Things that happened to you that you thought would never happen to someone like you?

[besentsl]

Me… abortion. Thought it happened to other women.

Later on a single parent. Was not at all what I thought I would allow to happen but of course you learn life isn’t like that! Many people said they couldn’t believe it had happened as I’m quite conservative and careful but it did!

Sometimes I don’t recognise me though I am still me. Anyone else experienced this?

Another one who didn't think I'd be childless. Thought like all the women in my family who have multiple children, I'd also get pregnant quite quickly. Years later, fertility treatment and IVF, never seen a positive pregnancy test.

And to continue, being declined NHS MH services, receiving no support whatsoever from CAMHS or GP to find a suitable child and adolescent psychiatrist, being yelled at by a nurse when I refused to allow DD to be admitted overnight after the smallest of imaginable for a CAMHS review and reported to SS. Realising that if we hadn't had BUPA and an extra £6k, DD wouldn't have been able to obtain a diagnosis and appropriate medication to be able to get back on track aged 17.

To have such severe osteoporosis that I have broken five bones in five years.

On a happier note and like a poster above, I dreamt of having a detached house with a guest room and my own little car when I grew up and married someone like a Bank Manager or GP. I didn't expect to marry someone who would become stonkingly successful.

Same about being fat. Was never fat until thyroid issues post children. I don't recognise myself in the mirror and it's miserable.

Also being a victim of domestic abuse. I was clueless, my parents had such a good happy marriage that I naively ignored all the red flags

Same about being fat. Was never fat until thyroid issues post children. I don't recognise myself in the mirror and it's miserable.

Also being a victim of domestic abuse. I was clueless, my parents had such a good happy marriage that I naively ignored all the red flags

Having my fit healthy 38 Yr old brother who refused the covid vaccine to die from covid after a 6 month admission in ICU and in that time for our dad to fall unwell and pass away too. We as adults had never experienced loss/grieving like this, let alone all our young children, just traumatic.

Acquiring a health condition at 40 that meant I could no longer work / drive / look after my kids without assistance.

Related: becoming essentially housebound. I was always incredibly active.

Be a victim of domestic abuse. To the point where I was largely in denial about it whilst it was happening.

Getting a chronic illness in my mid 30's that would mean I'd be unable to work and mostly housebound.

Such a headfuck for someone who'd always been fiercely independent and active..

@SweetSakura and @Deadringer same about being fat. I was always tiny growing up, could never understand how people got fat. I don't recognise myself in the mirror any more, nothing fits, I'm avoiding meeting up with people I used to work with and I hate having my photo taken.

Having to have a TFMR after bad news at a 12 week scan - never ever entered my mind that I'd ever have to make a decision like that. I was only 23 and had already had one healthy happy pregnancy and birth.

That was three years ago and I've had two more thankfully healthy babies since, but it still feels really strange thinking back to our experiences in and out of hospital during that time. Feels like it happened to someone else.

Becoming disabled at 17. Even now, 25 years later I have moments of thinking 'has this actually happened to me? Is this actually my life?'.

Having a daughter that doesn’t speak to me or even text for weeks on end.

Unplanned pregnancy and a dull relationship of convenience that I couldn’t be. Othered to initiate a way out of.

In a better way, a corporate-ish job. I always thought I’d do something creative or not standard 9-5.

*couldn’t be bothered

Losing my mum very suddenly at the age of 18. I'd never known anyone before who had died and I kept thinking at the time it was all a dream. Some days it still doesn't feel real, 30 years on

@sweetsakura, snap. I have become fat after having thyroid issues after birth of third child. I used to be a size 12 now 22 after years of GP only giving me minimal amount of Thyroxine.

My ds being diagnosed with cancer at 16 months old. Being on a child oncology ward and seeing children pass away from cancer. It will never leave me.

Having a disabled child.

Having a school refuser and being hauled into school over it for years.

Plenty of eyeing my eyes to sky and asking "why me?" But the reality is is that stuff happens, so therefore has to happen to someone

Being overweight.(Nickname at school was Thin Lizzie)

Having a child with a cardiac abnormality requiring multiple surgery

Being widowed when pregnant. Felt like a war movie plot.

Finding Ms Absolutely Right in my mid 40s.
Mostly due to being with her, living in a very nice house (not fancy, but attractive London terrace)
Getting incurable cancer - in my mid 60s, so not nearly as bad as for younger people, but I'd assumed I'd be healthy all my life and live into my 90s!

being widowed

Working in a supermarket!
(TBH it's a better job in many ways than my former professional career.)

Great idea for a thread!

For me, the good things have been getting married, having a DC and having a job I actually enjoy. My parents both loathed their jobs and I grew up thinking that was just normal. Also genuinely didn't think anyone would want to marry me

As for bad... there have been a few nasty things over the years, but nothing life changing. Which worries me tbh, because I can't get past the fear that my bad luck is going to be something huge when it finally catches up with me.

💫 💫