I've messed up dd's uni

[SewhereIam]

Dd starts uni this year. She is sharing accommodation with her boyfriend. His family are more comfortably off than me, and paid the deposit and the first month's rent, which was incredibly kind.

I am on universal credit, and we break even every month. Dd informed me three days ago that they get the keys for their flat at the weekend, but term doesn't start for another month, and she doesn't receive any student finance until then either.

Dd wants to move in this weekend, and for me to get them their food shopping until term starts. She will also need money until her loan comes in. I can't afford it, I have £150 left in my bank account and more bills coming out on the 1st.

Her boyfriend gets a large stipend every month from his family, whereas dd doesn't. I feel like I have set her up to fail and have left her destitute and don't know what to do.

Bottoms.. put comment on wrong thread (numpty)

Absolutely not your fault at all. I understand that mum guilt can be horrible but not everyone can afford to help their children through uni. My parents didn’t. Her loan will help her when she gets it and perhaps you could have a little savings account to one side where you just put £20 per month or something if you can spare it so that if in future she comes to you when her loan has run out and money is tight you have a little bit you can send if you think she genuinely needs it but do not feel obligated or guilty if you can’t. I saw so many struggle to make the finance payments stretch the 4-5 months and need to ask parents for help but nearly all of them got jobs, lots of them got jobs on campus through the students union running the shops and foot outlets on campus. Ultimately she will be fine. Figuring out the financial side of things is all part of the experience, uni is like a practice run for real life and I’m sure she will do brilliantly but it is absolutely not your fault for not having the financial means to support her through it particularly with only a few days notice.

@SewhereIam she could apply for UC and get an advance to tide her over. Then when she gets her student finance through update UC claim with the loan income. She may even be entitled to a tiny bit of UC each month going forward.

Students are not entitled to universal credit with a few exceptions such as disability and claiming PIP/DLA or having a child.

The girl is not technically a student yet and students are expected to seek financial support through student loans, grants etc. However, students on UC should inform UC when they get student income and the UC claim will be amended to reflect this. I have done plenty student income calculations for students who have a UC claim. Sometimes they may even be entitled to a smallish sum each month depends on the individual circumstances and the amount of student income awarded.

My heart goes out to you, she has probably been caught out and is panicking, I would be completely up front and show her your finances, tell her you would love to help but you can’t. She just needs to be honest with boyfriend and definitely will need to find another pt job.

For all those saying the OPs daughter is choosing to move in early clearly dont have a clue how student housing contracts work.
They run September-July and uni term is mid sept- early oct-mid June .
Landlords want as much money as possible and she'd be very lucky to find an October to June contract ime as mum of uni students.
So she hasn't chosen this, it's just the way it is. OPs if youre on universal credit hopefully DD will get maximum student loan but this isnt paid until after enrollment. So there is often a gap of 2-4 weeks.
It's rubbish, it's not your fault you send like an amazing mum. I totally get the mum guilt.
I also understand how an 18 year old going to.uni and living away from home for the first time might not have realised this would happen.
Can her dad help.her out or other family member?
Has she applied for student bank account, they offer overdraft facilities but clearly need to be careful and not sure if overdraft works until loan comes in.
Could she explain situation to letting agent and pay a bit late , just for first month?
If desperate is there anything she can sell, put on ebay, do a boot fair?
Can she contact uni to see if they can offer any advice?
It's tough when her circumstances are so different from her BFs but that's no ones fault- it's life -but it is difficult.
She needs to budget very very carefully as soon as her loan comes through and try and get a part time job., start looking right now, hand out cvs in shops, bars, restaurants etc theres a lot of competition for part time jobs in student towns.
Good luck and I hope your DD loves uni after this bumpy start.

You don't understand any of the posts. I assume you didn't read them. OP's DD wants money for food. The rent is already covered by the bf. If OP's DD stayed home for the month then she wouldn't need a separate food budget for that month. It's nothing to do with rent or student housing contracts. And fwiw OP didn't specify it was a student housing contract.

To be harsh shes 18 and is now classed as adult
Her responsibilities are to feed herself etc. If they are living together as a partnership and not just flatmates, that's how it goes, you help each other and share
I know it's hard but she is independent now
X much love i do know it feels horrible when they go 💔

You are not in the wrong at all.

If she is normally very diligent and this is unusual, could there possibly be some pressure coming from BF/his family? Like ‘my family has done their bit now yours should too’?

The short notice seems really strange. Maybe they had an agreement with his family and it fell through, or she’s felt too bad to ask you until now. Equally, she could have got caught out with lack of planning and is panicking. But surely she was aware of your financial situation beforehand?

Tell her to look at an app called Stint - easy instant work for Uni students. Agencies are also good for quick pay.

Most student bank accounts come with a free overdraft as standard specifically intended to be used to cover the period between first month’s rent/hall fees due date and payment of first term’s Student Finance (loan).

If she sets up a student bank account she gets an interest free overdraft immediately (up to around £1500). She can use this to tide her over with start up costs until she gets part time work.

Free food from from the Olio food waste app

Reduced food from the Too Good To Go food waste apps

Collect from your local area

If she could get a job in a takeaway, restaurant or food shop she may be entitled to reduced or free food per shift

I would explain to her that your family doesn't have the same circumstances that her boyfriend's family has and help her apply for jobs if she doesn't know how. She's old enough to know how the world works and be responsible for herself if she's going to live like an adult (ie moving in with her boyfriend and renting a home).