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Original poster

Centreparcs with dss - dreading it

265 replies

nelle45 · 25/08/2022 22:41

We are going away to CP for 4 nights, me, dh, dd 10 & dss 14, we were going to go somewhere else but have decided on CP purely as its better for dss due to his age.

He never wants to participate in anything and honestly i am dreading this trip.

We prepped him and said if he feels he won't want to do anything then not to come and ruin it for us, as harsh as it sounds its true. It would be shit for dd and for us as there will be arguments. Plus we could've just gone to the first cheaper option which would've been fine for just us and dd.

He isn't allowed to bring his ps5 as he will be too distracted & stay up all night then not want to do the activities.

Another thing, dd & dss are half siblings snd will be sharing a room, this was the only option left so we figured a few days is ok, but if im honest i dont love the idea.

Is this just going to be a disaster??

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 25/08/2022 22:43

Yes. He doesn't want to come, you're not letting him do the main thing he enjoys doing, and you're forcing him to share a room with a 10yr old girl.

You're setting him up to fail.

cestlavielife · 25/08/2022 22:46

Let him take his ps5 and do his own thing
Why shouldd he participate? Just dont pay fir his sctivities
He is 14 he can stay in the lodge
Do dinbeds together
Entice him to the pool
Dont make dd and dss share
You with dd
Dad with dss

toomuchlaundry · 25/08/2022 22:47

Can you share with DD?

Will he be happy doing his own thing at the pool?

Lavendersummer · 25/08/2022 22:47

why don’t you share with Dd and your DH with DS?
Also if he doesn’t want to come then DH can stay with him I would think.
Ask him to pick two activities he would like to do.
Also food and snacks he would like.

Axahooxa · 25/08/2022 22:50

Will you take your DD away on holiday when she’s 14 and behaving in a similar way? This is normal teenage behaviour- 14/15 is peak annoying/non-compliant time!

What can you change to make it better for him? I’d definitely let him take his PlayStation. He’ll feel lost without it if it’s what he’s used to.

Leave him to sleep in every morning til at least midday and do fun activities with your daughter. Then go for a nice lunch together or something, then optional laid back afternoon together. Leave him in the accommodation if he prefers to chill. Then nice dinner together, and maybe a movie with his dad.

let him stay up late in the living room and you can be in your room?

Axahooxa · 25/08/2022 22:52

@Lavendersummer I love your ideas:

Ask him to pick two activities he would like to do.

Also food and snacks he would like.

You’ll make him feel valued and looked after, which may make him more likely to be slightly more compliant!

babytum · 25/08/2022 22:54

Not allowing the PS 5 is obviously a good idea. The sharing of the room is a bad idea. A bit of space always helps.
Is there not an option to turn the living room couch into a bed and one of the kids or yourselves sleep there. You know his personality and what sets him off so maybe see what you can do to manage that for the 4 days to have as positive of an experience as possible.
Holidaying with teenagers is hard work, I set expectations before we go. Usually I say I expect everyone to be up by a certain time, come out for activities for whatever length of time, join for dinner etc. Nothing exceptional but everything achievable. And try not to get too worked up if things don’t go to plan

calmlakes · 25/08/2022 22:55

I'm not sure making a 14 year old boy share a room with 10 year old girl and step- siblings is a great idea.
At least at 14 you can let him do his own thing a fair bit.
But I might have you and dd in one room and dss and DH in the other.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 25/08/2022 22:55

Ime offer to alternate with dss.. Join in 1 thing. Opt out another.. He is 14 op. Be realistic! We are camping for 4 days. Dd 15 is joining us for 1 night.

ScarlettOHaraHamiltonKennedyButler · 25/08/2022 22:56

In 4 years your DD might be the same will you want to leave her behind and go on holiday?

My 9 year old moans about everything and is never happy but we just deal with it because he is our child so we have to.

Just be honest and admit you only want to take your DD.

Let him take his playstation and share the room with DH.

Original poster
nelle45 · 25/08/2022 22:56

We cant share its bunk beds. Again only option available as peak season.

So they will need to share which means he will interrupt her if he is gaming which is why its a no no.

Also what is the point in
a) going to cp which was more for him
&
b) him gaming all day. He can do that at home.

Imo we gave him the option he couldve said no to coming.

I've booked him activities that he said he will like but we have this here, i am forever booking things for him that he has either agreed to or actually asked me/us to book then changes his mind on the day, usually because he wants to sleep due to gaming all night which infuriates me!

