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Original poster

Did she really just say this?! WTAF?!

312 replies

Takemebacktothenorth · 11/08/2022 17:48

Hi,

I'm trying not to be outraged by this, but I just can't get my head around this womans comment!

Joined a friend app a few months a go and have actually been pleasantly surprised by it so far and have met some lovely women and made a few good friends, which was the aim, so am obviously happy.

However, I had been chatting to this woman for a few days and she sounded like an intelligent, interesting person, but when she asked what my husband did for a living and I corrected her and said "sorry, wife", she got really strange and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm really just looking for friends, which is why I'm on a friend app" 😶🤔🙄

Erm....what? 1, why would I try to find women on a friend app when there are plenty of dating apps? 2, why would I try and chat her up by telling her I had a wife?! So many whys here!!

It's absolutely ridiculous and bloody insulting! Does me having a wife mean I can't possibly have a platonic relationship with a woman?!

Just venting really.

OP posts:
AgnestaVipers · 12/08/2022 09:55

Ah, but we all know us gays have morals of ally cats and will try to fuck anything that moves,

OP, that is certainly my approach to life. I mean, just an innocent shopping trip to Lidl involves industrial quantities of lube.

Seriously, though - it sucks. People are such dicks.

Original poster
Takemebacktothenorth · 12/08/2022 10:06

@AgnestaVipers You just reminded me, I need to stock up!

OP posts:
hewouldwouldnthe · 12/08/2022 10:06

Homophobic! I would have though...oh...ok...and carried on chatting!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems
addler · 12/08/2022 10:07

Disappointing, but I guess at least you know now that's she's actually not the sort of person you'd want to be friends with anyway.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/08/2022 10:16

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 12/08/2022 09:48

If I was in that women's group you mention and you were a new member I would never even imagine that you were there to check out the talent. It's ridiculous and worrying in 2022 that people still think like this!

I mentioned upthread that a man I used to work with referred to the actress Sophie Ward as a "raving lesbian" - I think he was shocked she wasn't straight - just the word "raving" is nuts, as if sex and lots of it is all that defines a gay relationship.

Yesterday I bumped into a former colleague, who is a lesbian, who I haven't seen for 4 years. She asked if we could meet up for coffee, and I never even considered she meant anything other than coffee and a chat. Some people are weird!

Show quote history

I can only assume it comes down to massive ego

In a female activity, id assume Wombling. MIGHT be open to the prospect if theres another attractive, single, lesbian there. But the idea that she'd want ME because im so fricking irresistible, even though im straight, but even if i was a lesbian, suggests that any man i ever meet must ALSO want me because, who wouldn't?? My ego just doesn't stretch to that 🤣.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/08/2022 10:19

Anyway, given the contortions of logic people have used to defend the woman.oh op, maybe she thought you said "im looking for a wife, she'd be an X" and you were basically proposing to her so she was just being kind to set you straight.

Lucky escape @Takemebacktothenorth but what IS the app for all those frothing at your lack of reply

AgnestaVipers · 12/08/2022 10:20

The app is called We Don't Want Your Sort Here.

MaggieFS · 12/08/2022 10:33

Blimey. What an awful woman. I think the response is:

"Yes, actually you have offended me deeply. Please be aware that it is possible to be a lesbian and be friends with women without wanting to sleep with them. Hopefully you will remember this and be less offensive in future."

And never have anything to do with her again.

Simonjt · 12/08/2022 10:54

AgnestaVipers · 12/08/2022 09:55

Ah, but we all know us gays have morals of ally cats and will try to fuck anything that moves,

OP, that is certainly my approach to life. I mean, just an innocent shopping trip to Lidl involves industrial quantities of lube.

Seriously, though - it sucks. People are such dicks.

Yep! On the topic of lubc, on the other place that sounds like edit someone made a thread calling me sex obsessed because I recommended a lube, oddly enough not a single person on there made any comments about all the other contributors who were all straight. This sex mad gay with the morals of an alley cat has had sex with two people 🤣

Anyway, I’m off to buy cucumbers, aubergines, courgettes and a butternut squash.

Original poster
Takemebacktothenorth · 12/08/2022 11:13

@MaggieFS that would be a good reply, but I don't think I'm going to bother. Sometimes silence says enough.

