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Original poster

Is anyone not weeping in to their cuppa today?

178 replies

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 09/09/2022 10:02

Or is it just me? My colleagues are all in mourning and apparently can’t concentrate and do their work properly today and I’m all 😑 at the drama of them.

Don’t get me wrong Her Majesty was a legend and she did a really good job, but at 96 it’s hardly unexpected and I don’t think it warrants quite the level of drama some people seem to be displaying.

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 09/09/2022 11:14

I'm not weeping.. but I did have an almost sleepless night last night worrying about a huge event I have next weekend that is now possibly going to fall on the day of funeral and will of course be cancelled if it does.

The money wasted and problems that we'll face trying to rearrange makes me feel incredibly anxious.

tomissmymum · 09/09/2022 11:18

Inextremis · 09/09/2022 10:46

I agree with PPs - although I was fond of the Qween in an abstract sort of way, I didn't know her, and she certainly didn't know me. However, her death took me straight back to my Dad's death three years ago, and my Mum's some 30 years prior to that - and I cried. It's the sense of loss more than anything else, and the empathy for the grief of her friends and family. I certainly shan't be doing any performative grieving, but every so often I feel the need to have a little cry.

I fully understand that many people won't be feeling this way, just please don't mock those of us who do.

FlowersFlowers

thank you, I was beginning to worry I was being a bit daft ! Life of course carries on and I’m visiting a friend at 12 - but the chat about funeral, grieving, making a journey to visit loved one - all very raw still . Only six weeks ago I was running up to the very same part of the country for the same reasons .

Although I’ve spent a lot of time last few weeks feeling rather alone and there is a small comfort in realising actually, to grieve and mourn a death, any death, is a very natural normal human reaction .

FetlocksBlowingInTheWind · 09/09/2022 11:19

dontgobaconmyheart · 09/09/2022 10:57

Whilst I'm sure there are some that do simply enjoy the drama I think a lot of people are a bit obtuse to the fact that the heavy emphasis on loss, all the language relating to it and visible mourning everywhere you look can be surprisingly difficult for those who have experienced a loss/are actively grieving and we don't really ever know what someone's going through or has been through when it comes to this.

I don't hold the RF in hugely high esteem and wouldn't have thought I'd be specifically upset but it has been reminiscent of loss for me in a year of very painful grieving and also calls to mind all sorts of other memories off the back of feeling reminsicent, such as of my lovely nan who died when I was a teenager and loved the queen. Grief works in odd ways.

I'd just let people get on with it if they feel a need, nobody has to join in.

I agree with some of that. My mum died 4 years ago and I am still grieving for her. I have been thinking about her a lot since last night so I think my brain is tapping into similar emotional areas, even though it is a completely different situation.

I think it's perfectly ok to feel sad and even cry for what we have all lost. It is significant, though not everyone will see it that way. You don't feel the need-fine, kook away

FetlocksBlowingInTheWind · 09/09/2022 11:19

Look away * and keep quiet!

wishuponastar1988 · 09/09/2022 11:20

billysmallnuts · 09/09/2022 10:06

Me.

96 year old dies. Shrug. I was far more upset by the news of an unarmed black young man being shot by the police this week.

Me too.

centralsunnypark · 09/09/2022 11:20

I am sad. Because it reminds me how I once waved to her as her car drove by, and I was a school girl, and it makes me see how all those years have gone in a blink in my life and makes me reflect on my lfie

I am sad because it reminds me of my grandmother who had a nasty daughter -in- law who wanted her early demise and gran insisted she was going to live to 100. She died 101 .

I admire the Queen who did not choose to be Queen but by circumstances of the abdication, she became Queen and did her best. It reminds me of our own mortality. The Queen was always there. Prime ministers, presidents,come and go , but she was always there. So end of an era so it is sad.

Longdistance · 09/09/2022 11:22

My dm passed away on Tuesday. I loved the Queen, but quite frankly I’m saving my tears for my own mother.

Fatballs · 09/09/2022 11:24

It's a monumental event for the UK

A national day of mourning has been announced India.

Fatballs · 09/09/2022 11:25

*in India

Anon778833 · 09/09/2022 11:25

I can’t understand how people can be overly upset. We didn’t know her. From what people who did know her have said about her, she was generally a kind person who would never intentionally hurt anyone. However, she was massively out of touch - not realising, for example that it was not commonplace for people to have camcorders in the 30s.

Booklover3 · 09/09/2022 11:25

I am feeling a bit sad about it

Greyarea12 · 09/09/2022 11:29

tomissmymum · 09/09/2022 10:34

It’s a hit a raw nerve with some people; I was in floods of tears at 3am on the phone as my mum’s slowly going with early onset dementia, and have lost both my grannies now too, my mum’s mum just in July … and suddenly missed them all very, very much last night in a way I’d never have anticipated - hit a very raw nerve .

