Expressions you've learned on Mumsnet which you dislike/detest

[Homewardbound2022]

On the back of the thread about expressions you love and/or make you laugh, let's see which expressions have the entirely opposite effect.

Now, call me a cold-hearted unfeeling cow, many have, but the expression which makes me want to heave is "need a handhold". God the act alone of typing it brings me out in hives.

Your turn.

Death grip.

A nasty Americanism which in reality doesn't exist.

An evil offshoot of the American Fundamentalist Christian "no fap" movement of the All Lives Matter variety: unless of course you happen to be a child trapped in a school during a shooter incident, or a handicapped person 'stealing' $5.

This just gave me a hearty laugh in the middle of the night! Hahaha

Nutritious meal. Cooked from scratch.
Holibobs
Hubby
Any other twee shit.

“Narcissist” and “Narcissistic”

Christ there’s enough of them on Mumsnet to fill up a major city. Drives me crazy. And they all accuse their mothers/sisters/best friends.

PA is overused on here as is "stealth boast", narcissist and LTB. No one talks like this in RL. Also the mysterious husbands' hobbies that are so ",outing," - what are they doing, running a juggling frog training group every Thursday night at the local village church??
And yes to the usual insults of vile, grim etc etc we need some new ones now.

The fact that so many people confuse the words "brought" and "bought", typically in the context of buying a house. How the fuck can someone so fucking dim that they write the sentence, "I brought my house" actually manage to hold down a job that pays enough to buy said house? Baffling.

But the one that really gets me? "She/he has form for ..." as though the poster had a walk-on part in The Bill, circa 1989. Is it really so hard to say, "He has a habit of/tendency to..."?

Sometimes I think MN has been infiltrated by particularly stupid "huns" 😡

Not the phrase but when someone says "you sound like a great mum, OP". I know it's meant to be reassuring but how on earth can you tell that from a single post?

So many posters who can't be just normally anxious/apprehensive about things out of their comfort zone any more (e.g. job interview, having a difficult conversation etc.). They all have "anxiety". It devalues the challenges of those with genuine mental health problems.

'Devastated', when the shop has no milk, or when a parent decides to move 10 miles up the road and may not be able to babysit as regularly

Brilliant!

This is a direct North American import; infantile and demeaning

Great thread.

"DEVASTATED" really gets to me as it seems so over the top for most of the posts it has been applied to??

AIBU to be devastated my child is starting primary school 😬

Boils my piss

lost my shit

hubby/famalam/hollibobs

sanpro

the belief that a man who wants sex with his partner is grim/gross/vile/perverted and makes a ‘fanjo dry up like the Sahara’

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet A great deal of truth in your post!! I have come to the conclusion a lot of women including myself haven't helped matters by being so obliging in life- wanting to keep everyone happy- going along with things so that they end up putting up with all kinds of shit to keep the peace and this builds massive resentment. A very kind and wise bloke I am friends with (just a genuine friend) once said that most blokes really don't want and are petrified of divorce once they have some assets- so what have you got to lose by speaking up !! - if you want to go and visit your friend for 3 days- don't ask- just tell him that's what you are doing etc,, etc. men don't usually do all this treading on eggshells - they tend to be more direct. I've noticed that women who I think are often a bit blunt and to me seem a bit demanding get a lot more respect and help from partners than I ever did by silently seething!!

What did he say when you told him you were unhappy?

Use of 'cognitive dissonance'.

And 'this/that really resonates with me'

See also “Why do you care about this?”

Toxic also overused. The fact you don’t like/don’t get on with someone doesn’t mean they are toxic.

Lush
Bloody lovely/lush

Use your words.

And what did she say when you told her…. (so passive aggressive)

Meltdown. No, you chucked a bit of a wobbler. You didn’t go into full sensory overload, caused by neurological differences.

is 'meltdown' a medical term?

@Friffle no, just the new word for throwing a tantrum.

@Friffle no, just the new word for throwing a tantrum.

This.