@Simonjt, depressingly not surprised. On a separate note, you've just brought to my attention that I spelt "alley" cat wrong. That's possibly annoyed me more than the homophobia stuff 🤣

Joke, obviously.

Have fun shopping for your essentials 👍

Oh and yes, it's BFF to those desperate to know or in this case BFN(ever)

OP posts:
ShaneTwane · 12/08/2022 11:35

Wow so she really wasnt even trying to hide her ignorance was she?! Definitely just blank her you don't need to associate with people like that. Plenty more mates in the sea and all that. Also was the app named i will have to go back and look i need friends 😂

Sux2buthen · 12/08/2022 12:21

KalaniM · 11/08/2022 20:07

SleepingStandingUp hi, I don’t know, quite! Perhaps she’s a backstory of trauma from being unicorned! Maybe she is very assertive of her boundaries because of triggering, I don’t know. She might have thought OP called her “wife” as a flirtation…

Maybe she's a twat

Lndnmummy · 12/08/2022 12:59

Ffs - what a fool

voldr · 12/08/2022 13:56

The simplest explanation is usually the correct one and in this case the simplest explanation is that she is homophobic.

Yespresh · 12/08/2022 17:53

I presume this is all written down so no actual conversation? There is no emotion in the written word, we read it how we want to read it and many sentences can be read in different ways. I feel you are being too hard on the lady who was also looking for new friends. Why not ask her during a chat not call her out on here where she has no reply?

Womblingforfree · 12/08/2022 18:03

The thing here is that some women assume lesbians think like men (sorry to lump all men together here too). I don't think we do. If we join a hobby group it's to do a hobby not to tap off with someone there. It wouldnt cross our mind. We aren't on the look out for a potential shag at all moments. I imagine just the same as straight women arent. This does seem more of a male response. In my many years as a lesbian I have never hit on a straight woman and neither have my friends. But I know plenty of straight women who have flirted with lesbians or said similar to this woman (e.g. stay away from me).
So yes it's bonkers. If we wanted to date we'd go on a dating app just like anyone else.
It's really upsetting because it has limited where I've felt comfortable joining.

Carpedimum · 12/08/2022 18:15

Sapphirensteel · 11/08/2022 18:07

It’s the weird one dimensional view of anyone who is gay, they only see being gay as sexual. Not a whole, multi faceted parson. Years ago I was friends with quite a famous gay man ( since died, RIP lovely man) and I was really shocked at some of the things said to him and his partner. It was obvious from some of the ( weird) questions that some people thought they were just together for sex, not love, mutual interests, mutual support, mutual ambitions and a dozen other reasons.
Ignorant woman.

i couldn’t agree with this comment more! 👍🏻

CMZ2018 · 12/08/2022 18:23

She doesn’t want to be mates with you move on

Queenbee77 · 12/08/2022 18:26

😂uneducated person. But seriously I would just laugh....I have similar people...they live in a different century

Spaceshiphaslanded · 12/08/2022 18:37

🤣🤣🤣 she’s got screws loose. Don’t let it worry you and find another friend xxx

Mollymoostoo · 12/08/2022 18:42

Did you literally just said " sorry, wife"? She might have misunderstood and thought you were calling her your wife.
Other than that, odd statement to make, I wouldn't assume any woman or man was after me regardless of their sexuality. Very presumptious.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/08/2022 18:45

Mollymoostoo · 12/08/2022 18:42

Did you literally just said " sorry, wife"? She might have misunderstood and thought you were calling her your wife.
Other than that, odd statement to make, I wouldn't assume any woman or man was after me regardless of their sexuality. Very presumptious.

Go and read ops posts
No.
No.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/08/2022 18:46

Yespresh · 12/08/2022 17:53

I presume this is all written down so no actual conversation? There is no emotion in the written word, we read it how we want to read it and many sentences can be read in different ways. I feel you are being too hard on the lady who was also looking for new friends. Why not ask her during a chat not call her out on here where she has no reply?

You feel sorry for the women who said she assumed a married lesbian on a friendship app was presumably looking for a hook up, on no grounds other than her sexuality?

CantFindMyMarbles · 12/08/2022 18:53

YABU and over reacting.

yes it’s strange an unusual but plenty of people do use these apps for those kind of things. Just block people you don’t want to chat with.

Ballcactus · 12/08/2022 18:53

She put herself in the bin for you, what an idiot.

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