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Woman just had a go at me for my child

300 replies

didsomebodaysayyyjusteat · 12/08/2022 10:28

I've got a 1 year old DD. She's short so when holding her hand she really reaches up. She's steady on her feet and has been walking for months. Also with the weather being hot her little hands get a bit clammy so if she bolted her hands can easily slip from my grip.

Was browsing in boots this morning and noticed a woman making comments under her breath.

Got round to a different aisle and she muttered something under her breath again. It was only us and her In the aisle so I said 'are you talking to me? I can't quite hear you'

She snapped 'why have you put your poor child on a dog lead, is your child a dog?!'

I didn't know what to say, no one's ever said a bad thing about reins to me and I've never thought they were an issue! Didn't say anything then but was pissed off.

Then we met again on the toothpaste aisle. Final interaction. She was browsing the section of toothpaste / mouthwash and I just mentioned to her she ought to probably pick something up as her breath was humming & my 'dog' didn't want to be around an offensive stench.

I've never heard of Reins being a bad thing??? Why would they be classed as a bad thing? Do people tend to have different views on reins and if so, why?

I probably shouldn't have said anything to wind her up looking back but what's wrong with reins!?

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Notbeinfunnehbut · 12/08/2022 10:32

Because they are morons sadly, ignore don’t give her another thought

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Antarcticant · 12/08/2022 10:33

No idea about the rights and wrongs of reins, but making comments like that to strangers is unhinged - I'd suggest the woman has issues. You'd have been best ignoring her but I can understand why you wanted the last word.

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TheWeeDonkey · 12/08/2022 10:35

People are stupid. I had a bolter too and he hated his reins, but he needed them

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ReeseWitherfork · 12/08/2022 10:36

I didn’t personally want to use them, not a fan, but couldn’t give two flying shits what other people do.

(And because you asked: I didn’t use them because I wanted to focus on teaching DS to hold my hand at all times. I’ve got baby twins and I can’t imagine for a second I’ll get away with no having them when they’re walking.)

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whoruntheworldgirls · 12/08/2022 10:36

She's a stupid bitch who should keep her opinions to herself. You were keeping your child safe, nothing wrong with that, i used reins when my daughter was little, she was also small and i didn't want her arm aching from stretching up or the risk or her wriggling free.

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Notjustabrunette · 12/08/2022 10:36

A man once said something like this to me in a supermarket, I told to fuck off. Probably not the best response, but he was being a dick.

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Ozgirl75 · 12/08/2022 10:36

I only had one older woman comment on my child’s rein backpack when he was tiny (he was also an early walker, a runner and tiny!) and I just looked at her and said “I just figured it was better to have him on reins rather than killed by a car, but each to their own”
I always thought it was such a odd thing to judge about - I mean, they’re keeping your child safe, how strange to think this was a bad thing.

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LondonWolf · 12/08/2022 10:37

I'd have laughed and told her to mind her own business then given her a big smile when I I saw her again.

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that1970shouse · 12/08/2022 10:37

Wow, that's the opposite of what I would say. When severely provoked, I once said "If your child isn't trained to walk to heel, then you should keep it on a leash."

If only all parents were as responsible as you.

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GrunkleStan · 12/08/2022 10:39

I'd have told her to.mind her own business.

I used reins on ds2 as he was a bolter. I never encountered negative comments, and if I had they'd have had both barrels by means of a response.

You know your own child, if you feel you need them, crack on.

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Itreallyistimetogo · 12/08/2022 10:41

I would have told her to keep her opinions to herself. She is a dickhead. You do what you feel is best to keep your child safe given your own circumstances God knows what she would think of me. DS is 7 and on reins because he is autistic, has no sense of danger, a bolter and bites your hand when he is distressed.

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Choopi · 12/08/2022 10:41

I tried reins on my ds when he was small because he was a bolter who like to run and hide. Every bloody time I'd put them on he would get down on all fours and pretend to be a dog or a cat depending on his mood. He has asd and would have massive meltdowns if I tried to get him to act like a human while wearing them. So while I am not opposed to them they didn't work for us.

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Fraaahnces · 12/08/2022 10:42

I had three under two, all on reins (little animal backpacks and the tails were the leads). I was told off by someone walking three little yap dogs on leads and when I suggested they liberate their dogs in the carpark we were both walking through, I was told not to be so stupid, as it's dangerous. Sigh... Idiots abound.

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GirlInACountrySong · 12/08/2022 10:43

You said that? And didn't get anything back from her?

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Freedomfighters · 12/08/2022 10:45

Nothing wrong with reins and it's nothing to do with her. I wouldn't have responded as you did though, that's a whole new level.

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blobby10 · 12/08/2022 10:46

They are a most sensible 'tool' to help a toddler feel independent and grown up whilst the grown up holding the reins retains control ! i used them on all my 3 but this was over 20 years ago whenI don't think people in general were so rude or outspoken or opinionated. Obviously there were always 'alternative' parenting methods that had non believers rolling their eyes but it seemed to be much more 'each to their own' in my day..

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skgnome · 12/08/2022 10:47

I used reins, since DD had a weird thing where she walked beautifully with reins but the second I took them off she lost all balance and “forgot” how to walk… lasted about a month… and then were used in crowds or places where I wanted that extra bit of reassurance - so I totally get the use of reins
but I also know they can be a divisive issue, especially with the older generation… and people can be idiots that love to give unsolicited advice
if reins work for you and your kid, just roll your eyes and move on from unnecessary comments

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PoppyLupin · 12/08/2022 10:47

Reins are sensible.

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paulmccartneysbagel · 12/08/2022 10:47

I used reins for all three of my kids, as well as teaching them to hold my hand. When you live somewhere busy and have kids that want to run off, it's a no brainer in my opinion.

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Crunchymum · 12/08/2022 10:47

I assume its those backpack reins? Which aren't even attached to the child.

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CaptaNoctem · 12/08/2022 10:49

Well I was on your side until you made the comment in the toothpaste aisle.

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caramac04 · 12/08/2022 10:50

When my DC were small I used reins and so did almost all of the other parents I knew. This was a long time ago but if anything roads are busier now and present an even greater danger to a child who has ‘escaped’. Reins can be gentler than a very firm grip on a small child’s hand.

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parietal · 12/08/2022 10:50

reins are great and keep kids safe and happy. it is much better & easier for a child to walk on reins than with an arm stretched up in the air.

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SquigglePigs · 12/08/2022 10:51

We had back pack reins for DD when she was little. She would bolt and due to lasting damage from my pregnancy I would struggle to get her fast enough or would hurt myself in the process so it seemed like the best idea. She loved them and would ask to wear them even when she didn't need them (she liked me to put my keys and reusable bags in it so she could help me carry them)! People complaining can get over themselves. It's not like it's an 8yr old on reins - it's a little one who hasn't learnt how to stay safe yet.

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didsomebodaysayyyjusteat · 12/08/2022 10:52

Crunchymum · 12/08/2022 10:47

I assume its those backpack reins? Which aren't even attached to the child.

They're like a back buckled harness and the twins are attached to a buckle at the back so she can't fiddle with it or get out of them.

And to the posters saying my comments were unhinged / on another level, probably, but if someone's going to quite literally snap at me for keeping my child safe, expect me to bite back.

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