Partner due to inherit 8-9 figures

[ticklety]

I am not married, but we have been dating a few years and are in our late 20s and it will happen one day. He is kind, caring, and we have the same vision for the future. Neither are ready to settle but we would love a couple of children one day.

His family live very middle class lifestyle in a foreign country, and we live very below average and struggle with money.

DP has just found out that his family are ridiculously rich. He is not surprised that there is a lot of money but he is surprised by the amount. They are mid to high 9 figures rich and a chunk of this (8-9 figures) will one day come to him.

His mum gets told off by his dad for spending money, and the whole family has the attitude that every penny must be saved for the future.

The problem is that although I am a super saver myself, I also believe money is there to be enjoyed and you can save and enjoy it at the same time.

My partner said that when he inherits this money he will keep it away and invest it so his children can inherit it. He doesn't want to spend a penny of it because he says it's not his money.

Even if we lived off half the interest generated we could live a very decent life. Or even just paid ourself a salary of £30k each from the money a year.

If I inherited this money (which I appreciate it's not my inheritance) I would make sure my partner and children lived a full and happy life. I would live well well below my means but never look at the price of the menu at pizza express any more.

This money can transform our lives, but it's not going to. If we get married would I get any say or would it always be his to decide as it comes from his family?

Should I just mind my own business?

Why are you spending someone elses money in your mind before
they even have it, with no guarantee that you'll still be in the picture when that time comes?

YOU aren't inheriting a penny of it & you don't have the same attitude towards finances or you wouldn't be thinking of how to spend what he is thinking of how to save.

Wow you really do have ££'s in your eyes 🤩

If he's not planning on spending any of it and it won’t change your lives at all then go back to normal and forget about it!

Exactly this he would have been better off not mentioning it to you.

The reason why he isn’t talking about the future is because you probably don’t feature in it. He’s apparently your ‘partner’ yet you aren’t even sure you are going to get married.

Also note : his children NOT our children

please don’t get excited mentally spending your boyfriend’s money and how it will apparently improve your life. It’s very clear from his words that he doesn’t want to discuss it with you or you getting carried away.

The fact he didn’t know his family were that rich sounds like BS.

the fact he would invest millions and millions away for future children he doesn’t yet have, sounds like BS.

the fact that anyone would put away millions and millions without spending a penny to give to their children is BS. You just wouldn’t do that because there would be so much money, so much much that they can’t possible use it unless they’re were actually actively trying to run out of money.. is BS.

Either you’re a troll or your DP is a compulsive liar.

but theoretically. I wouldn’t like to discuss a figure like that of inheritance thats going to a man I’ve been with for a few years.. while speaking a lot about myself in the post (I don’t spend much money, if it was me, I would want to, what would happy to me if we were married) it sounds very me me me now you know there’s a substantial amount of money involved.

and gold digger is not a good look.

You’re just with him for the inheritance then…

@ticklety you've shared a lot.

There can't be that many people with an [almost] billionaire grandfather who've only just realised that one day the are likely to inherit a substantial sum (c. £100M maybe), but aren't planning on even spending a penny of the interest's interest. Do you want your partner, or one of his family, to stumble across your musing in the daily mail?

In answer to your question - yes, it does sound pretty ridiculous to not spend a penny or even £30K/yr of the interest. What's the point in it? Would your children be expected to do the same? I expect he'll change his mind a bit...

'He has ten thousand a year, Mr Bennet! Think of that! What fine carriages and horses the OP shall have.'

This will be in the daily mail within 24 hours.

It’s the good china all over again, important to have it, but there is never a good enough situation to use it 🤪

Is the money in China.

Haha, what a load of bullshit

@ticklety Also, 100 million Chinese Yen is 'only' 12.8 million GBP

This, they are in china not the UK the money needs converting, it then needs splitting between beneficiaries.

Its £129,500 devided by 6 grandchildren according to OP (thats if no one in the parents generation get anything) so say its split even its £21,500 each pretty much.

I dont know why OP (who has no claim to anything anyway) thinks shes basically going to be a billionaire that can retire.

I would say if you are in your late 20s and both not yet ready to settle down, you should do your best to forget the inheritance.
I know many friends whose relationships at that point broke down, or one partner left before commiting to marriage or children.
Thinking about this money now, it like daydreaming about the lottery.
Focus on your compatibility in your life together now.

Not worth even thinking about until the solicitor transfers the funds.

At that stage your boyfriend (or both of you, if you are married or have children) can speak to a financial advisor and make a plan.

until then, the money is pure fantasy and even if it exists, may never actually land with your boyfriend.

if you marry him, do it based on your actual circumstances, not some near-mythical fortune that may be swallowed up by death taxes or legal wrangling over the estate.

Mystery millionaire grandad might marry his nurse and make her his sole beneficiary.

I could not live with a man who was such a tight arse. Would he really see his wife and children in poverty. Fuck that.

Does not spending millions equate to poverty? Really?

Yeah, it's not really Mr Darcey territory is it? Disappointing.

I couldn’t be with someone who was getting upset that some money they are not entitled to wouldn’t be paying them a wage.

I understand why this may be an exciting prospect for you, but you'd be foolish to think that some of this money could be coming your way. So many things can change before he inherits it.

Try to put it out of your mind and do not ask him about it again. It is not his yet and it definitely isn't yours, sorry.

I agree with this. It's a bit like arguing over what you'll spend a lottery win on. Don't count on anything until it's actually there in a bank account.

I'd also just not factor it into day to day life because it may never happen and is not worth worrying about.

When you're married and he has inherited only then can you perhaps suggest how the money could be invested/spent to have a nice future for your family.
At this point I would be a little perturbed that your attitudes to finances are platitudes apart and that is never a good thing in a relationship.
Spenders should be with spenders and savers with savers any other combination tends to lead to friction.
Don't forget after IHT the sums will be significantly reduced.

I think one of the things you need to know about, before marriage, dc or any financial entanglement of any kind, is your partner’s attitude to money.

If that doesn’t align, it doesn’t bode well for a relationship.

You might be better off to walk away at this point, and find someone who has a similar attitude to yourself. You could have a good life on a much smaller amount of money, and be content. The resentment of living with someone with vast wealth who won’t spend it will eat you up.

Oh dear this does make you sound mercenary