Things that happened to you that you thought would never happen to someone like you?

[besentsl]

Me… abortion. Thought it happened to other women.

Later on a single parent. Was not at all what I thought I would allow to happen but of course you learn life isn’t like that! Many people said they couldn’t believe it had happened as I’m quite conservative and careful but it did!

Sometimes I don’t recognise me though I am still me. Anyone else experienced this?

I was 19 when I buried my child. You never think it'll happen to you until it does.

On a happier note, I never thought I'd own a house with 3 times as many bedroom as we need, or have a lovely healthy DD and a loving husband

Being chronically ill and living a life that is basically like a constant lockdown fir the last 20 years or so.
(Genuinely, my life was hardly different than usual during the various lockdowns).

I have very conflicting feelings about that.

Having a house with a garden - albeit a small garden

That people want to be in my company. I was bullied mercilessly at high school and it took decades to shake off the words and the idea that I was unlikeable and there was something abhorrently wrong with me

That infidelity would play a part in my marriage. I expected arguments, financial troubles etc. Infidelity was never on my radar and it has damaged me to the core. So much so that I am unsure if I can ever let my guard down with a man again. Happy to entertain fwb situations but this would need to be all on my terms.

That I would tolerate domestic abuse in a relationship. My ex enjoyed seeing how far he could push me - kicked me, sent me to sleep in spare room when I irritated him. He smirked when I cried, put me down, gas lighted me. It took two years to leave but I did.

That I would move into management. Did not believe I had leadership traits.

That I would allow long term friends to take me for granted until I eventually cut contact.

It never occured to me my child would be out of school for long periods and be part time schooled when a vaguely suitable school was found.

I though you ever went to mainstream or special school.

i didnt know there were huge gaps in provision and literally 1000s of children were without placements or in very unsuitable part time placements

Being diagnosed with breast cancer at 49. Totally knocked me for six, as I've never smoked and no family history of it, ever! I was incredibly lucky that it was caught very early, so didn't need chemotherapy. Just had radiotherapy + Tamoxifen. Also had therapeutic breast reduction & lift, so my boobs are better now than when I was 25 (every cloud, etc).

I've always been very upbeat and out going with bags of self confidence. So crushing anxiety + depression arriving, seemingly, out of nowhere when I was 43 was a helluva shock! I saw 3 GPs and even a psychiatrist, but no one knew what was wrong with me. Eventually saw a private consultant who diagnosed hormonal anxiety/depression caused by peri menopause. He cured me within 8 weeks via HRT and most likely saved my life.

Finally, staying in love with DH for all of my life. I kinda assumed that after we got married the passion and excitement would gradually fade into something nicely familiar, but essentially beige...........nope, never happened. Still madly in love with each other and still crazy passionate - and married for just over 20 years! It's never once felt beige.

That I would succeed in the way I did
That I would be very hard working and energetic-I was a lazy teen
That I would be single over a year- I live lice, I love relationships, my whole view of life was based around being in one.
That I wouldn’t be skinny all my life.

I love love haha I don’t have lice!

I am older than you but I can totally relate to that.
There is always this dream that somehow things will become different and ‘normal’ again (it won’t)

Having a disabled child
having two different types of cancer
it genuinely never crossed my mind - I thought these things happened to other people.As I am now older and a bit wiser I realise truly terrible things happen to lots of people and some have awful decisions to make which will affect them forever

Becoming a LL. When I was a child we always rented as parents could not afford to buy. Bought house with DH but marriage broke down. I ended up with share of equity. Met someone new who had his own house. We got married he put my name on his house deeds and I put my equity into new deposit for new house for us, about equal. We rented his old house out. I inherited some money from my Aunt and kept saving. I saw how much money coming in from btl and thought I'd invest the small inheritance and my savings into deposit for another house. Repeat, repeat until now I have 8 btl houses, 2 holiday homes one with 7 bedrooms, with no mortgage, our main 6 bedroom home only has 20 more months left to pay on mortgage. House prices have shot up over last 15 years until I have well over a million in equity now and well on way to second million. I still have to pinch myself sometimes that I have done this and don't have to scrimp anymore. I would never have believed in a million years I would become well off financially.

Being dx with Multiple Sclerosis at 40, a total and utter shock, I had two young children at the time.

Also being a victim of domestic abuse. I was clueless, my parents had such a good happy marriage that I naively ignored all the red flags

Same here @SweetSakura

An ectopic pregnancy. Miscarriage is common, that’s always worried me and I expected it might happen but ectopics not so much. There are a list of things that raise your risk of having them and none of them applied to me.

@besentsl
Same OP. I’m a single mum and I never ended up finding a nice man to settle down with. Never thought I’d have an abortion and now I’ve had 2. I knew other girls who had them when I was younger and never thought it would be me. Sometimes I sit here and can’t believe I did it, it’s like it was a different person.

Doing well in my career, despite not having gone to university.

And when I was in primary school, we visited a museum in central London. I said “One day I’m going to live on this street.” And I do!

Being diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder after having a psychotic breakdown.

Sadly not having children. (For various reasons). I really thought I would have at least 2.

Being nearly 14st - I was just under 10 for years and never thought I would get overweight.

DisBled child
Single mum
No support
No friends

Firstly just what a great idea for a thread

Having cancer - was young fit and healthy. I really do think genes play a far larger part in cancer than is ever acknowledged in all the public health messaging.
Surviving cancer - 20 years survivor
Having children after cancer never ever thought that would happen
Owning a nice house - thought that was for other people

Lots of others but might be outed so will leave it at that!

So many sad stories on here..

• I never thought that I'd get cancer


• I never thought I'd develop a bust! I was always so skinny when I was younger, but now I'm older and fatter, I looked down one day and thought 'hello boys'!


• I honestly could never imagine myself older than about 40. Where did the time go??


• I never thought that I would be such a crap picker of husbands and that my marriages would all be a disaster

That gave me joy 😀

Teenage pregnancy. I was a straight A student and very sensible, not wild in the slightest, didn't even have very much sex (!)

But I later found out I have ADHD and girls with ADHD have a phenomenally high teenage pregnancy rate. I had no idea. I wish I had known my chances were so high.

Being a victim of domestic abuse too. Threads on here in my old name!
Escaped though, lovely house and garden and have somehow managed to collect some fabulous friends!

Having my house repossessed. Being a single parent. Having to claim JSA. After working for DWP for 34 years. Having to wait 5 months for a payment (Thank God parents could support me) Breaking my back and not getting any treatment. All a long time ago now but still.........

Infertility. I thought thst at 34 I still had time to get pregnant naturally, how wrong I was. After ivf and miscarriages I had DS, but I never thought I would go through all that. I thought that being healthy would help, it doesn't really make much difference.

I never thought the love of my life would die before we'd even started out.
I never thought I'd fall in love so completely ever again 🥰 I found him though.