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Original poster

Centreparcs with dss - dreading it

265 replies

nelle45 · 25/08/2022 22:41

We are going away to CP for 4 nights, me, dh, dd 10 & dss 14, we were going to go somewhere else but have decided on CP purely as its better for dss due to his age.

He never wants to participate in anything and honestly i am dreading this trip.

We prepped him and said if he feels he won't want to do anything then not to come and ruin it for us, as harsh as it sounds its true. It would be shit for dd and for us as there will be arguments. Plus we could've just gone to the first cheaper option which would've been fine for just us and dd.

He isn't allowed to bring his ps5 as he will be too distracted & stay up all night then not want to do the activities.

Another thing, dd & dss are half siblings snd will be sharing a room, this was the only option left so we figured a few days is ok, but if im honest i dont love the idea.

Is this just going to be a disaster??

OP posts:
justusandmoo · 26/08/2022 13:25

LilacPoppy · 26/08/2022 13:24

A lot of very very weird family dynamics on mumsnet. In the real world teen boys can manage not to masturbate on holiday ( at all) both siblings can change in the bathroom and few ten year old girls
are flooding the bed sheets on their period.
it very very normal for mixed sex siblings to share on holiday.

😂😂 love this reply. Totally agree. Mumsnet is like a different universe sometimes...

DragonsAndMoons · 26/08/2022 13:26

@LilacPoppy 100%

DragonsAndMoons · 26/08/2022 13:27

Also who the fuck gives up their bed and bedroom on holiday for a kid? I love my dc but no, I'm never going to sleep on a blow up bed as I'm an adult who paid for the holiday and they're a child and can share with their sibling.

Pookymalooky · 26/08/2022 13:27

WTF!!!!! You CANNOT have a 10yr old girl sharing a room with a 14 yr old boy! How do you ever think that’s ok? How embarrassing for him and frankly dangerous for her!
You say there was no option but actually there was, to just not book it.

justusandmoo · 26/08/2022 13:29

Pookymalooky · 26/08/2022 13:27

WTF!!!!! You CANNOT have a 10yr old girl sharing a room with a 14 yr old boy! How do you ever think that’s ok? How embarrassing for him and frankly dangerous for her!
You say there was no option but actually there was, to just not book it.

Dangerous?? What planet are you on? So basically you are saying that he'll rape her.

Honestly sometimes Mumsnet just blows my brain 🤯🤯

runforyourdog · 26/08/2022 13:30

That's a bit extreme @Pookymalooky!

aSofaNearYou · 26/08/2022 13:32

*Ok then let’s say adults aren’t allowed alcohol or their phones because by your reasoning they should be able to go 4 days without . Or go without what they enjoy doing the most because of some weird rule set by some middle aged women on the internet.

I can go without everything except for food, water and shelter - is that what holidays are about, endurance*

It would be more like saying an adult should spend their time on holiday watching hours of daytime TV or whatever they do to fill time at home. Yes it's something they like to do but doing it a lot on holiday is a waste of time and money.

DragonsAndMoons · 26/08/2022 13:34

Nice to know @Pookymalooky thinks all teenage boys are sex offenders!

Baoing · 26/08/2022 13:34

A lot of very very weird family dynamics on mumsnet. In the real world teen boys can manage not to masturbate on holiday ( at all) both siblings can change in the bathroom and few ten year old girls are flooding the bed sheets on their period

This.

Separately, I'm wondering what the OP really wants from this thread. I'd be reluctant to post anymore details of what teenagers do in the privacy of their rooms tbh.

Dahlietta · 26/08/2022 13:40

@Baoing , exactly what I was thinking 🤔

Cindie943811A · 26/08/2022 13:47

SS regs would not approve these children sharing when in foster care.
One does not regard every teenage boy as a potential sex offender but the fact is that some do have the potential and it is usually impossible to tell who is. Remember that sexual assaults are not about sex usually but about power.
Ive worked with charming teen age boys, some of whom are very fond of their sisters/half siblings, who, nevertheless have offended. Interacting with these young people it is difficult to imagine them offending but they freely admit it.
Its just not worth the never ending heartbreak that would follow.

MakingNBaking · 26/08/2022 13:53

Just have a girls room and a boys room.
It's not about whether the boy can live without masturbating 4 days, it's about privacy, respecting their feelings. I'm sure you and your partner can live with a 1am quickie in the bathroom for 4 days.
As for whether he joins in with activities, to tell him not to bother coming if he's not going to join in, well that's an awful stance to take.
Why don't you try "that came out wrong, we want you with us and get it if you don't want to do group stuff, you can stay in the lodge but it will be nice to have meals together, maybe use the pools. Once we're there, if there's anything you want to try we'll try to get it booked."

Thornethorn · 26/08/2022 13:53

Poor kid.

