Expressions you've learned on Mumsnet which you dislike/detest

[Homewardbound2022]

On the back of the thread about expressions you love and/or make you laugh, let's see which expressions have the entirely opposite effect.

Now, call me a cold-hearted unfeeling cow, many have, but the expression which makes me want to heave is "need a handhold". God the act alone of typing it brings me out in hives.

Your turn.

Another one here who can't stand picky bits or a picky meal. I just picture people having a good root up their nostrils. Sorry!

*thread

Blue lighted (for eg…. DH was blue lighter to hospifal blah blah blah)

what’s wrong with DH went to the hospital in an ambulance?

Waitlisted. (For eg…. Dd is waitlisted for our 1st choice of school)

what’s wrong with Dd is on the waiting list?

Expressions you've learned on Mumsnet which you dislike/detest

I hate it when people say they despise something when it seems they mean dislike or detest.

So great thread title

Oh this made me laugh - my biggest MN pet peeve also.

Lovely Tubular Bells?

You forgot 'creepy'

Yes, that as well.

Boundaries

In the old days that would be having standards

Add 'gaslighting' to this. Or as it used to be known - 'lying', presumably before someone read a book somewhere and decided that 'lying' wasn't quite grandiose, special, and attention-seeking enough to describe exactly the same thing.

"DH, did you eat the last bag of Quavers?"

"No"

OMG WHAT A GASLIGHTING SHITBAG. LTB etc etc etc

"didn't want to read and run" - No one gives a flying fuck! If you didn't post, the OP would be none the wiser. They can't see you reading and then closing the page! No one gives a fuck if you read and run. No one cares. You are not that important so get over yourself.

So many others, like "proper". Proper laugh, proper angry etc. What is this OBSESSION with the word 'proper' on here? Does the word 'really' (I really laughed, I'm really angry) not exist in these peoples' world?

However the biggest one of all is the broken English people on here use. The ungrammatical use of "was sat" or "I am sat". There is even a current thread with the title "sat in car on a campsite" and in it, "are sat in car"
Does the word SITTING no longer exist in the English language? I am asking because I am really curious why people desperately avoid the word "sitting". I am sat/I was sat - WTF is up with that? The same with "stood". I was stood/I am stood. Does the word STANDING no longer exist in the English language?

Massive salad
Filling salad
Lovely salad
Anything that refers to salad in a positive way!

Nutritious and cook from scratch

No is a complete sentence. Technically yes, but only if you’re rude

Even worse when someone replies with "Oh my love" or "Oh sweetheart".

I always imagine the poster who replies like that as Coronation Street's Gail, Audrey or Rita!

I was hounded by a pack of amateur sleuths on speed demanding to know why my post "made no sense" to them.

At least it gave me something else to be upset about other than loosing our home.

I also found the many posters accusing those worried about the recent heatwave of being "hysterical" odd. A mass stealth boast about how much calmer and more resilient they were...unsupportive and unpleasant.

Brillaint!😂

I agree with you, but anything that mentions farts gets some posters v excited.

Typo alert. Brilliant!

I also hate:

Division of labour
Mental load
Life admin
Emotional bandwidth

There also seems to be a disproportionate amount of 'cross' people on MN.

I've never met anyone in real life who gets 'cross'.

Seems like a waste of energy to me. Get absolutely fucking ragin' or just get over it.

Loosing instead of lose. When you lose something it has set itself loose and it is lost.

Run! Run like the wind, OP. All a bit Cathy & Heathcliff, if you ask me...

Yes. This is one of the worst.

Also:

• "I have no advice but didn't want to read and run". Usually the first commenter on a post where OP is really looking for advice.

• When talking about wedding invites, "it's an invite, not a summons".

Verbs being used as nouns.

“Makes my teeth itch”. Teeth can’t itch….

putting no at the end of a sentence to turn it into a question.
But fat people need to eat less and do more no?

Bore off - makes no sense, how does one bore off?
Also;
Do fuck off do - why all the do's? What's wrong with plain old fuck off? And if we get do bore off do I have to stop reading!

and don’t forget it’s friend sentence: “but hopefully someone will be along soon with some advice”

So "I have no advice but didn't want to read and run, but hopefully someone will be along soon with some advice” 😑

another one that annoys me:
”at the risk of outing myself” or “I have name changes because it is too outing”

also “naice” no one speak like that in real life

DS = is it dear son or dear sister?!

@Savingpeoplehuntingthings The extra 'D' is for dear, not do. The saying is Do fuck off, dear (DFOD).

I know people hate 'didn't want to read & run', but it actually had a purpose back in the days when all of this was fields. You used to see how many people had viewed a thread. So you might get 2k views, but no replies which would make you feel even worse. 'Didn't want to read & run' was just a nice way of letting the OP know they weren't shouting into a void. It is redundant now though.

My hated word is 'screamed'. So many posters use it when they mean 'raised their voice'. Whenever I see something like 'MIL screamed at me about my shoes' I just imagine MIL doing an operatic 'AAAAAAAAAHHHHH' at the OP.