Things that happened to you that you thought would never happen to someone like you?

[besentsl]

Me… abortion. Thought it happened to other women.

Later on a single parent. Was not at all what I thought I would allow to happen but of course you learn life isn’t like that! Many people said they couldn’t believe it had happened as I’m quite conservative and careful but it did!

Sometimes I don’t recognise me though I am still me. Anyone else experienced this?

Being single for life by choice and loving it!

My childhood was a traumatising shit show. We were well-off but that’s the only good thing I can say about it. There was addiction, neglect, emotional and physical abuse. Horrendous.

I left home at 18 and never went back.

Wasted all of my 20s in a relationship with and emotionally abusive, coercively controlling prick. I just thought that that was my lot in life and that good things happened to other people.

Eventually I got free of that relationship, went travelling and met DH.

And now I am really happy and have a lovely family and life. I never believed it was possible. Still have to pinch myself sometimes.

“Dear Miss PlanetNormal, We are delighted to offer you a place at our university to study…”

I grew up in the 1980s on a council estate in a shithole ex-mining town in Derbyshire and went to a bog standard comprehensive school. I was one of only a handful of people in my year, and the first person in my family to go to university. This was long before the era of mass higher education, and university definitely wasn’t for people like us. The opportunity changed my life.

Never thought I’d be in my 30s and have 0 friends. Always had plenty in my 20s. From having a kid, then family illness and the. lockdown I’ve ended up with no one. I’ve given up trying now. It’s very lonely at times.

That I'd be in a relationship partly because I can't afford to be single - I always fantasied about living alone in a nice apartment or a cottage with a few pets and loads of books. I studied for a professional career which earns decent money, so just assumed this would be possible one day.

But I can barely afford to live in a house share. I got to my mid 30s and just could not cope living in a flat with 2-3 other people coming and going at all times, offloading all their emotional burdens on me, and having to hold onto my bowel and bladder functions while someone spends an hour in the only bathroom. So I gave in, got a boyfriend, and rented a place with him. He's a lovely guy and my best friend, but in my heart of hearts I yearn to live alone.

My relative being murdered in a random attack in a quiet village. It was 14 years ago and I sometimes feel like the trial is something that I watched on TV, rather than experienced personally.

Obesity - I realise that this didn’t happen to me so much as I made it happen myself, but I always thought that there was no way I could end up that big, and couldn’t understand how people managed it.

i topped the scales at 19st, but back into the 16s now and hoping to keep dropping.

and…

being left by my husband and cheated on. We were #Relationshipgoals, together since teenagers, mutual respect and love, but no, he decided that wasn’t enough

Yes, same for me.

that I’d lose my lovely dad to anything other than old age. He died unexpectedly at a very healthy 67 from stroke. Still doesn’t feel real.

Using dating apps. I am not insulting anyone who uses them or saying any women who use them are 'bad' in any way. I just always assumed I would meet someone natually like a lot of women I know did. I never thought I would even try online dating.

All of us;
Go through a pandemic
Go through a cost of living crisis and war in Europe

Personally;
Being assaulted and part of a trail where there were 8 victims that night
Almost loosing my perfectly healthy baby
Bereaved by suicide
Being resilient in the face of adversity

Getting married for the first time in my mid forties to a really wonderful man after years of lame ass relationships

Having my first baby at 47. I never wanted kids, told my husband to be at the time emphatically that I didn’t want them, loved my life as it was, and babies bore me, but here I am, v happily pregnant and every day I shake myself to tell myself this IS really happening!

Owning a lovely house and being financially comfortable after growing up with no money

Having the man I married become an abusive alcoholic
Initiating divorce
Ending up widowed at 50
Losing both parents by age 51
Having a child with lifelong disabilities
Watching same child get A levels and go off to university and succeeding there
Being completely happy single

Being attractive. I was a very plain, overweight child. Once I 'blossomed ' I had no idea how to handle it. It's dwindling as I'm ageing but I'm still getting used to not being the fat, ignored, shy one.

