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Original poster

Centreparcs with dss - dreading it

265 replies

nelle45 · 25/08/2022 22:41

We are going away to CP for 4 nights, me, dh, dd 10 & dss 14, we were going to go somewhere else but have decided on CP purely as its better for dss due to his age.

He never wants to participate in anything and honestly i am dreading this trip.

We prepped him and said if he feels he won't want to do anything then not to come and ruin it for us, as harsh as it sounds its true. It would be shit for dd and for us as there will be arguments. Plus we could've just gone to the first cheaper option which would've been fine for just us and dd.

He isn't allowed to bring his ps5 as he will be too distracted & stay up all night then not want to do the activities.

Another thing, dd & dss are half siblings snd will be sharing a room, this was the only option left so we figured a few days is ok, but if im honest i dont love the idea.

Is this just going to be a disaster??

OP posts:
justusandmoo · 26/08/2022 11:42

Baffled by the comments saying they shouldn't share a room. Why not...?

Sswhinesthebest · 26/08/2022 11:42

Drivebye · 26/08/2022 11:38

I haven't read the whole thread but please please do not let your DD share with him. He needs to go on a sofa bed or take a blow up mattress for the living area.

Madness.

RedHelenB · 26/08/2022 11:43

RogueV · 25/08/2022 23:07

Really inappropriate for a 10 year girl and 14 year old boy to share bedroom esp step siblings 😵‍💫

I’m an adult and perfectly capable of sleeping in a bunk bed.

Strange thread.

Half siblings not step siblings.

justusandmoo · 26/08/2022 11:44

AngelsWithSilverWings · 26/08/2022 11:32

Why on earth can't siblings share a room on holiday? We usually try to arrange separate rooms for our DS 16 and DD14 but sometimes we have to compromise with two bedroom accommodation instead of three. On our recent holiday they shared a twin hotel room next to our's. Wouldn't occur to me that's it's inappropriate. Certainly wouldn't be expecting a call from SS! They use the bathroom for getting changed.

Agree. I don't understand these comments. Would it be different if they were full siblings? Genuinely interested as I have three girls (my daughter and two step daughters) so perhaps I'm missing something?

feistyoneyouare · 26/08/2022 11:48

justusandmoo · 26/08/2022 11:42

Baffled by the comments saying they shouldn't share a room. Why not...?

Errm, because many children and (most?) teens feel private about their bodies and should be able to maintain that privacy?

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 11:50

Drivebye · 26/08/2022 11:38

I haven't read the whole thread but please please do not let your DD share with him. He needs to go on a sofa bed or take a blow up mattress for the living area.

Why does he have to sleep on the sofa

The poor boy has already been made to feel unwelcome by the OP on this trip

Ffs people on here are bonkers

MrsRinaDecker · 26/08/2022 11:50

I think those ages aren’t ideal for room sharing and would do anything to avoid it (including dad on bottom bunk if necessary).
I think letting him take the console would be better for harmony, especially if it’s his way to decompress (I mean, I’m an introverted adult, and I sometimes find too much people time can be remedied by hiding in my phone for a bit).
Suggest and encourage him to participate in activities, but don’t force it. Divide and conquer so he gets some one on one time with his df. I agree with getting him to choose some of his favourite snacks / treats to take - just little things to make him feel valued.

justusandmoo · 26/08/2022 11:51

@feistyoneyouare fair enough. I'm just surprised people can afford separate rooms
for all of their kids when they go on holiday. We certainly couldn't. I always shared with my sibling when we went away even into our teens. That was half the fun!

Januarytoes · 26/08/2022 11:53

We have had this exact situation, plus a grandparent who came with us and the kids didnt want to share a room with the GP.

It depends on the kids.
Allow the PS5, that's silly not to. That's what he wants to do on holiday. He will have to stop or be quiet on it when you go to bed as he will be noisy talking to his mates.

Put a mattress in the living room and get DS to sleep on it or put the mattress in your double room and get DD to sleep on it.

Center parc does have bunk beds but you can still move the mattresses if you want to.

Just chill, let him do what he wants to do, don't pay for any activities he doesn't actually want to do, they are expensive and if he doesn't come with you to the pony riding or whatever then that's up to him. At 14 he can choose and you will probably find that your daughter doesn't want to do stuff with you when she's 14 either...

As for DSS/DD sharing a room, I would provide separate rooms for them as described. Your DD should have her own place to sleep. We did that for our blended family (a girls bedroom and a boys bedroom) but in fact they all wanted to hang out together and giggle and play cards until late except youngest DS who doesn't always like to be touched and won't share a room with anyone. He would giggle and play cards but go to his own bed to sleep.

You never know, DSS might take DD to the swimming pool while you chill in the villa with DH!