OP posts:
Musicalmaestro · 25/08/2022 22:58

There is plenty of activities to suit a 10 year and 14 year old eg archery, and you and your DP can potentially go and do different things with each child.
Agree with other posters, and not make them share a room at this age.

Original poster
nelle45 · 25/08/2022 23:00

babytum · 25/08/2022 22:54

Not allowing the PS 5 is obviously a good idea. The sharing of the room is a bad idea. A bit of space always helps.
Is there not an option to turn the living room couch into a bed and one of the kids or yourselves sleep there. You know his personality and what sets him off so maybe see what you can do to manage that for the 4 days to have as positive of an experience as possible.
Holidaying with teenagers is hard work, I set expectations before we go. Usually I say I expect everyone to be up by a certain time, come out for activities for whatever length of time, join for dinner etc. Nothing exceptional but everything achievable. And try not to get too worked up if things don’t go to plan

That's a good idea re expectation, we'll try that

OP posts:
lunar1 · 25/08/2022 23:00

Those are really uncomfortable ages for mixed sex half siblings to be sharing a room. Why can't one of you sleep on the bottom bunk.

I do agree with what someone else said, he's being set up to fail. I can't believe you actually said for him not to come if he will ruin the trip.

Walnutwhipplease · 25/08/2022 23:00

Holidays this summer with slightly younger DS....

He needs his own space so we found times to let him have the place to himself/go back to the hotel room while we stayed out etc.

Would definitely reconsider the rooms if poss.

He was allowed to stay up later and have breakfast in bed as a treat and long lie ins. That's his enjoyment/holiday!

Come up with a couple of things he might enjoy and you can entice him with ... Cinema, pizza/fancy burger out, arcade afternoon (if anywhere nearby).
Might not be your first choice but might appeal to a teenager. Otherwise don't force him to join in but let him know he is welcome.

My thinking would be don't ban the gaming!! Not fun for any of you. If he needs to find different ways to spend his time the holiday isn't the time to fix that.

SummerInSun · 25/08/2022 23:01

You need to stay right out of this and your DH needs to deal with his son. He has to be the one setting the rules, making DSS go to things if he's previously agreed to do things, and making expectations clear.

But as PP have said, the expectation he'll do everything and you'll all stick together is flawed, especially given the age and gender gap between the kids. You should definitely do some diving and conquering where you do some things with just DD and your DH does things with just DSS. That would happen even if you weren't a step family. My sons are nearly 4 years apart and the reality is that while we try to do things like meals together, there will always be things the older one wants to do and can do that the younger one can't yet.

cestlavielife · 25/08/2022 23:01

Why cant adults sleep in a bunk bed?
That mskes no sense

(Which center parks has bunk beds? )

Awakened22 · 25/08/2022 23:02

Not sure why bunk beds make a difference - dad and son in the bunk beds, you and daughter in the other room. Yes, it’s not ideal but neither is a 14 year old sharing with his 10 year old step-sister.

Give him the option to sit-out the free activities - swimming, walk or cycle round the park, playground etc but set the expectation about him doing the paid activities.

Original poster
nelle45 · 25/08/2022 23:03

lunar1 · 25/08/2022 23:00

Those are really uncomfortable ages for mixed sex half siblings to be sharing a room. Why can't one of you sleep on the bottom bunk.

I do agree with what someone else said, he's being set up to fail. I can't believe you actually said for him not to come if he will ruin the trip.

I agree re awkward ages, but there really wasnt another option, we asked them and they said ok as its only a few days.

Well dh didnt word it like that. He basically said i get you're a teenager and dont feel pressured to go etc, along those lines.

OP posts:
MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler · 25/08/2022 23:03

Don’t make them share that is so inappropriate!!!

Musicalmaestro · 25/08/2022 23:05

It’s good that he won’t be able to game all night.
You may be able to help him keep to UK time at least… possibly see positives in exploring other activity options

WhoopItUp · 25/08/2022 23:06

Why can’t you sleep in a bunk bed?

Sometimeswinning · 25/08/2022 23:07

Bunkbed is a rubbish excuse! They are 10 and 14. What is actually wrong with you and dh to think that's OK?

Bibbetybobbity · 25/08/2022 23:07

Agree that you can’t let them share- that’s (at best) a recipe for disaster. Each child needs to share with their respective parent.

RogueV · 25/08/2022 23:07

Really inappropriate for a 10 year girl and 14 year old boy to share bedroom esp step siblings 😵‍💫

I’m an adult and perfectly capable of sleeping in a bunk bed.

Strange thread.