DragonsAndMoons · 26/08/2022 13:53

They're not in foster care. They are dc in a family environment and they're going on holiday. There is no reason whatsoever to believe the teen boy is a sex offender. If he was, he wouldn't need to wait for a family holiday to get his chance, the dd would already be groomed. However, children that display sexualised behaviour are usually being abused by their family so OP if you or your husband are sexually abusing your step son make sure you don't leave him alone with your dd.

shatitpleaseshanice · 26/08/2022 14:02

@Musti you are bonkers. Eating food and drinking alcohol are quite different to taking a Ps5 on holiday 😂

The whole point of a holiday is to spend time together. Try new things. Get out and about in different surroundings. If he literally just wants to sit inside gaming then why is he going? He can do that at home. My son loves gaming but wouldn't dream of suggesting taking his console on a holiday, it's just laughable.

Pp is right that it will cause issues in itself. It'll take over a TV in the lodge, there will be rows about time limits, he will be sulky when told to come off and join in with other activities. Just totally needless. If a kid can't go 4 days without his console then there is a real problem.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 26/08/2022 14:06

To add to what @Cindie943811A has said….
sibling sexual abuse is one of the more common types of sexual abuse within families and it is recognised that it is more common in an older male/young female sibling dynamic. This age in particular would make me question. Younger children I’d be happy sharing and 2 older teen/young adults I’d be happy sharing. The power dynamics between a 14 yr old and 10 yr old would make me question this particular scenario more.

Obviously most siblings would not harm each other, and parents make a choice about accommodation based on their own individual circumstances. sharing may be appropriate in some circumstances. However I think it is sensible for parents to be aware and consider these types of risk when making decisions about room sharing. I think maybe those who find this suggestion ludicrous need to consider that those raising it may have personal experience or work experience that informs their opinions on room sharing.

quite aside from all that it sounds like this particular teen would benefit from some of his own space both for privacy and because of the dynamics within this family that sound difficult.

Lunificent · 26/08/2022 14:11

If you must go to CenterParcs, I would:

  • have a boys and girls room with adults on lower bunk. I’d use the lounge as extra bedding space if possible. Then he won’t wake your daughter.
  • its a holiday therefore he should enjoy it. His enjoyment is his gaming. Allow his PS5 and let him sleep all day. Then you and those who are up get to enjoy activities with no grumbling.
  • Be more flexible regarding activities for him. Book them last minute, if possible, if he expresses an interest.
KettrickenSmiled · 26/08/2022 14:14

There's little point in digressing into whether DSS is likely to be a juvie sex offender, as OP isn't coming back.
She only posted so that PP could weigh in & commiserate with her evident dislike of her stepson & "aaaw, hun" her horrible "Is this just going to be a disaster??" attitude.

That hasn't happened, so I doubt she'll return.

NovaDeltas · 26/08/2022 14:18

Why are you even taking him? CP is for toddlers and middle class mums. It's dull as ditchwater for anyone else.

Waste of money taking someone who doesn't even want to go.

Baoing · 26/08/2022 14:22

Why are you even taking him? CP is for toddlers and middle class mums. It's dull as ditchwater for anyone else

Nope. My DC and their cousins (7 - 16) love it. We often see couples and adult friends groups there.

Suedomin · 26/08/2022 14:24

I don't see any problem at all in them sharing rooms. My son and daughter did the same on holidays, and thought nothing of it. They are not step siblings as some people are saying they are half siblings.
Re the holiday I think you should let him spend time alone if that's what he wants and if possible time one to one with his dad doing activities they would both enjoy. There is so much choice at center parks there must be something he would like. 14 is a very difficult age at that age my son changed from a lovely sociable boy into someone who slept until the afternoon if he could!

ddl1 · 26/08/2022 14:32

Why does he need to take part in the activities? He's 14 so can stay in the hotel room on his own, so is not preventing others from taking part in their chosen activities.

And to be honest, I don't see why he can't bring his playstation- this is a holiday not schoolwork.

feistyoneyouare · 26/08/2022 14:47

Suedomin · 26/08/2022 14:24

I don't see any problem at all in them sharing rooms. My son and daughter did the same on holidays, and thought nothing of it. They are not step siblings as some people are saying they are half siblings.
Re the holiday I think you should let him spend time alone if that's what he wants and if possible time one to one with his dad doing activities they would both enjoy. There is so much choice at center parks there must be something he would like. 14 is a very difficult age at that age my son changed from a lovely sociable boy into someone who slept until the afternoon if he could!

I really think levels of comfort in sharing a bedroom depend on family norms the rest of the year round. At 10 if I'd had a 14-year-old stepbrother I'd have hated to have to share a room with him. Different kids have different privacy needs.

DragonsAndMoons · 26/08/2022 14:51

He's not a step brother 🙄

SeemsSoUnfair · 26/08/2022 15:08

Lunde · 26/08/2022 12:42

Are you going to one of the overseas CP?

Is it the "Kids Cottage" as tbh the set up looks like it is meant for under 10s
www.centerparcs.eu/in-en/dc_cottages/c_premium/kids-cottage

It sounds as though you don't want to take him using words like "ruin" the holiday in advance. Why can't he choose to game for a couple of hours on holiday?

Are you wanting to leave him at home on his own while you go on holiday?

ds would have not been happy in that room at 10 never mind 14 sharing with a 10 year old sister! Think most teens would "ruin you holiday" if parents were so out of touch with teens they put them in that scenario.

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