The gravy fuckery has gone too far

[WillYouDoTheFandango]

I’ll start with saying we share the cooking but DP likes to cook the Sunday dinner (moved to Monday this week as we had time on our hands). He has proclaimed himself as a fabulous Sunday dinner chef. Second to none. He likes to throw in weird and wonderful shit into our food and I am expected to just go with it. I have had to start taking DS’ food out first, before DP adds loads of stuff to it or he won’t eat it.

He has started to fuck about with the gravy. It started with the beef gravy - onions, red wine, garlic powder, nothing too out there, pretty good results. But now he’s decided he’s going to perfect his chicken gravy.

We had a whole conversation about how much I hate rosemary. Next day, there it was, poisoning my gravy. I reminded him of my dislike but apparently “it goes with the chicken”.

Today we hit rock bottom though. My Yorkshire pudding was covered in bright orange, spicy gravy. When I asked why, I was told it was probably the paprika. 😫I mean where will it end? I’m either going to have to have a serious conversation about pre-warning me about what he’s throwing in or start joining DS in the bisto so I don’t end up with any more “surprises”.

And I know i could make it myself but any suggestions of that are taken as a personal insult to his cookery credentials. Anyone else living with a culinary innovator and not always enjoying the experience?

My partner fucks about with everything good in the world.

he knows I have an aversion to fruit with chicken. He marinaded my lovely corn fed chicken in oranges this weekend. Then stuffed it with orange stuffing then looked like a kicked pug when I pushed it round my plate. And he ruined my cabbage by dusting it with caraway seeds.

my cabbage likes butter. Not annoying seedy shit.

but OP, shit gravy? You have my sympathies. Messing with gravy deserves instant nut removal. And a dab of raspberry vinegar on the raw bit. Acceptable fruit with meat revenge.

He’s a psychopath, op. Time to leave the bastard and get your ducks in a row.

Cabbage is really nice with caraway seeds!

My husband does this with my mac and cheese.

Just follow my recipe!

I have a relative who insists on serving barely cooked root veg covered in honey with every roast dinner. They aren’t edible.

Why is he putting gravy on your food? I haven't put gravy on my KIDS food since they turned ten!

Nope. Four meals in 34 years. It drives me fecking mad. Not a bloody sandwich unless it comes out of a packet. If I complain he will go to the chippy. I now buy half our food from Marks.
OP rosemary is for lamb (sister / mother/BIL chefs).
Good luck or develop an allergy!

Interesting how often this is happening. I have had the "please find and follow a recipe" conversation too, more than once.
I don't understand why anyone would want to make a meal for someone that you knew very well they might dislike.

You have my sympathy too OP.

My absolute favourite gravy was my gran's. Until I got old enough to pay attention when it was being cooked - lard, flour, stock cubes, water and gravy browning. A sort of white sauce I guess. Still thick and delicious, but best not to think about the lard.

LTB

Nah with bacon bits and juniper

www.riverford.co.uk/recipes/cabbage-with-bacon-juniper

😂😂

I read what I think was a Gordon Ramsey recipe once which recommended crushing up tomatoes in gravy 🤢🤢

When my late OH was still around he used to buy a few ready meals from Waitrose or M and S, I often don't want an evening meal. He would then fanny around with it, add extras bits and then complain how bad it tasted!

My mother did this when I was a kid.

She once made shepherd's pie with apple mash and I'm still traumatised

Oh no! I've just realised I'm the culinary innovator in our house Do I need to apologise to DH and the DC?

And if we happen to have lemongrass in the fridge from when I've made a Thai curry or something, that also goes in anything and everything too (definitely interesting in a bolognese sauce...)

This is hilarious (as well as 🤢)

My Dh is a good cook generally but has been banned by the dc from ever making toad in the hole again, as he puts 'bracken' in it (sprigs of rosemary, thanks to bloody Jamie Oliver)

@WillYouDoTheFandango please show us the yorkshire pudding spreadsheet!!!! My quest for perfect yorkshires continues....

Yesterday's gravy was pork cooking liquid, pork cooked over a bed of onions and Apple's with white wine, thick
Knees with pork gravy granules,. It was a masterpiece. If I say so myself

Do YPs need more than flour, egg and milk beaten together in the right order and in the right proportions?

@GettingStuffed thick knees you say . Must give me the recipe .

Mine thinks he is a great cook but he isn't really. He has made some truly horrible things, but he is retired and I'm not so he does most of the cooking. I manage it by raving about the things he does well (liver and bacon amongst other things) by doing the more complicated cooking at the weekends, and by commenting frequently about overly-fancified dishes on menus and the telly to let him know what is acceptable (in my opinion) and what is not. We now have delicioud, or at least acceptable, good most of the time. He is free to make himself a different sauce or gravy if he wants!

Delicious.... And food!

If I'm not sure about his gravy/jus I have a taste and avoid sometimes 🙈😂

@Cantbebotheredanymore someone else was the YP spreadsheet. Not in this house. We are heathens who buy ready made.

And someone asked why he puts my gravy on, because we plate everything up in the kitchen and carry it through.