Expressions you've learned on Mumsnet which you dislike/detest

[Homewardbound2022]

On the back of the thread about expressions you love and/or make you laugh, let's see which expressions have the entirely opposite effect.

Now, call me a cold-hearted unfeeling cow, many have, but the expression which makes me want to heave is "need a handhold". God the act alone of typing it brings me out in hives.

Your turn.

Any mention of a man having the temerity to desire sex with his partner, invariably met with a slew of -

"vile", "grim", and my personal favourite of all the utterly banal and inane responses - "urgh".

Presumably mumsnetters' ideal universe is one where absolutely everyone is asexual and all men are eunochs.

You forgot 'creepy'.

I hate ‘crack on’. A SARS virus spreading? Crack on. Housing crisis? Crack on. Public services in the toilet? Let’s crack on. I don’t want to crack on, I came online for a moan, not to hear the same old Daily Mail drivel I can hear anywhere.

LTB

"My husband didn't put the seat down."
MN: "LTB"

"My DH bought me a mint cornetto instead of a strawberry one."
MN: "LTB"

"My DP blinked too many times yesterday."
MN: "LTB"

Oh God yes to 'handhold'. For some reason it really makes me cringe.

Even worse when someone replies with "Oh my love" or "Oh sweetheart".

Yes know they're only trying to be nice but it comes across as quite patronising and insincere.

"I'm going to go against the grain here"

Normally said by someone who hasn't read the fucking thread and seen how many people have already said the same thing.

‘I couldn’t get worked up about it’ and the weird phrasing of ‘the car needs washed’, ‘the kids need picked up’, ‘tea needs cooked’; who actually speaks like that?! I’ve heard it defended as a Scottish thing but no way are even most of the posters who writ like that actually Scottish. The car needs A wash or TO BE washed, the kids need TO BE picked up. Genuinely makes my skin crawl when I read it and doesn’t help that it’s EVERYWHERE on mumsnet (and nowhere else)

Agree with handhold, so pathetic.

All the DH, DD, DS business, especially when you mean a short word like mum, dad or son.

“No is a complete sentence”. Well it might be, Susan, but it makes you sound like a dickhead. Which I keep thinking is what DH stands for.

’HTH’

Dropped a few lines under a really passive aggressive reply

😂😂

I think a lot of posters have no idea how controlling and unhinged they come across when they think they are some sort of victim in their relationship and put 'boundaries' in place

Im reminded of that by 'no is a complete sentence'

Ive never seen it anywhere else, its hilarious!!

‘This too shall pass’ so twee and smug sounding, rather than practical advice.

As mentioned by others ‘No is a complete sentence’.

‘Did you mean to be so rude’.
I actually feel quite warm towards the ‘need a handhold’ posts. Don’t like ‘unmumsnetty hug’, but it comes from a good place. I’ve been called sweetheart on here and again quite liked it. It’s a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that gets posted.

i think "didn't want to read and run" is the worst if you have no practical advice to give, when the poster is clearly looking for advice

I mainly see "handhold" in the middle of the night UK time, as the board has about 85%+ of its population in the UK and Ireland and can be dead at certain times overnight. People often ask for a handhold when they feel alone and just want to know that someone's out there and willing engage, even if they have no good expert advice. I think it's appropriate on a forum like this which is a place for (among other purposes) women to support women. If anyone finds that pathetic, then maybe skip those posts.

A post above reminded me that what I AM surprised to see so much on a (mainly) women for women forum: "hysterical", which is pretty widely acknowledged now, outside of a clinical context, as a misogynist dogwhistle. Not so fond of "cow" or "mare" either, when used for to criticise human women.

@NancyDrooo 😂
@TeapotTitties exactly. And attention-seeking.

Confronted.

In MN land nobody has a normal conversation any more. If you disagree with someone you have to "confront" them.

See also "call them out".

I HATE ‘this too shall pass’. I was in a fair few parenting groups on Facebook when my DC were little and this was always said to mums genuinely struggling with feeding, or their babies’ sleep…….literally everything passes, forgive me for not feeling comforted by that when I’ve not had more than 45 mins sleep at a time for the last 12 months and my baby has stopped napping during the day.

That's on you.

Awful. Is this an American import?

@TiredestOfAll exactly!! It’s not comforting whatsoever!

Marrying the mistress just created a vacancy..

NO IT DOESN'T !!

Sometimes if people marry the wrong person because of outside influences..

First marriage 2 years .

Second marriage (to the mistress ) 27 years.. ..five kids and absolutely perfect.

BD for sex. Are we that infantile/coy we can't talk about sex? What the fuck have dancing babies got to do with it? That one proper gives me the ick 🤮🤮

Indeed. All grown up using a new word

“Read and run” aka my life is so fast paced, full and interesting I cannot possibly take 2 mins to give you some support but have enough time to make me feel superior about acknowledging how shit your life is..