Partner due to inherit 8-9 figures

[ticklety]

I am not married, but we have been dating a few years and are in our late 20s and it will happen one day. He is kind, caring, and we have the same vision for the future. Neither are ready to settle but we would love a couple of children one day.

His family live very middle class lifestyle in a foreign country, and we live very below average and struggle with money.

DP has just found out that his family are ridiculously rich. He is not surprised that there is a lot of money but he is surprised by the amount. They are mid to high 9 figures rich and a chunk of this (8-9 figures) will one day come to him.

His mum gets told off by his dad for spending money, and the whole family has the attitude that every penny must be saved for the future.

The problem is that although I am a super saver myself, I also believe money is there to be enjoyed and you can save and enjoy it at the same time.

My partner said that when he inherits this money he will keep it away and invest it so his children can inherit it. He doesn't want to spend a penny of it because he says it's not his money.

Even if we lived off half the interest generated we could live a very decent life. Or even just paid ourself a salary of £30k each from the money a year.

If I inherited this money (which I appreciate it's not my inheritance) I would make sure my partner and children lived a full and happy life. I would live well well below my means but never look at the price of the menu at pizza express any more.

This money can transform our lives, but it's not going to. If we get married would I get any say or would it always be his to decide as it comes from his family?

Should I just mind my own business?

I think the bigger issue here is that you're seeking a future with a man who has totally different values when it comes to money. I'm the same as you, I like to save but I also like to enjoy little luxuries if I can. I have never seen the point of saving loads of money, only to die cold and in old clothes, just so the next generation can benefit.

My philosophy tends to be, give a bit, spend a bit, save a bit. I couldn't be with someone who was mean, tight fisted and utterly determined to pass everything on.

Obviously this is all hypothetical at the moment as you're not married, there are no kids and he hasn't inherited yet. But if you are planning a long term future with him then I think it's wise to know up front his attitude to money in general. This could be a dealbreaker.

I would mind my own business, but secretly start plotting which business lol
With that much money you can create your own huge business!
Not that would dramatically change my every day life, I think money is to be spent wisely, but I do have business ideas to invest it in, though not the training.
First thing to do would be to get well train in finances and business I suppose his family are frugal, but they are all accountants, CEOs, ditectors or something like that? If not, I do not believe it. Nobody can manage that much money without being professional at it
Also, nine figures abroad may translate in really low value in pounds?

All sounds a bit fishy to me

"My partner said that when he inherits this money he will keep it away and invest it so his children can inherit it. He doesn't want to spend a penny of it because he says it's not his money."
So by that logic no one will ever spend the money?

Also if a parent sees fit to bequeath such a large amount they must thing a great deal of the person they are leaving the cash to.
But not enough to give to them now even though they are "struggling with money" and living a "below average" lifestyle.

Either the father wants to help or he doesn't. It makes no sense.
If I was sitting on £100 million pounds I would support my close relatives, and it would hardly make a dent.

Yes this could be true.

Money aside.... I don't really fully agree with its none of OPS business. I think perhaps you are not compaitable?

Does your OH not have a decent job currently OP??

If we get married would I get any say or would it always be his to decide as it comes from his family?

My experience of marrying high net worth individuals is that there'll be a pre-nup. It will feel very very clinical & personally insulting. If it happens, get yourself a lawyer as well. His parents will have at least one!

I would expect inheritance on that scale to be very securely tied up in legal trusts so that you wouldn't be getting to walk off with half of it if you married and then divorced him!

You aren't married
You have no children
It's his money - his business what he does but even if you were married if he chose to save every penny you'd not be able to do anything about it apart from moan!!!

Different cultures have different ideas of money, expenditure, savings, expectations etc you should respect his views and wishes even if you don't agree with them as it might come across as grabby and he'll run for the hills

It's fair enough for your to be mulling this over.

Have you googled the company/ family name? You will find out more there.

He will be advised not to marry btw, at least not without a pre nup, so keep that in mind.

He'd be daft not to at least put it in a property for you to live in. Living mortgage free will give you a lot of opportunities for you to spend your pay as you wish.

A problem could come if you are on mat leave and he expects you to live off that without any financial support from him.

Plus he can do what he wants but once your dcs inherit they can spend it on things you would prefer.

Personally I'd be pretty passed off if a dp had the funds for private school and private health care but chose to deny these to his dcs.

It's quite hard to get my head around how realistic it is that your partner will receive so much money and whether it will even end up in his bank account in the UK. Maybe you are incompatible in terms of how you both see your financial futures. However, that may not matter if this money never arrives. It feels a bit like me telling a partner that if I won Euromillions, I would spend the money on champagne and diamonds while they said they would set up a bitcoin business. It would only matter if I did win the Euromillion jackpot (very unlikely as I wouldn't even know how to buy a ticket)!

It sounds as if even the prospect of this money is corroding your relationship. I think it would be better for your own peace of mind if you could stop yourself from thinking about it.

Sorry to keep asking, this just seems so implausible- is this 9 figures GBP or yen?

bear in mind half of this will go in tax. And divided by 6 grandkids- you may not have a clear picture of how much he’s talking about.

if it really is 9 figures, after tax, after division among grandkids, in GBP, and he still says he doesn’t want to touch it- then yes, you may be in a relationship with an insane person.

