Woman just had a go at me for my child

[didsomebodaysayyyjusteat]

I've got a 1 year old DD. She's short so when holding her hand she really reaches up. She's steady on her feet and has been walking for months. Also with the weather being hot her little hands get a bit clammy so if she bolted her hands can easily slip from my grip.

Was browsing in boots this morning and noticed a woman making comments under her breath.

Got round to a different aisle and she muttered something under her breath again. It was only us and her In the aisle so I said 'are you talking to me? I can't quite hear you'

She snapped 'why have you put your poor child on a dog lead, is your child a dog?!'

I didn't know what to say, no one's ever said a bad thing about reins to me and I've never thought they were an issue! Didn't say anything then but was pissed off.

Then we met again on the toothpaste aisle. Final interaction. She was browsing the section of toothpaste / mouthwash and I just mentioned to her she ought to probably pick something up as her breath was humming & my 'dog' didn't want to be around an offensive stench.

I've never heard of Reins being a bad thing??? Why would they be classed as a bad thing? Do people tend to have different views on reins and if so, why?

I probably shouldn't have said anything to wind her up looking back but what's wrong with reins!?

I had the same. Had to use reins for one of my dcs. I didn’t need them for other dcs but not all children are the same.
it won’t be the last time I’m afraid, I even had people say that to me as I arrived at church playgroup. You know, where other parents are supposed to support each other.
juts ignore knowing that you know best how to keep your child safe.

LMAO, some people are so pathetic. Fancy bothering yourself over children's reins at all, let alone enough to cause an actual confrontation.

Reins are so useful in multiple different situations. It's sheer bloody ignorance on another scale to think it's a big deal. And why are these idiots always so convinced that their opinion holds any value whatsoever to someone else!

I don't get the issue with reins. My mum used them on me and my siblings, first we had the proper ones that fastened at the back and then when we were older we processed to a wrist strap type thing. My friend has one of the back pack reins for her daughter, and if we're out together she normally ends up holding Auntie Sapphire's hand. 😁

Reins were the accepted way of keeing your toddler safe AND getting them walking when I was a child (born 1958), because buggies didn't exist.

Here's how reins are excellent - as well as letting the parent keep the child safe from harm, they encourage walking rather than being ferried around in buggies.

Your comment was just as bad, so I don't know what you're complaining about.

Those who don’t like reins - can I ask why? I really don’t get the issue. Do you think they are cruel or somehow hindering development?

im obviously talking about their use in an appropriate environment like a footpath or an airport or somewhere the child does need to be under control. Not just left tied up to a tree whilst dad is in the pub (that’s a joke by the way).

I had a backpack for my youngest two. Youngest son was a bolter, only way to keep them safe.

Those little backpacks are a godsend. One of mine used it, the youngest wasn't as unpredictable so didn't need it.

Your comment back was shitty though and very childish.

I had a backpack with lead attached for toddler. It was a godsend. She often didn't want to hold my hand and for the most part was fine but knowing she was attached to me was invaluable when trying to get round shops etc.

I don't like them for the same reason I don't like short leads on dogs - too many people use them as a lazy option and think they can just stop and expect the child to stop or change direction by just dragging them in the way they want to go rather than actually communicating with your child and keeping a proper eye on them.

When they're used properly they're great.

My point wasn't about who said the worst thing.
She indirectly called my child a dog.
I'm well within my rights to be vile to her 😂

If people are okay with others speaking to them like shit, fine.

I'm not and will say something back!

Anyway, you're missing my point of the post. I was trying to work out why people had issues with reins. Not about who's comment was worse.

I used them with my children when needed. Definitely ignore her.
Some people are just mean.

I wouldn't let her comment "make you feel shit" OP - she was rude to speak like that to a stranger but why let it upset you - she is just a random person with a different opinion being weirdly outspoken - who really cares? You are happy with your decision to use reins so that's cool - just don't worry about it.

And I am pretty confident that your comment about her breath will not have made her "feel like shit", as she will be well aware you were just saying it to get back at her. I understand you were upset and wanted to say something back, but it's highly unlikely to have bothered her to be honest.

Wouldn't it be a nicer world if we could all just be nice to each other......

I totally agree.

People just just live and let live!

I want to make it clear to everyone who has an issue with me being worse than her.

She mumbled under her breath twice.
3rd time she snapped and basically called my child a dog.

I said her breath stinks and encouraged her to pick up some toothpaste. *

Big deal.*

We have the 1950's style leather reins which buckle at the back and (thankfully) the only comments we've had are people telling us how cute they look.

I had no idea there was such hatred towards something designed to keep a child safe 🤔My son won't hold my hand when walking as he wants to explore. The reins allow him to do that whilst stopping him from running too far away from me.

I’d not long had surgery on my back & was going to & from Uni with my bolting year old son, through a major London train station every week or so. He was always on a lead rein.

I had so many comments (always from women) that I just taught my son to woof at them.

@girlmom21 I can’t say I agree/ have ever really seen them used like that.

And as for short leads on dogs, not sure what you mean? A proper standard length lead is far superior to those flexible leads- they are the lazy option in my opinion as the dog largely does what it wants and the owner often has little control! Can’t see how a short lead on a dog (again in an environment where they need to be under control) is a bad thing.

Good for you for responding to the rude comment, far too many people seem to have forgotten basic manners these days! Maybe she will think twice next time she shares her unwanted opinions! My eldest had reins, he was a total horror toddler and far too impulse reactive to safely just hold hands in some places. My youngest however never needed them. Both have grown into behaved, sensible young men now regardless of reins or not. However I doubt my eldest would have survived age 2 without them!! Dont give the lady another thought!

Just two words needed to this person

fuck off

I'm talking about actual short leads. If you haven't seen them that's fine.

You asked so I've shared my opinion

Having nearly tripped over bolting toddlers in shops several times, I think reins should be compulsory!

or that was what you wish you had said.

I am struggling to see the problem with reins. The alternative is for the child to be holding the adult's hand, surely that must be uncomfortable for the child to have an arm up at that angle for ages?

How's that any different from strapping a child into a buggy where it has no autonomy and it's even easier to ignore if the parent is that way inclined? Is a buggy a lazy option too?

@CaptaNoctem

why?

she deserved it