Things that happened to you that you thought would never happen to someone like you?

[besentsl]

Me… abortion. Thought it happened to other women.

Later on a single parent. Was not at all what I thought I would allow to happen but of course you learn life isn’t like that! Many people said they couldn’t believe it had happened as I’m quite conservative and careful but it did!

Sometimes I don’t recognise me though I am still me. Anyone else experienced this?

I never thought I'd be a single parent, although I'm not surprised I am.

Dating in my 40s and 50s it makes me laugh really as I ventured into the dating world for the first time at 46. I have done so many ridiculous things. (met my exH at 18).

Finding myself in the most toxic relationship I've ever seen (for me or my friends) - I was truly in a soap opera for some of it - I cannot believe that I got mixed up with such a sociopath. It left me traumatised, with ptsd and (silver lining) quite a bit lighter. I look back on those years and just can't believe what I went through. (and what I put myself through).

And on a positive note, after that I have somehow ended up in a job which has given me so many opportunities - I pinch myself sometimes when I'm doing some of the stuff I get to do or meeting the people I get to meet. I also don't recognise myself sometimes.

I know how you feel - I am lucky enough to have some relatives left but the closest ones are now either dead or stopped talking to everyone (me included). It can't be helped but the sadness quietly hangs around interminably, like drying plaster in a new build.

On the upside, re the original question - I am happily married - I feel lucky every day. I came from a family of divorces and arguing and sniping, and never quite believed such a thing was possible.

And, also, we are comfortably off - and again, when I was growing up, money was so tight - I was always expecting a succession of misfortunes reducing me to straitened means, but in the end I was careful and lucky and, no yacht or Aston Martin or anything, but...I can afford stuff. Buy new underpants or a coffee at any time!!
I still worry about something going wrong and ending up shivering in one room and living off carrot and lentil stew, but so far so good...

Having a miscarriage at 17 weeks pregnant. I’m naturally pessimistic and so was always aware of the chance of a miscarriage in the first trimester. But after a 12 week scan where everything was normal and healthy I stopped thinking about miscarriage risk. So miscarrying when I was starting to think ahead to the 20 week scan, starting to buy baby bits & pieces really knocked me for six. Thankfully I went on to have two healthy pregnancies.

@KimWexlersPonyTail I am doing ok thanks, now Secondary Progressive, but
I keep positive. Won’t be sorry to see the back of this heatwave though! I hope you are doing ok too.

I was so surprised I got divorced then also very shocked when diagnosed with a chronic condition in my 40s - always had great health.

However also amazed I have two perfect children, love my job and never get tired of it and have found love and happiness with someone completely different.

Losing both parents weeks apart while they were only in their sixties. Though the more people I speak to - the more common I realise it is…

Bankrupt

Having a child with SN. It was devastating initially but actually he’s fab!

My H having an affair and leaving. Thought I’d chosen well and ‘safely.’ He barely sees his DS. Prick.

Become a mum to 3 boys. My family have a history of lots of girls and virtually no boys for generations. I just assumed I would have girls so got a pleasant surprise to find out I was having boys. I had no experience of boys so it's been a learning journey but I have loved it.

Wife of a local GP (with Volvo and all the trimmings! Yay!) who sexually abused our daughter for 5 years. He’s in prison now.
Couldn’t see that one coming.
I’ve been through a lot. But that one has really really really REALLY kicked my ass.

My third child died of leukaemia aged just 2 last year.

I had a cousin die of leukaemia as a child and no way in hell did I ever consider I could lose a child to it myself

Lose my 19 year old brother in a freak accident.

Be a victim of domestic abuse.

Going to prison

This is so sad. I’m so sorry.

Some really tragic experiences here 🌹

Mine are good things - when I was young I never would have dreamt of having a home and family like I have. Nothing fancy, just feels like home and we all care about each other

Depression
Being a single parent
Being as overweight as I am now
Feeling as lonely as I do now

On the positive side

I never imagined Id own my own home and have such a lovely garden.
To have a pet of my own.
To have enough savings to consider booking a holiday abroad next year.

So many things -

Being homeless - parents had a turbulent relationship and me and mum had to leave a violent home shortly after their 25th wedding anniversary with literally nowhere to go, and no money. We had a cat under 1 arm and a dog on a lead too.

Being a single mum from 6 months pregnant and never trusting any man again.

Having a disabled child and all that goes with it. People posting their child’s achievements online breaks my heart a little bit more every day.

God this is depressing ! I’m actually incredibly happy with my lot in life so it shows that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger !

My husband having a major stroke two months ago which is life changing, probably life limiting and the shattering affect this has had to us all in every way possible. Still in hospital and I'm likely still in shock. He was young, fit and healthy.

I'm so sorry to read such awful experiences here x

Having children out of wedlock (I grew up with religious parents so it surprised everyone)

Getting a chronic illness and then subsequently divorcing my husband after 22 years of marriage,

Same

not me, but a childhood friend with 2 siblings, lovely family with everything going for them, good looking, great careers, loads of friends. until brother died of MND in 40's, sister in 30's developed psychosis and diagnosed schizophrenic. my friend assumed carer role for both, has had no life since and 99% of all their "friends" disappeared. I dont know how she copes as she also supports both parents in their 90's who couldnt cope with it all

Losing my parents before I turned 33.
My DM missed meeting her first GC by 7 weeks. I always pictured going to carol services, kids sports games and fun days with them. They would have been the best grandparents. I miss them so much.

A missed miscarriage which was revealed at the 12 week scan. Showed us how much we wanted a baby and incredibly lucky to have fallen pregnant again soon after. Expecting our rainbow soon