I certainly won’t really be telling anyone that in r/l as I’m not exactly a royalist although held an affection for the queen as a person . I think it will hit a nerve with quite a few people for similar reasons . Wasn’t crying so much for the queen as for the loss of yet another person ‘who’s always been there’, albeit rather in the background iysiwm !

@tomissmymum

I am the same. I have been in tears all morning (triggered by all the sad songs playing on radio) but not because of grief for the Queen but grief over my Dad. My Dad died 6 weeks ago and watching the Queens family rush to her and then being to late is very very similar to what happened to my siblings and its very raw for me. Knowing what her family are feeling right now aswell. This is the type of thing I would call my Dad about and just be saying .. oh you got the news on, have you heard etc. The Queen dying is sad, especially for her family with it happening so suddenly but I am upset today because of the raw emotions that are surfacing for me around my Dads death, who also had a very rapid decline.

So I agree that it will be hitting very raw nerves for people who have lost their parent/grandparent, particularly recently.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 09/09/2022 11:35

tomissmymum and Longdistance, I'm very sorry for both of you. Flowers

Popaholic · 09/09/2022 11:41

I can’t weep about a lady I didn’t know, who lived her best life, to a great age. I feel sympathy for her family, and I’m keen to be respectful of her passing and the fact that others wish to mourn, but when I heard the news and it only registered as information.

The thing that really made me sad was my little boy who is just 4, said “The Queen is dead. We don’t want her to be dead. We don’t want nanny to be dead either.” He was sad for about an hour, and I knew he was thinking about my beloved late mother who has gone away and not come back, and whose cuddles and laughter are very much missed.

So I’m sad for the royal family in their bereavement. Perhaps knowing that a huge number of people grieve with them, provides some comfort.

Hadjab · 09/09/2022 11:48

Definitely not weeping, wailing, or gnashing my teeth.

She was 96, she led a full and varied life, and she (hopefully) died surrounded by her family - why the grief? I'd be bloody ecstatic to go out like that.

Antiantichinus · 09/09/2022 11:49

I live in a colonised country and am employed our government. Some official meetings at my work place have been cancelled week because she was.our head of state. An absurd situation.

HailAdrian · 09/09/2022 11:53

Any excuse though. A colleague was asking if we'll be in today. We work in a pub ffs.

HailAdrian · 09/09/2022 11:55

A lot of people struggle with change though.

PlanetNormal · 09/09/2022 11:56

Certainly no mourning here. I’m no royalist, but I acknowledge that the Queen was a major historical figure and that her death is a moment of historical importance. That’s not a reason to get upset about the death of someone I never met, though.

ChildsFan · 09/09/2022 11:56

My Mum was crying and saying she feels like she's lost a family member. My Sister keeps checking if my Mum is ok in the family WhatsApp.

I'm a huge royalist and I'm a bit sad for the loss on various levels but I can't shed a tear for someone I don't know or love.

oxydant · 09/09/2022 11:57

couchcritter · 09/09/2022 10:07

I think it's hitting people because it's the end of an era; something that unconsciously felt permanent in life has now changed. We're also losing that entire generation now. My guess is that it reminds many people of their own mortality and losses in a way that's hard to shake off.

So while I'm not grief stricken myself, I'm not out to mock anyone else who's feeling a bit shaken or upset.

Exactly this. I lost my grandmother less than a year ago and it's brought it all back up.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 09/09/2022 11:58

I'm surprisingly triggered by it all.
I'm not crying or anything like that, but I am bothered by it. It has reminded me a lot of my grandma when she died. How we all felt, the horrible waiting period before the funeral. The little changes. The reminder of mortality etc.

Annoyingly my colleague is very unbothered by it so he doesn't get why I feel bothered.

User287264 · 09/09/2022 11:58

I'm not crying into my cuppa but feeling a bit anxious about my trip to the train station in Edinburgh today and then my weekend in London. Not in the best of health anyway so hoping it's not a million times more stressful than usual.

I felt sad yesterday but life goes on. Having a King won't make much difference to me.

oxydant · 09/09/2022 11:58

ChagSameachDoreen · 09/09/2022 10:28

Me! Honestly couldn't care less.

All this tripe about being reunited with Philip.

Sentimental guff. We're a nation of mawks and emotional incontinents. Social media is awash with it.

Your post sounds really emotional actually!

pompomdaisy · 09/09/2022 11:59

I find it puzzling that anyone is mourning some woman they never met!