Wartywart · 26/08/2022 11:54

He's too young to be able to confidently say no to a holiday with his dad (note how many adult mn'ers find it difficult to turn down hideous wedding invitations) but at the same time, a bit too old to be comfortable sharing a room with his 10 year old sister. You need to be the grown-up here and let him share with his dad. If that means you or dad sleeping in a bunk bed then so be it (unsure why you think adults can't sleep in bunks?).

Poor boy probably worried about saying no to a holiday, and all along you didn't want him anyway.

wednesday32 · 26/08/2022 11:55

I would recommend changing your outlook on this holiday as it appears you are already annoyed with him and the holiday has not even started yet. You mention you booked the holiday as it was well suited to him, then retracted that by saying he won't want to do any of the activities, which is it?
It is his holiday too, he should be able to decide how he spends his holiday, not being told what to do by other people. Even grown adults differ in opinion as to how they like to relax and spend their time. I would bring the PS5, and agree set hours in which it can be used set up in the Livingroom. Agree to an activity per day to all do together plus meals together, then allow him some free time to relax and explore. I wouldn't have them share a room for obvious reasons that really do not need spelling out but as you have booked accommodation to suit that, then you will have to go with that now.

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 26/08/2022 11:57

10 years into a blended family and you don't like your step son, do you OP?

AlexandriasWindmill · 26/08/2022 11:59

How is CP 'for him' when you think he won't enjoy it? I wouldn't book CP 'for a teen'. We went when the DCs were younger.
Your DD and DSS can't share a room. That's non-negotiable. You share with DD. Or someone sleeps on the sofa in the sitting room.
Your approach is nonsense. I hope the thread is too.

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 26/08/2022 11:59

10 years that should say

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 26/08/2022 12:00

why won't the thread post 10 in numerals? Hmm

RainWindandSnowFlakes · 26/08/2022 12:05

I would let him bring his ps5 too. And just come to be with his family 😊 Teenagers, they kind of grow out of it, eventually

PuppyMonkey · 26/08/2022 12:10

This thread is gold. So much to it - bunk bed scepticism, wanking boys and all at Center Parcs Thanks everyone.Grin

I have no sons but I had two brothers and would sooner have slept in the car than share a room with either of them when i was ten.

shatitpleaseshanice · 26/08/2022 12:10

Op is perfectly entitled to dislike a surly, ungrateful teenager regardless of whether he's biologically hers or not. My own tween irritates the life out of me but apparently that's allowed because I gave birth to him.

PuppyMonkey · 26/08/2022 12:11

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 26/08/2022 12:00

why won't the thread post 10 in numerals? Hmm

You just did! Grin

Musti · 26/08/2022 12:13

You’re setting him up to fail. Go through the activities with both kids and get them to choose x amount each, also let them choose where to eat one time each type of thing.

I would let him bring his ps5 but have times when it is ok to use it. If that’s what he really enjoys doing then it’s not much of a holiday if he’s not allowed to use it. Plus I would imagine a lot of his social life is on there?

teens are like that but they’re still kids . Don’t worry too much if they would rather do some stuff and not others.

Lindjam · 26/08/2022 12:15

I agree with PP - you are setting DSS up to fail.

let him take his PS5.

Don't have the half siblings sharing - either DH sleeps on bottom bunk with DSS or you do with DD - why is this a problem?

You massively lower expectations of how much participation there will be. Most teenagers would rather pretend they have no parents at all than be seen out and about en famille.

Ziegfeld · 26/08/2022 12:18

I can’t believe how many people think it’s a good idea to bring a PS5 on an expensive four day holiday.

If a teenager cannot live without a PS5 for four days there’s something seriously wrong with them, and the parenting.

The OP might gain in the very short term in that the teenager will have his addiction fed and be to some extent placated, but it will only lead to other problems - there will be rows about what time it will be turned off, how much noise he makes, what time he gets up and eats as a result of staying up too late playing it.

I would give him the simple choice - come without PS5 and join in, or stay at home with it.

It’s very middle aged to say this but teenagers for thousands of years grew up fine without PS5s, and in many parts of the world they still do.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 26/08/2022 12:23

OP thinks that her DSS is going to 'ruin' the holiday by being miserable and not taking part, so this thread contains suggestions of how to help him have a nicer time.
Not sharing a bedroom with a half-sister, some gaming time, and a bit of choice around what activities he participates in are some simple things they can do to try to ensure he has a nice holiday. It's not ten commandments for life FFS.

Baoing · 26/08/2022 12:24

Given the OP's wide-eyed wonderment at why people object to the DC sharing a room, and the race to the bottom of wondering about how often the average teenage masturbates, I wonder if we're feeding someone's desire for genuine information, or something else entirely.

SueSaid · 26/08/2022 12:26

Your dh should sleep on the sofa, you share with your dd and your dss has a room and privacy.

It's the very keast when you book a holiday that you ensure there are enough bedrooms. Different sex older siblings should not have to share.