Woman just had a go at me for my child

[didsomebodaysayyyjusteat]

I've got a 1 year old DD. She's short so when holding her hand she really reaches up. She's steady on her feet and has been walking for months. Also with the weather being hot her little hands get a bit clammy so if she bolted her hands can easily slip from my grip.

Was browsing in boots this morning and noticed a woman making comments under her breath.

Got round to a different aisle and she muttered something under her breath again. It was only us and her In the aisle so I said 'are you talking to me? I can't quite hear you'

She snapped 'why have you put your poor child on a dog lead, is your child a dog?!'

I didn't know what to say, no one's ever said a bad thing about reins to me and I've never thought they were an issue! Didn't say anything then but was pissed off.

Then we met again on the toothpaste aisle. Final interaction. She was browsing the section of toothpaste / mouthwash and I just mentioned to her she ought to probably pick something up as her breath was humming & my 'dog' didn't want to be around an offensive stench.

I've never heard of Reins being a bad thing??? Why would they be classed as a bad thing? Do people tend to have different views on reins and if so, why?

I probably shouldn't have said anything to wind her up looking back but what's wrong with reins!?

I have twins and it is very hard to control a twin pushchair with one in it and one walking with just one hand. With the long reins I had, I was able to keep the walker by my side and the other safely in the pushchair.

Some people really want something to get het up about don’t they…there’s war, climate change, recession and a collapsing health service …but she’s going for someone keeping their child safe, yes? Interesting choice.

I think I would have laughed as if it was a genuine misunderstanding and said, ‘oh gosh, no I don’t…this isn’t a dog leash, it’s safety reins designed to protect my child?’.

Either that or go with saying you really wanted to be still using the buggy but they are impossible to get hold of these days as they’ve become really popular with dogs.

People can be ridiculous about reins.

Yet walking around with your hand up above your head is really uncomfortable so the only person I’ve ever judged is one who wouldn’t use reins because “they’re ugly” yet their child was clearly uncomfortable holding their hand for long periods. He was a twat generally though.

I agree. We always complain about random men sharing their unwanted opinions with us, but it's no better for older women to share them either!

Where did the OP say the woman was old?

She would have also likely made a comment if your DD was running riot around the shop too.

The woman is the problem, not the reins. Some people are just unhappy in life and opinionated. It’s a Bad mix!! Glad you had the last word ✌️

I’m an older person and I think the woman you met should have kept her mouth shut. Your child, your rules. I used reins, especially on DD2 who was a bolter, jumper, climber, lie down on the road or pavement just because I can, all round nightmare. Better reins than a mown down child.

Nothing wrong with them at all. I wish more people would use them, especially near busy roads.

Lol your later comeback was great 👍 serves her right! Nosy busybody.

Did she say anything back after the toothpaste comment?.😂

A few decades ago - can't remember when - there was a Watchdog or similar program that had the issue with reins on sale at the time. Anyway some reins were dangerous to use as there were lax safety standards. Basically if you didn't get reins from Mothercare or similar you were buying dangerous shit. So depending on the woman's age she likely still sees them as dangerous as well as undignified.

I had reins on me as a child but I didn't put my DD on reins. The difference is I was taken out with multiple small children under 7 as there were no ratios for child carers, there as there is now. Plus unlike me my DD likes cars and other vehicles so doesn't want to be run over by one.

Either that or go with saying you really wanted to be still using the buggy but they are impossible to get hold of these days as they’ve become really popular with dogs

Brilliant!

Someone said exactly the same to me once.

Where would such people stand on seatbelts?

There are nutters about, sometimes we meet them.

I used to get this a lot when I used reins. They never saw the times when she was making a run for it spontaneously from my hand hold.

She didn't. And neither did I, if you read my post again.

I think we both know a 20 something woman would not have said anything. It's always 50 somethings of either sex who feel the need to voice their unwanted opinions.

She’s a moron. I used reigns with both mine and never got any comments but if I had I’d have told them to eff off!

Howwwwww many times. Yawn.
Why would I want random people, on an anonymous forum, to 'high five' me and be on my side.
I don't give a flying toss if people think I was rude to her. I actually DO think k was rude to her, and I couldn't give a damn.

Again.
Please re-read.
I wanted to know why people had such divided opinions on rains.

I don't need validation from anyone because I told someone their breath stank Jesus Christ 😂 maybe you tend to think like that. I don't!

I never understand why people have a problem with reins or say “I don’t use them, I prefer to teach hand holding” like the two are mutually exclusive.

my eldest loved her little back pack and I used to attach it to the pushchair once our youngest came along as I didn’t want to risk having to leave the baby while running after the eldest should she suddenly decide to sprint off.

You don’t need to be perfect. We all make mistakes. We all get things wrong. It’s how we deal with it that matters.

Now your daughter has seen you behave like that you can say something like “That wasn’t very kind of mummy, and it’s not how we should react etc.”

It’s a good teaching moment.

I wanted to know why people had such divided opinions on rains.

I don’t think people do. There was another thread on them just yesterday - general consensus is that everyone thinks they’re great. No real division I can see. It seems to be very much imagined from what I can tell.
There will always be weirdos around like the one you encountered in boots. They don’t speak for a substantial amount of people. You could have encountered a crazy lady telling you not to buy a certain shampoo because it might cause the next apocalypse - doesn’t mean anyone else is thinking the same, or that there is a divided opinion on the use of Herbal Essences.

Yeah I agree. People still hold their children's hands, it's just sometimes reins are the best option and they give the child a little more room to roam. Especially if they are only just learning to walk so they're really little and it's hard to stay crouched over for long periods to let them get much practice.

Personally I think it's great to get children out of their buggies asap and get them used to walking longer distances, and they can go more at their own pace and use both their hands if they're using reins. Not exclusively obviously, but at times where it might be busy or where the walk is too long to hold hands with a tiny little one the whole time.

Abd yet you bothered to type it out and tell everyone. Its so inconsequential to you and so irrelevant the the important issue you wish yo discuss, you just had to tell everyone how awesome you are for coming up with a juvenile insult five minutes later.

“I don’t use them, I prefer to teach hand holding” like the two are mutually exclusive.

Yes, this. Could you get any more smug? Or the ones who say "I prefer to teach my child not to run off" - again, like that's mutually exclusive with wearing reins 🙄

With reins, the child and adult are both more comfortable, and the child has more freedom and more fun. There are literally no possible downsides that I can think of.

Or the child is unusually biddable after having its hand crushed several times by the parent holding it in an effort to stop it bolting off.

And you bothered to read it

@DancingBeanstalk

Someone said something that pissed me off.
I said something back. I didn't swear, I didn't shout, I didn't snap.

My 1 year old daughter is hardly going to be taking ANY notice of me advising a random person to purchase some toothpaste as their breath ponged.

😂 such a great teaching moment… for a 1 year old?!!