Centreparcs with dss - dreading it

[nelle45]

We are going away to CP for 4 nights, me, dh, dd 10 & dss 14, we were going to go somewhere else but have decided on CP purely as its better for dss due to his age.

He never wants to participate in anything and honestly i am dreading this trip.

We prepped him and said if he feels he won't want to do anything then not to come and ruin it for us, as harsh as it sounds its true. It would be shit for dd and for us as there will be arguments. Plus we could've just gone to the first cheaper option which would've been fine for just us and dd.

He isn't allowed to bring his ps5 as he will be too distracted & stay up all night then not want to do the activities.

Another thing, dd & dss are half siblings snd will be sharing a room, this was the only option left so we figured a few days is ok, but if im honest i dont love the idea.

Is this just going to be a disaster??

I have both full siblings and half siblings, there is no difference sharing a room with a half sibling or a full sibling. They are still siblings. They aren't step siblings.

Would people really let a child bring a Playstation and game their way through a family holiday?? I am so surprised to read so many suggestions allowing him to bring it.

@nelle45 Teenagers are hard work. I wouldn't let him bring the PlayStation but equally don't let his moods spoil your holiday...just do as your planning to do and if he joins in then he joins in, if he sits in the lodge sulking then he does that. Don't let him put a dampener on the weekend, sometimes the best thing you can do with teens is just give them space and let them wallow!

No way would I put a 10 year old Girl in a room with a 14 year old Boy,
That boy will be having the usual sexual feelings of a teenager and your willing to Chance leaving your you daughter with him. Wow.
Your Dh can sleep with his son, and lump it.
i know for a fact you could get in to major trouble with SS for this rooming arrangement.

Even at CP, there will be 'dead' time. You'll not be dashing madly from one activity to from breakfast time to bedtime. I'd think again about a complete embargo.
Nothing worse than dragging a peevish teenager around. What about a compromise? He's out with you until after lunch, then he can go back to the room until dinner. All go out for dinner. No more ps for the day.

Bollinder they are brother and sister FFS. And yes if it was a permanent arrangement but not a holiday!

They doesn't mean they'll like it.

I would be tempted to

• not make them share
• let him take the PS but have some time limits on it.
• insist on meals together and 1 or 2 family activities but let him do his own thing the rest of the time.

He is a 14 year old boy. Please make him feel like you want to spend time with him. It doesn't sound like you do, or at least I'm sure it doesn't to him. You can't make him 10 again.

You can always just let him go off to the pool by himself if he doesn't want to do the activities, well old enough.

I'd also give him the option of taking his bedding and crashing on one of the couches if he wants. Or our daughter if she's more likely to get up in the morning.

You really can’t make/expect 10 year old girl and 14 year old boy half siblings to share a room.

I'm quite alarmed at making two different sex step siblings share a room - the girl is entitled to privacy from boys.

@VickyEadieofThigh if you improved your reading comprehension there would be no need for alarm. They are blood siblings not step siblings at all.

He's 14, not 17, and it sounds like you gave him the choice of coming and chose somewhere specifically to ensure he had a good time. Your DP needs to ensure he is inluded/not disrupting.

Totally agree they shouldn't share a bedroom. It's a terrible idea. DSS with his dad and DD with you.

A hard no to the PS5. And not sure why your DP thinks it's healthy for a 14yo to be up all night on it at home.

Who poked YOU with the pointy stick and made you so aggressive this morning?

I grew up with no privacy from my 2 brothers, in a 2 bed room house. Girls need privacy from boys, even if (and we were) full siblings. My point remains.

Now go and have a coffee or whatever calms you down.

I don't think the kids sharing a room is a good idea.

No Playstation on vacation.

This whole getaway sounds forced. Time and $ wasted, I'm afraid.

He's coming and it's up to the adults to do everything they can to make it work. Surely sharing your bed with your daughter is OK? DH on bottom bunk. Tell DSS, if you book what he asks for, and he doesn't do it, he pays. Also offer not booking an activity as an option - but he can do the freebies with or without you as he chooses. Then he is not forced to do anything.

You are absolutely sabotaging him - to what end? So that you can sit around at the end and say ‘see I told you so. He’s never coming on holiday again’.

Im a SM - it’s hard, very hard. And my sympathies are normally completely with the step parent, but not in this instance.

Talk about your expectations but also give him something - does he have an alternate device that he can bring to use in the evenings? (iPad or something) I’d be annoyed, for example, if I was told I couldn’t bring a book because I was expected to talk all evening. It’s his holiday too - give him something to look forward to.

And it’s not the end of the world if you miss a planned activity - sometimes I plan to do something on holiday and then decide on the day that it would be nicer to relax.

