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Original poster

Woman just had a go at me for my child

313 replies

didsomebodaysayyyjusteat · 12/08/2022 10:28

I've got a 1 year old DD. She's short so when holding her hand she really reaches up. She's steady on her feet and has been walking for months. Also with the weather being hot her little hands get a bit clammy so if she bolted her hands can easily slip from my grip.

Was browsing in boots this morning and noticed a woman making comments under her breath.

Got round to a different aisle and she muttered something under her breath again. It was only us and her In the aisle so I said 'are you talking to me? I can't quite hear you'

She snapped 'why have you put your poor child on a dog lead, is your child a dog?!'

I didn't know what to say, no one's ever said a bad thing about reins to me and I've never thought they were an issue! Didn't say anything then but was pissed off.

Then we met again on the toothpaste aisle. Final interaction. She was browsing the section of toothpaste / mouthwash and I just mentioned to her she ought to probably pick something up as her breath was humming & my 'dog' didn't want to be around an offensive stench.

I've never heard of Reins being a bad thing??? Why would they be classed as a bad thing? Do people tend to have different views on reins and if so, why?

I probably shouldn't have said anything to wind her up looking back but what's wrong with reins!?

OP posts:
Original poster
didsomebodaysayyyjusteat · 12/08/2022 11:41

@sidheandlight oh behave 😂

Next time I see her, I'll call her a daft cunt.

Any better?

OP posts:
soundsofthesixties · 12/08/2022 11:42

I had reins, I was born in the 40s. I had reins for my daughter in the 70s. She had reins for my grandchildren born in 2000s. The difference is that back in the day no one rarely commented on what you did with your own children. People are so judgemental nowadays and feel they have the right to tell you what to do.

GCAcademic · 12/08/2022 11:42

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 12/08/2022 11:23

I’d not long had surgery on my back & was going to & from Uni with my bolting year old son, through a major London train station every week or so. He was always on a lead rein.

I had so many comments (always from women) that I just taught my son to woof at them.

Lol.

Next time someone makes a similar comment to you, OP, just bark at them.

Interested in this thread?

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Families
Original poster
didsomebodaysayyyjusteat · 12/08/2022 11:43

CantStartaFireWithoutaSpark · 12/08/2022 11:29

you were entitled to be even ruder to that absolute CUNext Tuesday. How dare she mutter, interfere and confront you, in-front of a child.

I am all for reins. I have a one year old who just started walking. I certainly prefer my child alive. If I get a single comment from anyone for using them, I will be saying

“I prefer my child alive, mind your own business” and possibly insult if there is some low hanging fruit, (brush your hair, lipstick in your tooth, dirty clothes) I’ll find something.

being polite back won’t stop that person from upsetting another parent, biting is the only answer for dealing with the scum of the earth and nip it in the bud.

Confidence is key.

Thank you!!

Honestly people are more bothered about me piping up back AFTER being confronted, judged and indirectly calling my child a dog.

So typical of MN, everyone must always ignore and stay silent.

Nope, not me!

OP posts:
DorchaAndLouis · 12/08/2022 11:45

If someone's mumbling under their breath why ask them to speak up? Just ignore and move away.

User636362873728 · 12/08/2022 11:45

Op, YANBU! There is nothing wrong with reins. They are a very useful tool to encourage some independence without holding hands before they are ready to walk independently.

honestly, some people aye. I would have told her to F off and keep her remarks to herself.

I have two kids. Oldest no doubt needed reins, he was a bolter, they were a life saver and kept him safe and I lived right on the main road in a town centre with no car at the time had to use them as soon as we left the house, went to the shops etc and took them off at the park etc.

my youngest did not need them. She was a very late Walker (2+ Due to mobility issues) but by the time she walked she already had a lot of road sense, she was slow on her feet and she couldn't run so she could never bolt off. So she never needed them!

My mum used them on all her kids as did my grandmother!

I don't know why the minority have a problem with reins. They either don't have children or their children did not need them.

User636362873728 · 12/08/2022 11:46

soundsofthesixties · 12/08/2022 11:42

I had reins, I was born in the 40s. I had reins for my daughter in the 70s. She had reins for my grandchildren born in 2000s. The difference is that back in the day no one rarely commented on what you did with your own children. People are so judgemental nowadays and feel they have the right to tell you what to do.

Hundred percent correct!!

TaranTulasForSamhain · 12/08/2022 11:46

Reins are better for young children learning to walk anyway. Our instinct is to hold tight to a child's hand if they stumble and that can cause a dislocated shoulder. With rims the child will swing from the harness harmlessly if they trip.
Also pity the poor child having to walk with their hand up in the air all the time 😁. We should make judgemental adult try that for 15 mins and see how they feel.

Original poster
didsomebodaysayyyjusteat · 12/08/2022 11:47

johnd2 · 12/08/2022 11:36

What a story, clearly you both have some issues!
She was judging and rude, but she didn't "make you" feel any particular way, that is on you.
And your response is just wtf, you really stooped low with that one. I'm not sure there are any winners there!

On to your original question, I used reins once with my son and decided I didn't like them. But if it works for you then that's your lookout. So try not to be triggered by opinions you disagree with!

I have issues?

With not being okay with strangers unprovoked basically calling my child a dog??

Mate if you're okay with that I would probably think you have self esteem issues letting strange women speak to you like a piece of crap. It's okay to stick up for yourself, you know.

