Centreparcs with dss - dreading it

[nelle45]

We are going away to CP for 4 nights, me, dh, dd 10 & dss 14, we were going to go somewhere else but have decided on CP purely as its better for dss due to his age.

He never wants to participate in anything and honestly i am dreading this trip.

We prepped him and said if he feels he won't want to do anything then not to come and ruin it for us, as harsh as it sounds its true. It would be shit for dd and for us as there will be arguments. Plus we could've just gone to the first cheaper option which would've been fine for just us and dd.

He isn't allowed to bring his ps5 as he will be too distracted & stay up all night then not want to do the activities.

Another thing, dd & dss are half siblings snd will be sharing a room, this was the only option left so we figured a few days is ok, but if im honest i dont love the idea.

Is this just going to be a disaster??

My dd 17 and ds 15 will share a room, I mean they'd rather not but they know it costs lots more to have 3 rooms. They work it out with their own ground rules such as chucking one out whilst they get changed etc. it'll be fine .
Don't set him up to fail though re the joining in, you are going now so pointless to bring up where you could have gone.
Discuss activities they can choose and let them know once they are booked they have to do them but please give him space to be on his own too. You can leave him in the lodge and go off, he'd love that, and then make it clear he puts the gaming away at night and meal times.
It's his holiday too, chill out.

It is inappropriate because they are of the opposite sex. They may be curious about one another’s bodies and even could be tempted to go further than just looking.
They may be embarrassed about their own body. How will they get changed?
There are risk factors for potential abuse. Abusive situations can occur irrespective of blood relationships.
I’m surprised that this has to be spelled out to you.

I'm guessing it's one double room and one bunk room.

In which case you and DD have the double and DH and his son will have the bunks.

10 and 14 opposite sex is just an impossible room share. They are old enough to realise they have no privacy, are the opposite sex and it's awkward.

Also, just leave the moping teenager in the lodge and you dh and DD go do activities. He's 14 leave some crisps in the cupboard and let him crack on.

Really not getting this not sharing issue. My brother (who was my half brother) was 7 years older than me and we shared a room at times when needed and it was no bother.

You just need to remember that it's his holiday too so let him feel like he is on holiday as well i.e let him do what he wants with in reason. I agree not letting him bring his ps5, but if he wants to stay up watching TV let him, lie in in the mornings let him etc. Just say activities paid for already are a must etc but otherwise let it be his holiday as much as yours

Just be prepared for him to be grumpy. Let him roam by himself and find friends there. I remember the last time I went on holiday with my parents. I was also 14 and a grumpy shitbag even though I was a “good” teen. But I basically wanted to hang out with boys friends, not do anything with my parents.
This could be your last holiday with him so relax, don’t nag at him, let him do his own thing. CP is great for this as he can probably find people his own age to hang out with.

Why are so many posters saying they are a step-siblings?

They share the same dad, they are biological brother and sister!

So the situation is a biological brother and sister sharing a room on holiday.

Tbh at those ages I still think they will need privacy and think maybe mum/daughter and dad/son may be better set up?

@Brokenfurnitureandroses jesus give it a rest, ..... Tempted to go further than just looking... Are you serious? so all half siblings need to be kept apart just in case they decide to commit insest - seriously? I don't think I have a single friend growing up that didn't share with older siblings of the opposite sex when on holiday or camping. Your being ridiculous

Jees just came back to say the same, what on earth !

@Brokenfurnitureandroses
Looking at this thread, and l the other similar thread going at the moment, I’m surprised more people don’t think of the potential issue. Especially with these ages and the older child being the male child.

I have personal history and work history that maybe make me more likely to think of that issue. However I’m genuinely surprised it doesn’t occur to so many other people, I honestly though more people would be wary of room sharing.

It’s totally normal for mixed sex siblings to share a room on holiday. It’s for max 4 days and they can get changed in the bathroom. However, as he’s a step son presumably he doesn’t live with you full time, I think you need to provide him with a space to retreat to that’s his. I’d put a mattress in your room for your daughter or do child sleeps with own parent as suggested. If he doesn’t want to participate just leave him in the accommodation and go out. Or split up as lots of activities won’t be suitable for the 10 year old. Teens can be grumpy but it’s a bit unfair to dread it before you even get there!

Christ, he's 14, not 4!

There's no need to stop him gaming, just control how much time he can spend on it and if there are no activities he wants to do why make him?

And ffs, at least let him sleep on the sofa or something!!

If we can tell from a few words that you don't want him there then he will be well aware too.

It's not his fault he's been up gaming all night though, is it?!!

Where's the parenting, OP?!!

All of this.

Did DSS ask to go to CP? I can’t see that you’ve said that despite saying you chose it for him? Just let him take his PS. He can’t share a room with his 10 year old sister, you need to switch it up.
Teenagers are notoriously difficult to holiday with, I’m not sure why you’re acting like DSS is going to be a massive problem. Just sit back and let him do his own thing and he’ll still be an ungrateful sod most likely. Leave him to it.

We’re about to go on holiday for a month and for much of that my DD16 and DS14 will share a room. It’s too expensive to get three rooms in a lot of places. Of course they don’t love it but they just get changed in the bathroom it’s not difficult really. Though in a half sibling situation with that age gap I’d make different arrangements if I thought it would help him enjoy the holiday more.

I do think it comes across loud and clear that you don’t want him there and he will know that. Pretty horrible behaviour from adults towards a teenager. Your DD will be a teen soon and will no doubt be grumpy, moody and difficult too. Mine grumble about holidays but when we get there they usually have fun and it brings them closer together too.

I mean it couldn't be more obvious how unwelcome he is on this holiday.

And yes, room sharing isn't on - would YOU want to share with a 14 year old boy?

I agree that the room share is age inappropriate, especially with a half sibling that your 10 year old DD doesn't usually live with. The fact that "that's all that was available" does not make it acceptable. Apart from yours and your husband's personal preference, there is no reason why you and he can't share with the kids. As you yourself said it's not ideal but it's only for 4 days.
Don't underestimate the impact your current sleeping arrangements will have on both kids, which all to often adults brush off as "a fuss over nothing".

My two are full siblings, opposite sex, similar ages. No way would I make them share a room on holiday. If we can’t book three bedrooms, we each share with one child. Or DS has the sofa but has our room in the day for space/ chilling out.

I think you need to rethink your expectations and rejig your perspective. Yes it's annoying when you go all out for a teen who then seems ungrateful. Let that go.

This is also a break for you your dd and your dh, relax don't plan so much go with the flow and let people enjoy themselves. Take your dd to the activities, your dss doesn't want to be a part of that that's ok.

Try not to get annoyed when your expectations aren't met, not everyone wants to do the same thing or be in others company 24/7.

Enjoy yourselves 😊

Why can't you sleep on a bunk bed ? It's essentially a single bed if you go on the bottom.

Missing the point slightly but there are no bunk beds in two bedroom lodges at CP.

OP can you smell burning? Is your bum feeling a bit hot? I think you should check to see whether your pants are on fire.

You absolutely can't make them share. Put DH in the bunk bed room with DSS and let him deal with the sleeping times and getting up issues.

There are no bunk beds at CP

Also, you need to share with your own children. It's incredibly mean making a girl hitting puberty share with a 14 year old boy.

Currently on holiday and have yet to spend the night with dh, I've slept in the big bed, the bottom bunk and last night the top bunk with a child and dh has done the same.

You need to do what works as opposed to what you would like!

Take the ps but have a curfew. I agree with other pp you should bunk in with a child each, why can dh not sleep in a bunk ?

Give dss some space in the mornings then try to get him out and about later.