Woman just had a go at me for my child

[didsomebodaysayyyjusteat]

I've got a 1 year old DD. She's short so when holding her hand she really reaches up. She's steady on her feet and has been walking for months. Also with the weather being hot her little hands get a bit clammy so if she bolted her hands can easily slip from my grip.

Was browsing in boots this morning and noticed a woman making comments under her breath.

Got round to a different aisle and she muttered something under her breath again. It was only us and her In the aisle so I said 'are you talking to me? I can't quite hear you'

She snapped 'why have you put your poor child on a dog lead, is your child a dog?!'

I didn't know what to say, no one's ever said a bad thing about reins to me and I've never thought they were an issue! Didn't say anything then but was pissed off.

Then we met again on the toothpaste aisle. Final interaction. She was browsing the section of toothpaste / mouthwash and I just mentioned to her she ought to probably pick something up as her breath was humming & my 'dog' didn't want to be around an offensive stench.

I've never heard of Reins being a bad thing??? Why would they be classed as a bad thing? Do people tend to have different views on reins and if so, why?

I probably shouldn't have said anything to wind her up looking back but what's wrong with reins!?

How's that any different from strapping a child into a buggy where it has no autonomy and it's even easier to ignore if the parent is that way inclined? Is a buggy a lazy option too?

A buggy is a lazy option if it's being used so you don't have to parent your child who's capable of walking, yes.

If it's being used because your child can't walk, fine. If it's being used because your child's tired, fine. If it's being used because you can't be arsed to keep an eye on them, it's lazy.

you were entitled to be even ruder to that absolute CUNext Tuesday. How dare she mutter, interfere and confront you, in-front of a child.

I am all for reins. I have a one year old who just started walking. I certainly prefer my child alive. If I get a single comment from anyone for using them, I will be saying

“I prefer my child alive, mind your own business” and possibly insult if there is some low hanging fruit, (brush your hair, lipstick in your tooth, dirty clothes) I’ll find something.

being polite back won’t stop that person from upsetting another parent, biting is the only answer for dealing with the scum of the earth and nip it in the bud.

Confidence is key.

Some people are as thick as pigshit.

A small child is unpredictable.
Reins make it safer for them.

I would have replied with "a child's safety is even more important than a dog's" rather than a cheap shot about her breath.

@sidheandlight

the woman should have thought about what response she might get to her comment

don’t dish it out if you can’t take it

@girlmom21 what a rude comment. It’s not lazy, it’s necessary at times.

Wow, you sound nice. You're actually proud of that comment?

@butterflied

no it wasn’t

because OP’s comment was in retaliation

What have I said that's rude?

@Outoutoutshout

nah she deserve it

she can’t go round giving people shit and not expect it back

she could have been given a lot worse and if she doesn’t learn to shut her mouth and mind her own she likely will in future

My child used to be attached to an actual dog lead! That would have given her a heart attack. I used to wear a runners lead attached to the reins so she could be reasonably independent and I could have my hands free to maneuver my wheelchair. Someone told me to take it off her and I said I would if they were going to come everywhere with me and run after her.

I don't agree actually - the woman was plain nasty and she got nasty back 🤷‍♀️

Also the woman's comment were unprovoked and unwarranted - the OP responded after basically being verbally attacked.

Bahahaha I love your response OP. Petty yes but I think you were pretty justified.

Did her breath actually stink BTW? Just wondering 😂

And because you asked: I didn’t use them because I wanted to focus on teaching DS to hold my hand at all times

You can do that and use reins at the same time.

I think anyone who judges, IMO sensible, parents who use a simple means to keep their child safe must be of limited intelligence and have no imagination about the potential consequences of a child running of into a busy road, or they are vertically challenged and don’t have to bend down to hold their child’s hand.