Chinese yuan 1 = 13p today, when sterling is at an historic low.
In 2020, at one point it was equal to10p. No one knows what the exchange rate will be when/if your DP gets his share of the inheritance. Divide 8 ways, deduct tax etc ...do the Maths OP, it might not be as much as you think. Years of primary and secondary, day only, private education is expensive (c£15k pa according to The Guardian), then there's uni, hobbies, private medical etc to pay for, so I understand DP's point of not wanting to spend early on. Invested, the value can go up or down and be down just when you need to withdraw a large sum.

If it's all sitting in cash, which I seriously doubt, inflation will be eroding its value. But any person who has owned and sold a multi-million sterling value business will have financial advisers and accountants so don't be surprised if it's tied up in a trust.

It’s absolutely none of your business and nothing to do with you.

Stop calculating interest payments on what is not yours.

Big big turnoff and if you carry on like this he’ll very likely dump you anyway.

Very foolish to count your chickens in your position.

Of course you wouldn't be unreasonable if you married him to expect to have a nice life if he has millions, or hundreds of millions, of pounds... No brainier to buy a nice house, good education for kids and be able to live comfortably on the interest.

But it's not really your choice until you're married and he actually has the cash.

Personally I think it's insane of him to want to keep it all completely for the kids and live an average or struggling life when you have 100million. But it's up to him - and to an extent you - only after the fact (marriage and inherit).

And I agree with another PP that it could very well be a test. To see what you do. The very wealthy can be quite funny about money.

Before you even consider this inheritance you have to work out if you are fiscally similar - are you savers, spendthrifts or somewhere in the middle?

Would you spend extra on something if you deem it 'worth it' - what does worth it mean to both of you?

Your question is totally hypothetical, you are just his girlfriend and therefore should just butt out. He hasn't even been given any money

If you do get married and have DC then I would assume you would have more of a say.

If he gets £50m I would think it reasonable to have a lovely house, have a nice car and educate your DC privately and still have tons of money left for future generations.

Why does his DPs live in a flat? Surely they would get some money before your other half? It sounds like a very weird set up

300,000,000.00 yen is slightly over £1,900.000.
If the figures the OP's partner is talking about are in the 9 figure band then they're probably talking about YEN.

The example given above, shows what a 9 figure sum of 300m yen would be converted to GBP. Not quite £2m.
All may not be what it seems especially as things are cheap in China and many people live in shoe boxes, more or less.
That sum might buy you a house in zone 6 area of London and possibly, a 2 bed bungalow where I live.

Often these businesses will be using USD to settle transactions. Again, not that it’s the OPs business

He should dump her! Very tacky of you op. You have plans for his money yet you're not even married or have children.

I’m astonished by what I’m reading here!

This money isn’t yours. It may never be your partner’s money either. Inheritance isn’t guaranteed and you sound grabby and entitled. His parents may have plans for their money. It might be a lot less than you think. They might live another 40 years. They might have no intention of leaving it to your partner.

Make your own money and stop being so ridiculous. You’re being greedy and mercenary and it’s not a good look.

Agree with the others saying you sound grabby and entitled. Yes you should mind your own business and instead work to ensure you transform your own life instead of banking on money coming in from people you're not related to.

I sincerely hope his family have thought about how to distribute any inheritance and consider putting it into a trust to prevent any partners from laying claim to it.

I sincerely hope his family have thought about how to distribute any inheritance and consider putting it into a trust to prevent any partners from laying claim to it.

I'll never be in this position, but it's my advice to the people who are.

Is this a real situation? It seems so unbelievable!

anyway, if he wants his children to benefit from this, he NEEDS to access and spend it himself - give them a nice home, good education, travel the world with them, make sure they never go hungry.

why wait till they’re adults and have half a lifetime of struggling before sharing this with them? It’s not like it’s a moderate amount that will run out quickly.

that’s my view, if I had the means to make my children’s lives better while they’re still young, I would.

Fingers crossed it is highly likely that your DP's grandfather could live a very long life, and so could his parents which would mean that you could be in your late 40s - 50s by the time DP would inherit whatever wealth there might be left at that point. I sincerely hope you're not planning on spending half your life holding out for some big pay-out. If you want a nice life for you and your future family, I would concentrate on your own earnings rather than pinning all your hopes on some potential future inheritance that could be a long, long way down the line.

My GF had a lot of money and my parents were always very clear that we should make our own way in life and not hope for some future inheritance which was just as well as when he did die he had burnt through most of his money and we all got a couple of thousand each. My poor cousins were most put out as they had been led to believe that they were going to inherit a fortune and no longer need to work and had a pretty rude awakening!

If you are in your 20s and not long out of uni, then of course you will be struggling for money. This is temporary, so don't worry. Everyone is broke in their 20s.
Don't have babies with him until you are married, old fashioned I know, but you would be making yourself vulnerable, especially if your dp becomes very wealthy and you don't.
We had conversations about winning the lottery when we were younger, dh would say things about living off the interest and saving everything whilst I thought about seaside homes and diamonds. The reality would have been somewhere in between.
Don't let this cloud or spoil the relationship, its a very exciting possible in the future, but put thoughts of the money to one side. It isn't his yet, and won't be anything to do with you unless you are married.

The term gold digger comes to mind. Hopefully, there won’t be much left by the time your boyfriend comes to inherit it. You want money to make your life better then go and earn it. Your partner’s inheritance is his alone and not yours to spend on shite.