And please try and have a laugh with him.

Haven't read all the comments but I personally think it's inappropriate for them to share a room. Why not DH and DSS share the twin and you and DD share the double? I assume that's the layout.

I've been to Center parks so many times and they all have big sofas which are fine to sleep on. My massive other half often falls asleep on them accidentally!

You're setting him up to fail.

Has nailed it.

Where is his dad in all this? Obviously not standing up for his teenage son and making sure his needs are equally met and the holiday suits and is as enjoyable for him as it is for the rest of his family.

Absolutely inappropriate they share. When there is a very simple alternative for them to share with their parents.

I can guarantee you will not be trying to enforce this type of holiday on your dd, if it wasn't her thing, when she is a stroppy 14 year old teen. You will find a holiday you will both enjoy.

How is your relationship with him normally?

if it were me I’d ask him what sort of things he’d like to do, then book them. If he says “nothing” then let him know that you’ll pick stuff that you will all enjoy as a family.

I wouldn’t take the PS5 personally. Maybe some board games which he’d be interested in? Or does he have a phone he plays games on?

The room thing has got me thinking… would people be saying that a mum & dad with 2 full bio kids shouldn’t have the kids sharing on a 4 night holiday. Parents each sharing with a child of the same gender isn’t something I’ve ever heard of in “first” families. Is it the age of the kids or the fact they aren’t full siblings which makes it an issue? Curious!

If it wasn't a stepmother/stepson scenario I feel like the responses would be a lot different and there'd be a lot less sympathy towards a sulky teenager who just wants to play PS5, not get involved and create an atmosphere for everyone else. I'm not surprised op is pissed off. Holidays cost a lot of money and you don't want it to be ruined by one person who doesn't even want to be there.

Absolute madness that people think taking a console on a family holiday is acceptable.

Some of the Center parcs in Holland have bunk beds.

I also would share a double with your dd. The other solution is for your dss to sleep in the living room at night and transfer to the bunk bed room to allow him to sleep in once you’re up. Your dd can store all of her stuff in your room.

At 14, he needs his own space. I agree with leaving him to roam. My 14 yo dd has a tracker on her phone, which is useful if I’m picking her up somewhere and checking where she is or expecting her home and she’s later than I would have expected without calling her to etc.

There are plenty of teens, who struggle to participate in family activities and need time and space for themselves. Dd is pretty outgoing so needs less space but also happy with ‘down’ days on holiday to FT friends etc. At 10, this would have been an absurd notion and she’s changed so much in the past few years.

She specifically said they chose this holiday to suit DSS.

He's not being dragged to something that isn't suited to him, unless you're suggesting they're awful people for not organising a PS5 and sleep holiday. Some teenagers are just mopey and ungrateful about being taken away from those things regardless of what type of holiday it is, and it doesn't mean their parents have been negligent and booked something inadequate.

Do you actually need this spelling out to you? A teenage boy is not going to go four nights without masturbating. Your DH had better prepare for a very uncomfortable conversation telling his son to sort himself out in the shower.

Is it a European location? I’ve never seen bunks in a UK CP.

Can people please stop saying you can't make 'step-siblings' share? They're not step-siblings. The OP clearly says they're half-siblings. They are brother and sister, not a pair of unrelated kids with different parents.

I am quite confused though - you booked CentreParcs because it would be better for DSS, but you also think he won't want to do any of the activities that you can do at CentreParcs and would prefer to play on his PS5, which you won't be allowing him to do. I don't really understand why you didn't book something where he would be able to lounge around and play PS5 in peace while you did activities or went to attractions with his little sister. 'Do you fancy coming to the beach/Go Ape/whatever tomorrow, DSS?' 'Nah, I'd rather play PS5.' 'OK, no worries. Let us know if you change your mind in the morning but if not, there's stuff in the fridge you can have for lunch.'

Just been to CP with similar aged kids and it was fine, although both boys so they could share.

They took themselves off to the pool and it gave the older one a chance to show he could be trusted to be the one in charge for a bit.

My eldest loves gaming but I wouldn't take the ps5. I have no problem with phones but lured him away from it with card games and food!

My 14 year old acts cool but is still a kid deep down and loved the slides and watersports. I gave him a shandy every now and then too 😂.

Good luck.

It’s not inappropriate but there will be arguments and resentments, so for this reason I’d put an adult in with each child.
Ds age 15 was awful on holiday so I’d let him take the PlayStation and let him do his own thing. Insist on not wasting paid for activities but aside from those have no expectations from him. Obviously as an adult will be sharing his room, the PlayStation will be during waking hours only.
You guys do your thing, let him do his.