Becoming a landlord in my early thirties
Not havinf a successful career after two degrees and working really really hard for years. Just wrong place wrong time.

Surviving an attempted murder at the hands of my ex. I'm a gay female who never thought this would happen to me as women largely aren't as violent. I've learned now that it is quite common.
I'll be back I am sure, my life has been a comedy of errors!

Nice - have a fab marriage- 12 years in now and it's great
Have an amazing DC
Decent career on OK money. Very stable and sure.

Not nice - lost mum relatively young and also have had to deal with dad's crap since then
Secondary infertility - thought because I got pregnant easily the first time, it would happen quickly again - nope!
Always thought I would end up in my dream industry. Never did though.

That my husband would have an affair. We were together years and so happy, and I thought people who ended up cheated on was just something that happened to people in relationships that obviously weren’t that great. I was so naive!

@ToastofLandon I'm in the same boat. I have one good friend who lives in another country. Other than that I only have acquaintances really, more than friends. Sometimes it's lonely but I've got used to it now. I've accepted that it's very hard to make close friends in your 40s.

-Being reported to SS by the DWP

-Then having SS call the police because I couldn't answer the door due to anxiety/agoraphobia/panic attack
-Having about 10 people force themselves into my home, unmasked, during Covid, though I'd told them I have massive anxiety over having strangers in my home and was distraught

-Then having the police take my child (in a squad car) for 2 days to her relatives, even though I told them it wasn't safe due to an alcoholic and sometimes violent relative. They were also very rude/cruel, told me I was a liar etc.

-Then they didn't contact me for days and only got my child back with the help of a solicitor despite their rules saying they had to contact me within timeframes etc, they didn't
-Then having to endure SS visits for a few weeks until they signed us off saying we were struggling but OK (which I already knew), admitting that my child should never have been taken in the first place!
-At no point had they offered any help at all to me or my child. I asked for help with 1 thing, they strung me along and in the end I had to go elsewhere for help, where I found out I am actually disabled and could ask for accommodations when I need them. According to SS, if I couldn't do everything I wasn't meeting my parental responsibilities, which was an underhanded threat.

Never thought I would be in this situation. I've never been wealthy but always put my child first. Child was EBF, cloth nappies, Montessori childcare, lessons for 3 instruments, sports and other extracurriculars, summer camps, holidays, has never wanted for anything, including love and care.

Never get mentally ill in the UK. Life will never be the same for me. Between my experiences with the NHS and SS, my trust in the system is gone.

Having a child
Getting divorced
Living in France
XH being an alcoholic

I never thought I’d get divorced or be a single parent.
However, I could not be prouder of my amazing children. It has also led to me working with other children who have taught me so much and hugely enriched my life. There have been moments where it has felt so hard but mainly I feel incredibly lucky.
I am so sorry for those of you who have lost people you love or been unable to live the life you wanted 💐

• Infertility. It was horrendous at the time but we ended up with 2 beautiful boys. Sorry for anyone who is going through this now.
• Redundancy. I really thought I had the most secure job in the world, but the pandemic happened and I was made redundant. It was an awful few months as we'd moved for work and had a large mortgage. Which led to...
• Paying off our mortgage before the age of 50. We moved to a cheaper area and eventually found new jobs. Redundancy was the best thing that ever happened to me (in the end).

Being in a loveless (for my part) and sexless marriage to a man who turned out to be an alcoholic.

On the plus side - nice house and 3 lovely kids. Very few people know about the first part.

I swore I'd never get married, I have been married twice. That I'd never have children, I have 6. That I'd never be with an abusive man, ex is an abuser. That I'd never ask a man out, I asked current partner. I'm very happy now, thought I'd never get over the abuse

Unwittingly marrying a repressed homosexual.

1. Having an abortion

1. Nearly destroying my relationship with a man who was everything I dreamed of

Amazingly he stuck with me and we are now married with an amazing 6 month old