The gravy fuckery has gone too far

[WillYouDoTheFandango]

I’ll start with saying we share the cooking but DP likes to cook the Sunday dinner (moved to Monday this week as we had time on our hands). He has proclaimed himself as a fabulous Sunday dinner chef. Second to none. He likes to throw in weird and wonderful shit into our food and I am expected to just go with it. I have had to start taking DS’ food out first, before DP adds loads of stuff to it or he won’t eat it.

He has started to fuck about with the gravy. It started with the beef gravy - onions, red wine, garlic powder, nothing too out there, pretty good results. But now he’s decided he’s going to perfect his chicken gravy.

We had a whole conversation about how much I hate rosemary. Next day, there it was, poisoning my gravy. I reminded him of my dislike but apparently “it goes with the chicken”.

Today we hit rock bottom though. My Yorkshire pudding was covered in bright orange, spicy gravy. When I asked why, I was told it was probably the paprika. 😫I mean where will it end? I’m either going to have to have a serious conversation about pre-warning me about what he’s throwing in or start joining DS in the bisto so I don’t end up with any more “surprises”.

And I know i could make it myself but any suggestions of that are taken as a personal insult to his cookery credentials. Anyone else living with a culinary innovator and not always enjoying the experience?

Brilliant these title, gravey fuckery! Hope he learns soon to stick within a reasonably traditional gravey. No one wants surprises in the yorkshire puds!

Orange paprika gravy........LTB 😱

My Husband does this, just why ? Weird random shit added to everyday food . Just fucking stop it .He's not allowed in the kitchen on Christmas day . Take up painting if you want to be creative .

I had a date once insist that her white gravy was the stuff of legend and highly thought of by her friends and family. Second date, a roast dinner was cooked for me, with white gravy. God knows what was in it, but its the only time I have not eaten a roast dinner!

You have my sympathies Op, mine can't seem to make normal gravy, it always has to have something in it. I'd love a jug of Bisto

Washing up doesn't excuse anyone from fucking up the food

Thankfully mine doesn't cook but he has been known to add things-to-rice , like basil'n'oregano . fine with tomatoe but not sweet/sour
or he'll add sage and it tastes like a musty sock

Let him continue to mess with his gravy, but get yourself a pot of Bisto or M&S ready gravy on standby for emergencies.

You have summed up our household. DP refuses to use recipes and simply adds stuff he likes in addition to the main food theme.

Results are variable, non replicable and occasionally awful.

Omg, is this a man thing?! So many times if Dh ever makes anything, not often tbf as it’s bad 🙈he crumbles Oxo cubes on it?! On toast and all sorts…so weird

I love paprika but I wouldn't put it gravy!

Hide the lethal herbs and spices

Toast with marmalade?

I'm sorry, I love all kinds of foods, I'm generally quite adventurous and there are very few things I won't eat, but I would have to put my foot down there.

Gravy absolutely makes a roast and it doesn't NEED fucking with.

My nan used to secretly blend veggies into the gravy to help my fussy cousin eat more veg. It was generally lovely while it was roast-appropriate veg like carrots, broccoli, cabbage etc. It blended in well and didn't overpower the gravy flavour. But then one day she decided red pepper would be a good addition. :( it was a sad day.

Ahahaha my DP is like this!

Last week we had duck for lunch (a tin of confit duck) and when it all came out to the table I noticed a lump of something in the gravy (not even sure what sort of gravy). Upon questioning, he told me he quite fancied trying to make it kind of Chinese style, so had put honey in the gravy.

It was disgusting.

He also puts ginger in EVERYTHING - pasta, gravy, roast dinners.
See also - lemon.
And if we happen to have lemongrass in the fridge from when I've made a Thai curry or something, that also goes in anything and everything too (definitely interesting in a bolognese sauce...)

He says it's because he likes his food to have flavour... but sadly it's often just the wrong flavour.

You have my sympathy.

My DH is similar:

• likes to unnecessarily add fish sauce and/or mirin to all kinds of inappropriate things
• spends hours and hours cooking sonething complicated when, with a 3mo baby what we need is fast and vaguely healthy
• insists on buying expensive brands because they are "better" than indistinguishable own brand foods

Good idea. It's not worth the risk of ruining your dinner to be quite frank. You need a plan B at all times.

He says it's because he likes his food to have flavour... but sadly it's often just the wrong flavour.

Tell him if he can't appreciate the subtle flavours of good quality produce then he's clearly fucked his palate.

My ex husband used to do this. Pepper on toast. Vinegar in peas. Nope.

Obvs joking 🙄

Mine puts balsamic vinegar in everything, including gravy. And every time he cooks garlic, he burns it to bitter black tears.

Yeah, this sums the man up. He has a Popmaster spreadsheet as well, of course.

He fucked with the gravy?

Justified homicide or divorce are now options on the table. 😂

Short sharp No No No when he trys any shenanigans with the food.
You need to be straight with him, or hit him in the wallet when you order take away or another food shop.

My DP is odd with his food combinations at times, which is why it's cooked standard and then he can fuck about with his, or its cooked in different pots in which he can make merry with his but leave mine the fuck alone!

Bloody hell. You have my sympathy about him arsing about with the gravy.
I mean, WTF???

However, at least he does cook some edible foodstuffs too? I’d actually be very grateful for that but then my benchmark is exceedingly low.

I’ve been with DH for over 20yrs and he’s cooked dinner for me less than 5 times in total. He’s genuinely a shit cook and even when he followed a Nigel Slater recipe, the meal tasted disgusting, partly I think because he never tastes anything as he goes along.

He’s also a very fussy vegetarian (doesn’t eat a wide range of vegetables, won’t eat tofu, rice etc.), so isn’t actually interested in food and won’t go out for a meal as he thinks it’s a waste of money. He mostly lives on salad and salad derivatives as I’ve more or less stopped cooking meals for him and just cook for me and the kids.