age. I like it when my dcs make me a photo album etc as I never get round to doing it and they have done photo frames

DD bought me Clarins hand cream which is a lovely treat and I love flowers

You didnt state your 'personal prefreces' (that would be a thread titled 'terrible gifts to buy me') but rather you poised it as the preference of all middle ages women and it is not, many have come here to state they would HATE what you like but love the stuff you said is not suitible for 'middle aged women'.

You spoke on behalf of an entitre group of people with nothing more than your personal taste and the women in that group have simply spoken out to tell you your wrong to speak for all of them.

No one cares if you like art and nail varnish it that you said afternoon tea is a terrible gift for 'middle aged women' when this threat show majoratively we like afternoon tea but most dont care for art and nail varnish.

@woodhill

The birds of prey experience I got for my last birthday was a few hours spent wearing a heavy gauntlet and face protection in a center quite a distance out of town where owls, hawks of all kinds, buzzards, and other raptors who have been slightly tamed are available for careful handling by the paying public. It was quite a thrill to see a falcon flying straight at my outstretched arm and perching there.

Don't want alcohol especially as it adds calories

Dm always buys me candles but I never get round to using them

Wow great experience to have😀