Woman just had a go at me for my child

[didsomebodaysayyyjusteat]

I've got a 1 year old DD. She's short so when holding her hand she really reaches up. She's steady on her feet and has been walking for months. Also with the weather being hot her little hands get a bit clammy so if she bolted her hands can easily slip from my grip.

Was browsing in boots this morning and noticed a woman making comments under her breath.

Got round to a different aisle and she muttered something under her breath again. It was only us and her In the aisle so I said 'are you talking to me? I can't quite hear you'

She snapped 'why have you put your poor child on a dog lead, is your child a dog?!'

I didn't know what to say, no one's ever said a bad thing about reins to me and I've never thought they were an issue! Didn't say anything then but was pissed off.

Then we met again on the toothpaste aisle. Final interaction. She was browsing the section of toothpaste / mouthwash and I just mentioned to her she ought to probably pick something up as her breath was humming & my 'dog' didn't want to be around an offensive stench.

I've never heard of Reins being a bad thing??? Why would they be classed as a bad thing? Do people tend to have different views on reins and if so, why?

I probably shouldn't have said anything to wind her up looking back but what's wrong with reins!?

Same. I would have burst out laughing.

I wonder if she goes to the grocery store to judge people as sport. Nothing like whacking big sneery judgement of another to boost one’s own fragile and waning ego.

I had one who wanted to run constantly and constantly pulled her hand out of mine, but was really happy on reins. So went from a frustrated 1 year old, to a happy one. Can't see why anyone would object to that!

She gave me some unsolicited pointless advice, so I gave her some back.

@ReeseWitherfork You can do both. My DD was a bolter and she had backpack reins but I always held her hand too. The reins were just a safety net in case she slipped my hand (which she did do occasionally, usually by a busy road!)

I've used reins when near roads. I do hate seeing children on reins when we are in safe parks, not that I would say anything.
You comment was really rude too so you dont sound any better.

Your comments were far worse than hers. Your comments were foul.

Some people really don’t know how to mind their own business. Very rude of her to say what she did.

My son had a backpack with a lead on it when he was first walking. I used it for peace of mind when teaching him to hold hands (I’d have the lead around my wrist while I was holding hands so I’d be able to stop him if he bolted). I think it’s really helpful for teaching them to hold hands.

I just walked away after so she may well have said something else but I didn't hear anything.

Some people really get their bee in a bonnet over reins. I don’t know why! They were a life saver with ds who had a habit of bolting.

Ignore her and carry on as you are

Reins are great, I used them with all my kids. I don't see why people have a problem with them. Surely it's no different to strapping your child into a pushchair to keep them safe. I think you were quite polite. I'd have had to cover my child ears before I replied to her.

She was way out of order for her comments but you were worse for yours.

I don't like reins but wouldn't make a comment to someone else for using them. I probably make loads of parenting decisions that aren't right for others.

Your comments to her were horrible, though.

I thought reins were terrible until I became a Mum. The amount of times I stopped dd smacking face first into the pavement by lifting her up safely just in time.

Being a Mum equals being judged, constantly, by people who have no right to judge you. Read The Farmer, the Son and the Donkey for advice on how much you should listen to judgy others.

Well, I’ll tell you I had my own comeuppance about that. Before I had DC, I worked in an upscale shop. I once saw a lady using reins in the shop and I, too, made s comment about a child not being a dog. Boy did that come back and bite me on the tail! A feee years later, I’m in the same shop with my DC, who is in their pram with the hood up. Unbeknownst to me, while chatting to a salesgirl, my DC woke up, climbed out of the pram and left the shop! Mass panic when I was walking away from the counter and checked on him, with him being gone. I always, always used reins thereafter including with the DC I had later.

interestingly, none of my children would even attempt to run off if for some reason we’d forgotten them etc. it had become second nature not to run off.

I had a bolter too - god could she run!
And it was in the days before the sweet little back packs so the reins really did look like reins. I'm old enough to remember when virtually all children wore them so really can't get my head around the problem with them. It's no different from clamping a child in a buggy - you're keeping them safe.

Far far better to keep your little one safe.

Your comment did make me laugh and to all those sniffy about them - well if you give it out, you got to be able to take it in return.

Goodness, I haven't seen a child with reins for many years, they seem to have gone out of favour here (not in the UK). She was very rude OP, and while I probably wouldn't have done it myself I don't blame you for responding as you did. Reins are very sensible in my opinion.

Yep! Totally agree. I will never apologise for keeping my child safe. And I will never stay quite and let people judge me and talk to
Me like shit, for keeping my child safe. Why should I?!

People saying my comments were horrible.
Well that's the point.. I wanted to make her feel shit as she's made me feel shit.

I think horrible / foul are a bit of a stretch as it's not as if I shouted at the woman or called her names. I just said it's best she picked up some toothpaste as her breath stinks 😂

If people thing that's foul / horrible / unhinged then jesus there's a lot worse people can be called!

It's a very odd thing to have a go at someone over. To me, there's little difference between reins and holding a child's hand - both intended to keep them safe.

Mine used to play 'horsey' when they had their reins on

She snapped 'why have you put your poor child on a dog lead, is your child a dog?!'

I'd have said no, my dog has much more reliable recall and walks to heel better, so I don't need to use a lead with him.

She’s just an idiot, ignore.

People used to be funny about reins, although not so much now. They can give kids a lot of freedom.

I still haven’t forgotten about the poor mnetter on here.

She used reins. Her dh refused to because of the dog comment. Her child ran in front of a car whilst with dh and was killed instantly

OMG I'm so shocked that people would react like this to something so practical!

I wouldn't bat an eyelid if I saw reins on a child, it was the done thing when I was a child and when my children were small

This

… you comments back were pretty idiotic too though. It’s possible to stand up for yourself without being rude, and it’s a better example for your kids.

Yep you had every right to confront her about calling your child a dog but going personal and trying to make her feel shit like you did you lost all the moral high ground