Centreparcs with dss - dreading it

[nelle45]

We are going away to CP for 4 nights, me, dh, dd 10 & dss 14, we were going to go somewhere else but have decided on CP purely as its better for dss due to his age.

He never wants to participate in anything and honestly i am dreading this trip.

We prepped him and said if he feels he won't want to do anything then not to come and ruin it for us, as harsh as it sounds its true. It would be shit for dd and for us as there will be arguments. Plus we could've just gone to the first cheaper option which would've been fine for just us and dd.

He isn't allowed to bring his ps5 as he will be too distracted & stay up all night then not want to do the activities.

Another thing, dd & dss are half siblings snd will be sharing a room, this was the only option left so we figured a few days is ok, but if im honest i dont love the idea.

Is this just going to be a disaster??

Another thing, dd & dss are half siblings snd will be sharing a room, this was the only option left

Are you for real?
The only option left - my arse.
You had the option not to go. CP process are eye-watering - think of all the stuff you could have done & extra rooms you could have booked instead, if you'd opted for a staycation, or camping, or staying in a cheap chain hotel.

What possessed you to drag a reluctant 14 year old boy on a holiday that doesn't interest him, while informing him that he is being punished in advance by having his PS confiscated & expecting him to share a bedroom with a 10 year old girl?

Your attitude to the lad is coming over as poisonous.
You haven't given a moment's thought to what activities he might enjoy, not a moment's positivity or encouragement - in fact, you've just about told him you think he's a royal pain in the arse with your disgraceful "don't come if you are going to ruin it for us".
Could you advertise your dislike of him any more strongly? No wonder he doesn't want to do much when he's around you. HE IS A CHILD & you are treating him like an inconvenient afterthought instead of encouraging him to have a good time with his own family.

Maybe leave him at home to sweep your hearth while dressed in rage?

Well CP may not have bunk beds but some of the lodges definitely have gaming consoles! My DC’s take their gaming laptop and Nintendo Switch on holiday. We’re away at the moment and they’ve had a nice little play on them this morning and have been in the pool for the past hour…stop making life hard and let your DC do what they enjoy on holiday (as long as it’s not hurting them or anyone else)!!!

I went to CP when I was 27. I shared a bunk bed with a friend, who was also an adult. Moral of the story is, adults can sleep in bunk beds.

It's even more bloody odd to manufacture the faux-naive -
I am fully aware of what the possible options are but curious as to why specifically you think it is inappropriate for them to share

So damn odd I wonder if OP is teasing ...

We cant share its bunk beds. Again only option available as peak season.

So they will need to share which means he will interrupt her if he is gaming which is why its a no no.

Well aren't you the gift that keeps on giving OP.
Since when has there been an age restriction on bunk beds?
You're just making excuses, because you don't want to put yourself out.

usually because he wants to sleep due to gaming all night which infuriates me!
Then why have you or DH not simply made a rule that says the PS goes away at X 'oclock every night?
The fact that DSS is knackered from gaming all night is your responsibility as parents. Again - he is still a child. Why are you & DH allowing this? It is seriously shit parenting - as is the blaming DSS for your lack of supervision.
Surely the solution is to allow him the PS on holiday, but limit his usage.

I’m at CP right now with 11 and 14 yo. 14 yo has done quite a lot of activities, 11 yo less so. They don’t really get along and I’ve decided to go with the flow, and if they each do one thing a day I’m not forcing the rest… their life at home is pretty scheduled with school and I’m accepting that at this age, they want different things to younger kids. Both have screens which I’d love them to be on less but I figure if that’s how they fill the gaps between activities so be it.

ive had some lovely moments of connection with each of them and I figure that’s what we will remember, not over scheduled activities.

CP is also so safe you can let the 14yo do his own thing.

If it's only 'for a few days' then either your or your DH need to go in one of the bunk beds. At that age there is no way I'd have been wanting to share with one of my brothers, in fact, in situations like that my parents slept with the same sex sibling.

Or, one of them has their own room, the other parent sleeps in with the sibling and the final parent can sleep on the sofa. Since it's a few days that shouldn't be an issue.

Growing up we were allowed to take our PlayStation but only allowed to play on it together for an hour or two after dinner and it was unplugged during the day.

I agree with the posters that have said you've set your DSS up to fail already. You're expecting it to fail, you're going into this with a negative mindset and I think no matter what this holiday is going to go badly.

It really does feel as if you don’t want him to come, we have just been camping with our 10 and 14 yr old. The 14 yr old changed her mind about doing one of the paid activities. We didn’t force her, she came and watched but didn’t want to do it, it’s their holiday as much as ours. We also try not to make them share a room. Although we are going away in October and they are happy to share ( we will continue to check this is still the case as we get closer) . It does sounds as if he will not be able to do anything he wants as it will infuriate you. Can’t be being his ps5 with an understanding that he will be limited to the times he can go on it?

