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Original poster

Partner due to inherit 8-9 figures

313 replies

ticklety · 26/09/2022 12:07

I am not married, but we have been dating a few years and are in our late 20s and it will happen one day. He is kind, caring, and we have the same vision for the future. Neither are ready to settle but we would love a couple of children one day.

His family live very middle class lifestyle in a foreign country, and we live very below average and struggle with money.

DP has just found out that his family are ridiculously rich. He is not surprised that there is a lot of money but he is surprised by the amount. They are mid to high 9 figures rich and a chunk of this (8-9 figures) will one day come to him.

His mum gets told off by his dad for spending money, and the whole family has the attitude that every penny must be saved for the future.

The problem is that although I am a super saver myself, I also believe money is there to be enjoyed and you can save and enjoy it at the same time.

My partner said that when he inherits this money he will keep it away and invest it so his children can inherit it. He doesn't want to spend a penny of it because he says it's not his money.

Even if we lived off half the interest generated we could live a very decent life. Or even just paid ourself a salary of £30k each from the money a year.

If I inherited this money (which I appreciate it's not my inheritance) I would make sure my partner and children lived a full and happy life. I would live well well below my means but never look at the price of the menu at pizza express any more.

This money can transform our lives, but it's not going to. If we get married would I get any say or would it always be his to decide as it comes from his family?

Should I just mind my own business?

OP posts:

MessyBunPersonified · 26/09/2022 12:23

You don't have to feel anything.

Its not happening yet, may never happen, and you're not married/have no kids.

You're spending potential inheritance before the person has died, and before you know how much there may be. Sounds grabby as fuck tbh.

BerriesOnTop · 26/09/2022 12:23

Not your business just forget about it.

Original poster

ticklety · 26/09/2022 12:24

It is true that he could never get the money at all. And I'm just looking for some clarity and to gather my thoughts.

We don't know how much or when. 80% of the money could be given to charity and the rest divided amongst the grandchildren. So it could be far less. But assuming that DP is getting 1/6 of the grandfathers money, it's in the low 9 figures or high 8 figures range. There will be an expectation that he spends zero of this and that it lasts for generations. It will be seen as his to invest not to spend.

All I wanted was a fun life with a partner, kids, and some lovely memories.

OP posts:

Maireas · 26/09/2022 12:25

That's how Mr Rochester decided that glamorous woman wasn't for him in Jane Eyre. He tested her on his inheritance.

Original poster

ticklety · 26/09/2022 12:26

I know the company the grandfather owned, I looked it up and know he started it and know its very large. It would have sold for a lot of money

OP posts:

MessyBunPersonified · 26/09/2022 12:28

All I wanted was a fun life with a partner, kids, and some lovely memories.

What was your plan to achieve this before you found out about these hundreds of millions?

Maireas · 26/09/2022 12:28

Is it Microsoft?
Because all that's going to charity.

starrynight21 · 26/09/2022 12:29

If DP is in his 20's, his grandfather could easily be only in his 60's , and might have another 20 - 30 years left to live. By which time he might have changed his mind and left it all to someone else . I wouldn't be mentally making plans for money which you may never see .

Midnights · 26/09/2022 12:30

If this is an actual genuine problem, and you currently aren't married and have no DC, and he currently has no inheritance sitting in his ban- it's a non issue.

Why worry about something when the money could be lost / gambled / given away? It's not your money and not your problem at the moment. No need to spend effort thinking about it!

butterfliedtwo · 26/09/2022 12:30

DillonPanthersTexas · 26/09/2022 12:20

You are not even married to this man yet you are making plans as to how to spend money that he has not yet received and that you are not actually entitled to.

Baffling. If I were him, I wouldn't be telling you anything. It is nothing to do with you at this point.

Original poster

ticklety · 26/09/2022 12:31

@MessyBunPersonified I ran a successful business but it hasn't been doing well for a while now. I have an education and transferable skills. I also have a lot of uni debt and high cost of living.

OP posts:

Adultchildofelderlyparents · 26/09/2022 12:31

He may inherit this money one day, but he doesn't have it now and you don't know for certain if/when he will receive it. So put the idea of the money aside for now.

