The gravy fuckery has gone too far

[WillYouDoTheFandango]

I’ll start with saying we share the cooking but DP likes to cook the Sunday dinner (moved to Monday this week as we had time on our hands). He has proclaimed himself as a fabulous Sunday dinner chef. Second to none. He likes to throw in weird and wonderful shit into our food and I am expected to just go with it. I have had to start taking DS’ food out first, before DP adds loads of stuff to it or he won’t eat it.

He has started to fuck about with the gravy. It started with the beef gravy - onions, red wine, garlic powder, nothing too out there, pretty good results. But now he’s decided he’s going to perfect his chicken gravy.

We had a whole conversation about how much I hate rosemary. Next day, there it was, poisoning my gravy. I reminded him of my dislike but apparently “it goes with the chicken”.

Today we hit rock bottom though. My Yorkshire pudding was covered in bright orange, spicy gravy. When I asked why, I was told it was probably the paprika. 😫I mean where will it end? I’m either going to have to have a serious conversation about pre-warning me about what he’s throwing in or start joining DS in the bisto so I don’t end up with any more “surprises”.

And I know i could make it myself but any suggestions of that are taken as a personal insult to his cookery credentials. Anyone else living with a culinary innovator and not always enjoying the experience?

DH once made corn muffins. The problem was we did not have the ingredients so he merrily subbed away.

He took them to a party. At the end of the night, the plate was still full except for one muffin that someone had taken a bite out of and put back on the plate to warn others. He listens to me now.

But you can’t eat peas without vinegar 🤮

Here is the original Spoonyfucker thread, in all its glory, @WendyWagon.

Never forgotten the time the Husband made a lovely curry and rice…………… then mixed the curry and rice together and put it in a casserole dish then put it into the oven to bake for an hour and a half.

It is indeed - and I don't even like marmite as a spread. I also use it in cottage pie.

I don’t let DH cook full stop, he f**ked around too much in the past and he has absolutely. I idea about complimenting or contrasting flavours and how to use them.

Think of me this evening my turn to cook. It's his precious line caught sea bass. Vegetable bits will be left alone his precious fish he'll hover over re the timings the skin side etc 🙈

My DF was into innovative breakfasts. Including rice krispies in the scrambled eggs.

Not so much with gravy but everything else! If my husband cooks, he makes very appreciative noises like everything is amazing, we also get interrogated as to how everything tastes, sometimes before we have even eaten the offending item. This weekends culinary delight was broccoli rice, which had a really weird cheese taste, couldn’t eat it, was weird, asked him if there was cheese in it and he said no just broccoli ginger and garlic 🤔
I feel your pain

Ask him to put it on the side in a jug and make yourself some chicken Bisto instead.

A cook should respect people's likes and dislikes.

I thought it was sage and onion for chicken, not rosemary. Rosemary for lamb surely?

Ah my dad did this when we were young- I used to flat out refuse in the end. It was full of kindness, spices, was always an odd colour- gravy madness!

There are plenty of chicken recipes out there which use rosemary it’s just not the traditional go-to herb. These things aren’t written in stone though.

We never hear the end of DP's fancy gravy. He says it's 'restaurant quality'. I just make the kids a jug of bisto and sneak that for them. He also has a theory that roasties should be done in rape seed oil as healthier and they apparently taste better. They do not. They taste dry and bland. So now I do roasties for my DD's and me (and secretly one of his DS's) done properly with salt and butter or even lard (ie taste) and he does his dull ones for him and his other DS (who is too young to rationally choose).

What is LTB?

Leave the bastard, often used lightheartedly in situations like this.

My sides are splitting with all this Heston Blumenthal apprentices

Yep he put some herbs in the pan with the fish while I was peeling the vegetables 🙄

I promise this isn’t a race to the bottom but mine did exactly the same but covered it in cling film… he baked it in cling film and forgot about it. I came home to a chargrilled cling film curry. And then the clown insisted we eat the bits that survived! Survived!
Nothing survives culinary carpet bombing. It was like a wave of anti-Nigel Slater bombers swept into my kitchen and pummelled my oven.

Mine puts star anise in everything. He knows I don't like it: just sneaks it in.

There's no hiding star anise. It's a good job that I like it 🙂 to t

My mil fucks about with food. It’s never the same meal. It’s either thick bland gravy with lumps or a soup made from rotten veg that she’s gathered up from the fridge vegetable crisper drawer and rung out the J cloth.
Dh fucks about with food too. I’ve left his dinners with a bit eaten before, because it was rank.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius
Thank you. I seem to have a turnoffthelightsfucker.
I agree MN has changed a lot since 2012. This thread has made me laugh. Not a lot of that about.

We have booked to go out for Christmas day lunch, got the menus this week and with the traditional turkey dinner they are serving.....walnut gravy!! Thinking of cancelling, the starters are odd too, onion bhajis for Christmas lunch or coconut and chilli butternut squah soup. I can get past the starters but not the walnut gravy, has anyone ever tasted it?

No but I can imagine it would be quite bitter. Unless they're offsetting the sourness with a couple of spoons of marmalade...