Besides, it can’t be comfortable for the child to walk with their arm up in the air for a long time

I don't like them for the same reason I don't like short leads on dogs - too many people use them as a lazy option and think they can just stop and expect the child to stop or change direction by just dragging them in the way they want to go rather than actually communicating with your child and keeping a proper eye on them.

That is utter tosh @girlmom21. Surely the laziest method is to strap your child into a buggy Some children are bolters. Maybe some parents aren’t fit enough to run after their DC. Maybe the child has a hidden disability or has extra needs.

I was born in the same year as you @VickyEadieofThigh, and my parents used reins. My mum had a large pushchair when my sister was little, but we were both made to walk as soon as possible.

I have had a search for @MrsPresley’s post, but it must have been deleted. Every time there is a thread about baby reins I think of her and the tragic consequences of her child not wearing reins.

One of my twins favourite thing was to “fly” on the reins, only worked with tall daddy, but leaning forward the taking his feet off the ground. Only happened for a month or two then he got too tall. Of course dh had to spin round slowly with him once, and that was that, he wanted to do it again and again.
Reins were the only way I could cope with three under three.

My Mum put me on reins (in the late 1950s) after I’d made several breaks for freedom….one culminated in her having to collect me from the police station 😊

I think they’re eminently sensible to keep small children safe.

That is utter tosh @girlmom21. Surely the laziest method is to strap your child into a buggy Some children are bolters. Maybe some parents aren’t fit enough to run after their DC. Maybe the child has a hidden disability or has extra needs.

Ah just another person choosing to ignore what I've actually written.

I've said if they're used properly they're great.

I don't like them because I've seen lots of people use them lazily. I've explicitly stated reins and buggies are bad if people are using them so they don't have to parent

That's what I was thinking..

Best not to provoke unhinged strangers in shops.

Reins are no bad thing, far better than letting a toddler run off into the road {Which I have witnessed happening while a mother was distracted by her phone!

What a story, clearly you both have some issues!
She was judging and rude, but she didn't "make you" feel any particular way, that is on you.
And your response is just wtf, you really stooped low with that one. I'm not sure there are any winners there!

On to your original question, I used reins once with my son and decided I didn't like them. But if it works for you then that's your lookout. So try not to be triggered by opinions you disagree with!

Good for you! She was unspeakably rude and deserved a response

People are mad, but it was ever thus.

Reins are great imho, and must have stopped many an accident over the years. When I used them in the 80s I never got any adverse comments, they were probably still the norm. But oh my goodness, how many did I get for “suffocating” and “crushing” my babies in a sling, not to mention damaging their backs?

None of my AC used reins with their children - I just kept my mouth shut, as we all should when other (particularly younger) people’s parenting choices differ from ours.

@oakleaffy
@GirlInACountrySong

the woman probably wasn’t expecting a retaliation from op

she was probably used to saying to shit to people
and people being too polite and British to say anything back

op responded in kind and maybe it stunned her into silence

good for op

My youngest stepson was a terror for running off when he was a toddler. And he was fast! His dad didn't get reins, but one of those contraptions where you have a curly cord with a plastic bracelet type cuff on either end. One for daddy, one for the little un.
Little un was not impressed at first. Until daddy explained that 'daddy's scared he gets lost outside, and he can't find you so you can take him back home. That did the trick. He was fine after that, even reminded daddy that they needed to put them on when they got out of the car.

I wonder what she'd have made of that? She sounds like she has issues. You're keeping your child safe. It's no one else's business.

Are you for real? 😂

How on earth is putting a small child in a pushchair “lazy”? Keeping children safe is part of parenting.

I had the 'dog' comment when mine were toddlers, I said I would rather they were dogs than dead!

Haha! Yes! My son and his friend used to do that ..We used reins for a short time when walking, and he too learned to ''Fly'' like Peter Pan.
Another plus with reins is that when a toddler falls, the reins can be lifted to stop them hitting the ground, hard.
Reins on a 'Chest' harness look much more comfortable than the strap that fastens on a child's wrist.