OP posts:
BlueReindeer · 12/08/2022 11:47

Reins are fantastic! And far better for them to develop balance and walking than have one arm yanked above their head and you to get a bad back in the meantime.
Im with you on the comment in the toothpaste aisle.

Luggagerack · 12/08/2022 11:48

I once had a woman tell me I was suffocating my children in their double push chair as they had the rain cover on. I politely showed her the breathing holes and requested that she kept her hole shut.

BlueReindeer · 12/08/2022 11:49

Oh absolutely you’re allowed to react! @johnd2 is probably in the camp that women have to smile and accept any abuse from anyone older or male and have to accept social niceties whilst in discomfort themselves.

howdidigethere · 12/08/2022 11:49

Obviously you can use reins if you need to and that's not her business. Some busy bodies like to do this passive aggressive muttering in public places, venting their outrage. Yes, call them out on it and tell them your reasons or to mind their own business. No, don't get into silly insults about bad breath - apart from anything else it's meaningless and whether 'she deserves it' (and I'm sure some mothers would have her hung, drawn and quartered!) or not it doesn't make you much better IMO.

sqirrelfriends · 12/08/2022 11:49

I’ve always thought some peoples attitudes to reins were strange. It’s keeping a child safe, what’s the issue?

Rainbowsandbutterflies1990 · 12/08/2022 11:50

Wow my child is 5 and half and I have to use reins (skiing ones) when out as is autistic and non verbal and has learning disabilities and cannot just walk with me, obviously a little different as she is disabled but honestly anyone who makes comment to a parent is just awful! I have had a few funny looks!

DancingBeanstalk · 12/08/2022 11:51

You didn’t stick up for yourself.

Sticking up for yourself would have been related and along the lines of “yes, we use reins to keep her safe”.

Instead you were nasty and gave an unrelated rude comment.

Don’t confuse asserting yourself with just being vile to strangers.

Spidey66 · 12/08/2022 11:51

GCAcademic · 12/08/2022 11:06

She snapped 'why have you put your poor child on a dog lead, is your child a dog?!'

I'd have said no, my dog has much more reliable recall and walks to heel better, so I don't need to use a lead with him.

That's a great response!

Reins are fine, you do what you need to in order to keep your child safe. Better reins than a child in hospital.

I'm not a parent but my dog is kept on a lead to stop her bolting after a squirrel or running across the road to the park when we're going somewhere else. It's to prevent accidents. Yes it maybe similar with a toddler using reins but so bloody what?

Coffeaddict · 12/08/2022 11:53

DP wasn't in favour of reins with DSS ( but would never in a million years have commented on another child in that way). DSS was a pretty easy going toddler who was quite compliant. And then we had DS who's favourite hobby is to run away and who finds the words no or stop to be hilarious 🤦‍♀️. He has changed his mind about reins.

They are a safety device for young children, especially bolters. Ignore her

whynotwhatknot · 12/08/2022 11:54

why do people butt into someone else business-reins dont hurt anyone let alone this woman-silly cow

LuckySantangelo35 · 12/08/2022 11:54

DancingBeanstalk · 12/08/2022 11:51

You didn’t stick up for yourself.

Sticking up for yourself would have been related and along the lines of “yes, we use reins to keep her safe”.

Instead you were nasty and gave an unrelated rude comment.

Don’t confuse asserting yourself with just being vile to strangers.

@DancingBeanstalk

the woman was a stranger to Op and was vile to OP saying that she was treating her child like a dog

the woman got vileness back in return cos Op pointed out her stinky breath

oh well

maybe the woman will think twice in the future before saying stupid shit to strangers

good work Op

superplumb · 12/08/2022 11:56

None of her business. I had both my on reins it helped walked on their own and when they trip which they did often they would fall flat on their face. Also a safety issue when walking along a pavement kn case they wobble onto the road. I honestly dont know why strangers think they can comment..its so rude

Original poster
didsomebodaysayyyjusteat · 12/08/2022 11:57

Luredbyapomegranate · 12/08/2022 11:10

… you comments back were pretty idiotic too though. It’s possible to stand up for yourself without being rude, and it’s a better example for your kids.

I'm not about to teach my child that it's okay people to verbally abuse her and she has to stay silent.

I'm going to teach my child to stick up for herself, and where appropriate, where it won't cause her danger, defend herself and say something back.

I'm not going to teach my daughter to be silenced. You do you, but i won't be.

OP posts:
AssemblySquare · 12/08/2022 11:57

When my twins were tiny backpack reins were a godsend! We even used them when they were about 5 and went to London! I remember one woman saying to me “they look like dogs!” And I said “well, rather that than dead!” and walked away.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 12/08/2022 11:58

I used reins on mine (now in their 20s) and didn't get any interfering busybody comments .

She's probably the type who will do the Oh So Clever and hilarious running after someone in P&C , with the "Excuse me , Excuse Me , you seem to have left your child in your car"
Mildly funny the first time , tefious shite after that (and no I haven't parked in P&C without DC)

speakout · 12/08/2022 11:58

Got round to a different aisle and she muttered something under her breath again. It was only us and her In the aisle so I said 'are you talking to me? I can't quite hear you'

Why did you even ask her?
If someone i muttering under their breath then I simply give them a wide berth. Plenty people talk to themselves in the supermarket- including me, it's a way of remembering what I need.

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