The gravy fuckery has gone too far

[WillYouDoTheFandango]

I’ll start with saying we share the cooking but DP likes to cook the Sunday dinner (moved to Monday this week as we had time on our hands). He has proclaimed himself as a fabulous Sunday dinner chef. Second to none. He likes to throw in weird and wonderful shit into our food and I am expected to just go with it. I have had to start taking DS’ food out first, before DP adds loads of stuff to it or he won’t eat it.

He has started to fuck about with the gravy. It started with the beef gravy - onions, red wine, garlic powder, nothing too out there, pretty good results. But now he’s decided he’s going to perfect his chicken gravy.

We had a whole conversation about how much I hate rosemary. Next day, there it was, poisoning my gravy. I reminded him of my dislike but apparently “it goes with the chicken”.

Today we hit rock bottom though. My Yorkshire pudding was covered in bright orange, spicy gravy. When I asked why, I was told it was probably the paprika. 😫I mean where will it end? I’m either going to have to have a serious conversation about pre-warning me about what he’s throwing in or start joining DS in the bisto so I don’t end up with any more “surprises”.

And I know i could make it myself but any suggestions of that are taken as a personal insult to his cookery credentials. Anyone else living with a culinary innovator and not always enjoying the experience?

Anyone know where any of the recipes that might inspire these genii are published or is it from celebrity chefs' cookbooks? If a forum such as 'who needs to follow a recipe if you are a naturally gifted male chef, how hard can it be if women cook all the time.com', I might be tempted to conceive some innovative flavour combinations to post. Do the recipes carry an epilogue like 'don't forget to use every pan and spoon, the astounded family will fight to do the washing up. Expect super, (Centreparc-esque) rewards afterwards from your loving spouse.

What other areas of life sometimes benefit from the naturally gifted saving the day? Home decor?

Onion bhajis?? I’d cancel and book somewhere serving a traditional Christmas lunch, personally. I’d also tell them why, as it costs a fortune to eat out on Christmas Day and they may well be losing business with their WalnutAndOnionBhajiFuckery!

My DH made Christmas Curry once. We were out of 5 spice so he used mixed spice instead thinking it would be the same.

It wasn't. Strangely OK for a couple of forkfulls then..........noo........

Kept expecting to find candied peel.

Sorry, didn't intend to copy in the OP and I've no idea how that happened 🙁

The title of this thread just makes me laugh

Oh and LTB

So after the tomato and lime infused carbonara the other night (which actually, I hate to say, wasn't too bad - mainly because you couldn't taste the lime, and it ultimately wasn't a carbonara), I cooked last night.

I made Dijon pork with rice. And I followed the recipe to a t (apart from omitting some mustard powder because bugger buying that for a once in a blue moon recipe).

DP declared it 10/10 (we have to give scores after every meal... just one of his DELIGHTFUL quirks) but told me I'd have got 11 had I not followed a recipe.

Strange, strange men.

I need to see the YP spreadsheet (sorry haven't RTFT).

Eugh, it sounds horrendous, with us it’s not the gravy. It’s using leftovers of any kind to make a ‘one pot’ which the children are expected to eat without complaint. He usually does this when I’m not there as he knows I would insist they could leave it. Arrived half way through before now and immediately put on some pasta. Total nob.

My DH calls it ‘his world famous gravy’. He puts a blob of bobbly mustard in it ….