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Original poster

I can't get hold of my elderly dad

155 replies

EveryLeafSpeaksBlissToMe · 25/09/2022 07:27

I live 4 hours away from my dad. He is 85 and lives alone. He is very fit and healthy for his age, and I don't have any health worries about him.

However, I have not been able to get hold of him for 2 days. We usually check in with each other every day, and I have called him loads of times, with no answer. My siblings haven't heard from him either. Unfortunately I don't know his neighbours so can't call anyone to go look.

I have to work today and tomorrow, and it is not something I can throw a sickie at easily. Of course, if I have not heard from him by the end of the day I am going up there.

Any suggestions? I am worried he has had a fall down the stairs or been in an accident.

OP posts:
Mollymalone123 · 25/09/2022 07:29

You can ask police to do a welfare check-phone the non emergency number and explain the circumstances-x

Someaddedsugar · 25/09/2022 07:29

Could you ring the local police number and see what they suggest? They might be able to pop round?

Saturdaydreamingway2355555 · 25/09/2022 07:29

Welfare check from the police? If neither you nor siblings can get there than that’s the only answer….. if all is in order you need get details for the neighbours so this doesn’t happen again. xx

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HoppingPavlova · 25/09/2022 07:30

Call the police and ask them to do a welfare check explaining the situation. They would be quicker than you I imagine.

Saturdaydreamingway2355555 · 25/09/2022 07:30

(Go through 101 - non emergency number)

BlackeyedSusan · 25/09/2022 07:30

Police welfare check?

Sorry lovely but I think it is a sod work and get there situation. For one of you at least.

ChannelIsland · 25/09/2022 07:31

Phon Ethel police right now and ask them to do a welfare check - they will be there very quickly.

If, hopefully, all is well then no harm done. If your dad is ill then he needs that call made immediately, not to either whether it is appropriate.

the police will not mind doing this in the least.

ChannelIsland · 25/09/2022 07:31

*Phone the

Roselilly36 · 25/09/2022 07:32

Do any of your siblings live closer to your dad, or know any details of the neighbours? If not then Police, especially as it seems to be out of character for your dad, and no other siblings has been able to make contact. Good luck.

Abouttimemum · 25/09/2022 07:33

Police, definitely!!

TreacsPotNoodle · 25/09/2022 07:33

Agree with previous advise but just wanted to offer a handhold and I hope he's ok 💐

FinallyHere · 25/09/2022 07:38

Handhold, hope all is well

Bit of a log shot but when my mother's phone was out of order, the Waitrose delivery driver rang me from their personal mobile just to let me know that all was well.

Original poster
EveryLeafSpeaksBlissToMe · 25/09/2022 07:40

Thx.

I am going to go to work in a minute and try calling him again. If I can't get through I will call the 101 number.

If and when I find him I am going to get the numbers of those around him. Also, moving forward my DH said to put an iTile on his key ring and perhaps something in his house that detects lack of motion.

I do have siblings, but they are men, and unfortunately I am going to have to deal with this myself.

I'm not ready to lose my dad, as well as my mum 😢

OP posts:
DeliberatelyObtuse · 25/09/2022 07:45

I agree about the welfare check

Handhold from me

girlmom21 · 25/09/2022 07:46

Are your brothers any closer distance wise?

Neverplayleapfrogwithaunicorn · 25/09/2022 07:47

I hope he is ok xx handhold x

CasaDelSoot · 25/09/2022 07:47

Hope it turns out ok OP. Hopefully the police can help if your brothers aren't close enough to go round.

It's really tricky when you don't live near elderly parents.
Going forward it's important, when they get to that age, for you to have contact details of their friend or neighbour who you can contact in this situation.

pinkyponkyplink · 25/09/2022 07:48

Would work understand if you told them? I think id be straight over there. I hope he's ok

RampantIvy · 25/09/2022 07:48

I'm sorry that this is such a worry and hope that your dad is OK.

I'm not sure why the sex of your siblings renders them incapable of checking on your dad.

neighboursmustliveon · 25/09/2022 07:50

The police are usually really good in situations like this. We had elderly neighbours on either sides and had the call them out to both to welfare check them.

LubaLuca · 25/09/2022 07:55

Have you told any of your brothers to go because you can't? Are any of them nearer to your dad than 4 hours away?

FivePotatoesHigh · 25/09/2022 08:05

Really hope he is ok.

Re work: you don’t ‘throw a sickie’ for this, you tell your work and ask for special leave.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/09/2022 08:07

Even if your siblings are men, does one of them live closer?

Puppypads · 25/09/2022 08:08

Do your brothers live closer to him? Even if they are men Hmm I'm sure they could manage to knock on his door.
Otherwise local coppers can do a welfare check.

AriettyHomily · 25/09/2022 08:10

Work shouldn't be your priority right now.

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