At the beginning you say "we have the same vision for the future", then you go on to describe in detail one very fundamental way that you don't have the same vision for the future. Whether you are living off the interest of a £100 million inheritance, or living off a £30K salary, if you are going to marry someone, have kids together, and spend the rest of your life together, you need to have a conversation about money, how you want to live, how you want to plan, save, and enjoy your income.

butterfliedtwo · 26/09/2022 12:31

MessyBunPersonified · 26/09/2022 12:28

All I wanted was a fun life with a partner, kids, and some lovely memories.

What was your plan to achieve this before you found out about these hundreds of millions?

Exactly this.

TwoWeeksislong · 26/09/2022 12:32

Tell him if/when the inheritance happens, he should absolutely see a financial advisor to talk about what to do with it.
Firstly because there will be taxes to pay on it, exchange rates to deal with etc.
The financial advisor will be able to talk about options for how to sensibly invest the money and how much income it could generate without significantly reducing the original amount if he wants to eventually pass it on to his children.
Money doesn’t matter until you don’t have enough of it, when suddenly it is the most important thing. Have a think about what sort of lifestyle you would be happy with and how much money it would take for you to have that lifestyle with no financial worries - eg. Modest family home/appartment paid off so all your income would be directed elsewhere? Pay off your student loans? Have a discussion about finances not involving the possible inheritance then bring into it how the inheritance could make that lifestyle stress free.
If he won’t marry you and the inheritance happens, make sure you protect your own financial independence. Don’t let your money be used up as fun money while his money gets invested in property etc.

MessyBunPersonified · 26/09/2022 12:32

ticklety · 26/09/2022 12:31

@MessyBunPersonified I ran a successful business but it hasn't been doing well for a while now. I have an education and transferable skills. I also have a lot of uni debt and high cost of living.

Work on getting a the life you want for yourself then instead of sitting around waiting for someone to die so you can have a good time on someone else's money.

ilovepixie · 26/09/2022 12:33

This sounds like a scam to me.

bert3400 · 26/09/2022 12:33

You sound incredibly grabby ...considering you're not even married, you are planning what to do with HIS inheritance. When my parents die I'm inline to inherit a massive amount as I'm an only child, my DH of 25years has never mentioned what will happen when we get this money, I don't want to think about it and if he started mentioning it I would be really hurt. You need to rein it in as you are coming across as a bit of a gold digger with big fat $$ in her eyes

CoastalWave · 26/09/2022 12:34

Is this a troll?

Original poster

ticklety · 26/09/2022 12:34

Really it looks like at some point he will inherit this money and our lives will not change one bit. We will both go to work and bring home an income, and have one or two holidays a year with our kids and I feel I have to decide whether I will feel resentful that there is an opportunity right there to have a better life and my partner is gatekeeping it.

OP posts:

UseOfWeapons · 26/09/2022 12:35

You sound too interested in the money that hasn’t even been inherited yet!
A prenup would benefit him if you do eventually marry.

lancashirelady · 26/09/2022 12:35

What currency are you talking about?

Original poster

ticklety · 26/09/2022 12:36

I'm just trying to gain clarity on an unexpected situation. I had no idea about the money until recently and it has really taken me aback.

We have the same vision for our lives.

I am not grabby, I am trying to understand what is the norm here.

OP posts:

Shitfather · 26/09/2022 12:36

Yes you are being VV unreasonable expecting a penny at this stage of your lives. Quite frankly, this post makes zero sense, particularly the 30k/yr but when he can live off the interest worth 10s of millions/yr. If you decide to marry, this is a conversation to be had with him. Sounds a bit made up to me. How’s it possible he never knew his family were that minted?

Original poster

ticklety · 26/09/2022 12:36

@lancashirelady thats a good point I never thought of. I may not even be sterling

OP posts:

TimeAtTheBar · 26/09/2022 12:37

I think people are being unfair here.

anyone who says they wouldn’t daydream and wonder a bit about a NINE FIGURE inheritance is a fucking liar 🤣

OP isn’t being grabby ffs.

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