Expressions you've learned on Mumsnet which you dislike/detest

[Homewardbound2022]

On the back of the thread about expressions you love and/or make you laugh, let's see which expressions have the entirely opposite effect.

Now, call me a cold-hearted unfeeling cow, many have, but the expression which makes me want to heave is "need a handhold". God the act alone of typing it brings me out in hives.

Your turn.

@redskyatnight
*Confronted.

In MN land nobody has a normal conversation any more. If you disagree with someone you have to "confront" them.

See also "call them out"*

Totally agree with this. And in the same vein, people saying 'dump them' about friends or 'pulling' children out of school if there are problems. It makes people's lives seem like episodes of East Enders. Does anyone really act that aggressively ? I get that people have to deal with shitty situations and there's no point being nice and kind to people who have done bad stuff to you but if you go around confronting, calling out and dumping instead of actually telling people what's wrong or discussing stuff then your life is going to get an awful lot worse.

I suspect people talk like that on MN (but not in RL) because it sounds more exciting.

Boundaries

In the old days that would be having standards

The gradual overuse of "Super" 😫

“Give your head a wobble”
“oh, give over OP”
”the ick”
“LTB”
“Batshit”
“Drip feed”
”PITA”

Definitely.

Grim, everything is bloody grim, I don’t know anyone that says it in real life and I hate it! Dirty washing up water is grim, something someone does is not grim! Maybe wrong or dirty or shit but not grim!

gives me the ick
give your head a wobble
need a handhold
naice

"I say this gently"

Usually means you're going to come out with something patronising or judgemental.

Rip them a new one..... utterly awful

I know this is slightly off topic but people that can not read and understand i.e

'DC are 5 and 7'

Many, many different posters asking the same question 'how old are the children'?

Whenever threads are about family sayings
Shit with sugar on

I don't mind 'need a handhold' usually night time, only outlet, be it in labour or sitting with a dying loved one. I can't get wound up about that.

LTB riles me. Also the assumption that someone is cheating because they have changed routine/shower gel/pants.

I don't really like cunty chops.

However if calling someone out on a lie I do like Fanny Batter!

Posters listing suggested baby names is usually very awkward. That's a read and run before posting.

Posters like myself who get caught up in the drivel.

Me.

Posters who end up making it all about themselves.

I don't mind 'handhold', it's usually someone in a sad or stressful place.

My mind conjours up an image of someone running down the road, reading MN on their phone.

It makes me think "I hope you bump into a fucking lamp post" 🤗😂

I do a mild eye roll when someone states a fairly mainstream opinion and then acts like it's controversial by following it up with a <ducks and runs for cover> or <dons hard hat>

I don’t mind all the little phrases people have if the tone is in jest/meant genuinely. Often enjoy it and have a little chuckle to myself if its well timed or a new one I’ve not heard.

I can’t abide the increasingly passive aggressive nature of (some posters) on MN though. So for me its not what you say but how it’s said and intent.

Also just remembered ‘snapped and farted’ as though it was the funniest thing to have ever happened in the history of humanity.

I remember the original thread - it was at best just a vaguely amusing typo.

I also hate the fake wide-eyed 'is this a thing now'? When it clearly isn't because it's something very unusual.

"I passed a teenage girl in the park with a pickled onion on her head. Is this a thing now?"

🙄

I don’t think it was a typo. I think the poster went on to explain she had IBS and farts when she is stressed . . .

Also hate "I'm going to go against the grain here". As if that poster is so very controversial and wise.

I also hate the use of 'think'. Used in an attempt to be vague or mysterious about something that means pretty much shit all if actually revealed.

'I've recently started a new job. Think marketing'

Watch yourself there, OP. I almost have all the information I need to bring your career, company, and entire industry to its knees.

When people start by validating their long-term status with things like "penis beaker".

DFOD

and the one about "get to the far side of fuck and then fuck off more". So annoying

All the DD, DH, DS, DP, DGP etc

1. We assume they are dear to you
2. DS is confusing (son or sister)
3. DD5, your fifth daughter or your daughter is five?
4. It doesn't save that much time, just write out who you mean

'Doing his hobby'

DDog and Dcat are even worse.

@liliainterfrutices i stand corrected! Here is the original friend if anyone is interested www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/3277729-Embarrassed-by-boyfriend?postsby=DogDmor

(I still don’t get it? It’s just not that funny?!)