Expressions you've learned on Mumsnet which you dislike/detest

[Homewardbound2022]

On the back of the thread about expressions you love and/or make you laugh, let's see which expressions have the entirely opposite effect.

Now, call me a cold-hearted unfeeling cow, many have, but the expression which makes me want to heave is "need a handhold". God the act alone of typing it brings me out in hives.

Your turn.

I don't think this is specific to MN, but I see it on here more than I ever hear it anywhere else.

Being 'full of cold'

Makes me heave if I think about it too much.

People deliberately using wrong spelling!!
Fir instead of for…makes me cringe TBH !

"(I don't want to) read and run" is most often used by posters who are aware that a kind of desperate poster (most often on the middle of the night UK time when the traffic is, statistically, very low) is looking for anyone out there who can relate, or just any human touchpoint. People say "I don't want to read and run" when they've looked at a post and can't help, but want to assure the poster that she's heard and that her post is out there and will get responses. I understand why someone would not "get" the need for this, but not everyone is you, and you have no idea how isolated some people may be or feel.

Why does this bother you so much?

'Spends' for spending money, and its associated word, 'spendy'.

'Went out with DP but he didn't bring much by way of spends even tho he'd picked a spendy bar so not for the first time I ended up having to buy all his drinks and loosing my shit. Should I LTB?'

it bothers me due to the total lack of any effort even to point of using the nonsensical expression .. are you running? Really?

why not take a second longer to personalise message to address person’s specific need? May as well leave a thumbs up for the coldness it implies ..

THAT is what I hate. The blatant anti North-Americanisms.

I don't believe that. It is not for the benefit of the OP. It's just so the responder can make themselves look good. It's self-indulgent and I and others see through it.

'Gives me the ick'
and
'wanna'
I don't care if they're supposedly acceptable or not.
Just awful and a race to the bottom with the English language.
The country is becoming a joke.

Makes me feel sick.
Want to.

The need a handhold threads never get opened.

Give your head a wobble is also yuck.

Fixed it for you is so patronising and rude and often they get so carried away with their “fixes” that they make mistakes. Ha ha.

I once read 'front bottom' on here used as a euphamism for vagina which shrivelled my toes in irritation.

Also hate :
Mental load - they then invariably go on to talk about things which have to be done once or twice a year at most.
No is a complete sentence - it usually isn't.
People who don't read the full thread and bang on about stuff that has already been dealt with. Makes them look like planks.

I don’t use “read and run” myself but I see it as a kindly message, used when someone needs help and the poster wants to acknowledge them but genuinely doesn’t have time for a full reply.

1. The gentle explainers! Usually gently explaining to their mother that everything she knows about childcare is in fact wrong. 'my mum wants to hold my baby' 'Gently explain to her that research has shown that unless baby is held by the mother 97.65% of the time, there will be no bond'

1. Sleepy cues and wake windows.

1. Confused used to mean I don't agree with. 'My DH says baked beans and bananas taste great together. I am confused' or worse, 'I am confused why some people feed their children junk food'

When people post "can't say what the hobby is as it would be outing "

Or

Name changed for this post as outing as I have friends/family on here. This bugs me because it's the situation that's outing not the name. So surely your friend/family member will still know that it's you. Same with the hobby.

You don't have to work in intelligence to work out if you know a situation or not. I just imagine people sat at home reading a post saying, well that can't be Sandra from next door even though the exact same thing happened to her only yesterday/today as it's a different name to what I know her on mumsnet 🤔

When's step parent posts about an issue going on and immediately 'you don't like your step child very much' or when someone posts pictures in some awful outfit and there that one person who always writes along the lines of 'I think you missed the mark of class there'

Haven't seen it recently, but I hate cray cray . It sounds like you're talking to a toddler, who can't yet cope with words with more than one different syllable. I've been told on here that "lots of people say it". Fortunately I've never met any of those people and I hope they stay pretty fucking far away.

Name changed for this post as outing as I have friends/family on here. This bugs me because it's the situation that's outing not the name. So surely your friend/family member will still know that it's you. Same with the hobby.

They'll know it's you, but they won't know your usual handle, so they won't be able to do an advanced search and find out that you had an argument in the queue in Lidl, you're thinking of leaving your husband for his skidmarks in the bog, you've pissed your friend off because you've put on weight and now can't fit into your bridesmaid's dress or whatever else you might have posted under your usual handle.

Naice

hate that "word" with a passion.

How on earth would it make them look good?

When posters sarcastically refer to annoying/cheating partners as ‘a prize’ “well he sounds like a real prize”

hubby 🤮

Boils my piss. 🤮

Bloody hate all the DH/DS nonsense. Partly because the full expression is so cringeful.
Hun. I would have to de-friend in real life.
Boils my piss
Give your head a wobble
Naive
Overuse of red flags etc
But most of all - use of 'baby' without 'the', as in 'you won't be able to put baby down for the first decade of his life'. I'd probably overlook it from a health visitor but it really irritates me.

Naice not naive...

Lots of these are really truly annoying, but surely not asking for a handhold.

From what I see, it is usually posted by someone scared, unwell or alone, often all three. It's actually a really easy way to frame a request for some human contact at a difficult time. It shorthands a load of explanations, and costs nothing to those who reply. How can that be a terribly annoying thing? Seriously, I can't actually understand what is wrong with it. If this thread puts someone off of asking for that help, that's sad.

Anyway, the Boils My... I can't even type it.

My apologies that came across that way. Didn't mean to offend, sorry!
It is simply the expression which I don't like, but I first read it on here and was curious as to its provenance.

Life admin
Why does this bother you? (When the poster has just explained why in their own post)
Unmumsnetty anything
Vile
Hubby/hubby/hubster
Holibobs
Penis beaker nonsense
The ick
Makes me cringe
Faux superiority

There are so many. 😂