Are you going to one of the overseas CP?

Is it the "Kids Cottage" as tbh the set up looks like it is meant for under 10s
www.centerparcs.eu/in-en/dc_cottages/c_premium/kids-cottage

It sounds as though you don't want to take him using words like "ruin" the holiday in advance. Why can't he choose to game for a couple of hours on holiday?

Are you wanting to leave him at home on his own while you go on holiday?

This thread is bonkers.

My ds is 15, he is not allowed to bring his ps5 on holiday. He also shares a room with dd 16 or one of them can sleep on the sofa. The same sex guidelines are for bedrooms in council houses. It's not a law, it's a guideline for sharing a bedroom that you live in, not on a holiday. Oh and they're half siblings with different dads.

OP I find my teens revert back to being proper children when on holiday with no real tech apart from phones. Get him in the swimming pool every day, book a few cool activities and maybe put dd to bed in your room and then move her when you want to sleep to give him a few hours to himself if that's what he wants.

Can't you share with your DD, and your DH share with your DSS?

I agree with PP, sharing a room is not the end of the world especially if they have agreed to it. My dd's all shared a room when we went on holiday last when they were 18, 16 and 10 (to be fair all girls, but younger being half sibling) but they were absolutely fine.
Hopefully when you actually get there he will throw himself into activities with a bit of encouragement. My dd's seem to spend half their lives on tiktok etc at home but are up for having a nice time on holiday.
Go with a positive attitude and hopefully you will all have a nice time.

You said your going to CP for DSs sake, but did he even want to go away anywhere in the first place? If so why force him? Leave Dh and dss and his mum to sort out arrangements for his care whilst you n dad go away and enjoy yourselves

Adults can sleep in bunk beds. I wouldn’t make them share a room.

Why are you baffled as to the reasons people believe this? If you don't agree then each to their own but people have shared many on the thread so I'm baffled as to you being baffled...

Really inappropriate to have a 14 year old boy share with a 10 year old girl. I don't care if they are half siblings. At 10 I would not have felt comfortable sharing a room with my older brother, thankfully I was never expected to..

Not sure why he can't take his PS5 either? Its his holiday too, he should be allowed to do what he enjoys. If he doesn't want to do the activities so what? Surely works out cheaper & everyone gets a bit of what they want.. . my brothers definitely brought their Nintendo - it was definitely present for the whole family if you ask me 😂

Ok then let’s say adults aren’t allowed alcohol or their phones because by your reasoning they should be able to go 4 days without . Or go without what they enjoy doing the most because of some weird rule set by some middle aged women on the internet.

I can go without everything except for food, water and shelter - is that what holidays are about, endurance??

There's usually a bed settle in the lounge. Could he not sleeon there? I would let him take it if it makes him happy. Just take it off him at say 10pm. Hopefully he will make a friend and enjoy it.

absolutely no way would I have a 14 year old boy and 10 year old girl sharing especially not bloody siblings. He needs his privacy! Dads and lads in the bunk beds and mums and daughters in the double.

You do lots of activities and wear him out. That said my DS was probably this age when we went to CP and we went with friends who had DC the same age. The older boys hated it, were a nuisance and found the activities (quad biking and paint balling) boring and very "safe". They do sound fun, but they said they weren't like real quad biking and paint balling. very dumbed down.

That should be bed settee dam spellcheck.

I have a 14 year old DS. We are just back from France on a holiday which was centered around what he said he wanted to do. Guess what? He mostly just wanted to go swimming and then sit in the air conditioning and look at his phone. So I just let him. He said he had a good time. You can't enforce your idea of fun on a teenager.
Hormonal 14 year olds aren't making the same sort of judgements grown ups are. Everything is an embarrassment to them. They are overly self conscious. Just let him do his thing within reason and you go and enjoy it. If you are cross with him already you are setting yourself up for a fail.

I find it strange so many people take a console on holiday with them. I’ve never known that. Surely he can survive with a phone/tablet for a short break? We’ve took a Switch before which can be handheld or used as a console but I’d consider that a mobile device. Lugging a PS on holiday seems like hard work.

I feel sorry for your step son, it doesn’t sound like you or your husband are bothered about him being there. You’re disingenuous to say you chose the holiday for him. Sitting him down and giving him a warning before you even go isn’t very encouraging. There’s activities at Center Parcs that should interest him, if not he can swim or bike, use the arcades.

@wellhelloitsme yeah ok...

Give the kids a room each, use the lounge yourselves. Take a blow up mattress and the one from the unused bunk bed. Or use the couch. It won't be great, but it won't kill you for a few nights. And secretly take the playstation and produce it either as a last day reward, or if you have to.

A lot of very very weird family dynamics on mumsnet. In the real world teen boys can manage not to masturbate on holiday ( at all) both siblings can change in the bathroom and few ten year old girls
are flooding the bed sheets on their period.
it very very normal for mixed sex siblings to share on holiday.