Things that happened to you that you thought would never happen to someone like you?

[besentsl]

Me… abortion. Thought it happened to other women.

Later on a single parent. Was not at all what I thought I would allow to happen but of course you learn life isn’t like that! Many people said they couldn’t believe it had happened as I’m quite conservative and careful but it did!

Sometimes I don’t recognise me though I am still me. Anyone else experienced this?

I can totally sympathise with you here, I'm the same. It just sort of creeps up on you, doesn't it?

Having a normal life
Father was an alcoholic and committed suicide, been sexually abused as a child. Mother too occupied with herself to care. I moved out at 15. I turned out perfectly normal. Im happily married with two lovely teenagers. Financially doing well and in a very good position allround. But Im so very sorry for those of you who have suffered loss, poor health or see their beloved ones suffer - sending my thoughts! It’s a sad thread - makes me think how cruel life can be….

I ended up in an abusive relationship too, I didn't see it coming. My parents say they have a great marriage but actually a lot was projected on to me by a super defensive emotionally stunted mother and a co-dependent father. The rules of the family are that my mother receives NO feedback EVER
her feelings matter the most,
I don't have feelings, so if I say they hurt me that's an aggression against them,
my dad and my brother back her up always.

So, kind of not surprised that their great marriage lead me in to an abusive relationship.

Becoming poorly and my “successful day” shifting from a good says work to being a day I’ve managed to get dressed and do something.

being sexually assaulted

being dependent on benefits and constantly judged as a bad person as a result

I had a stroke when I was 33. Strokes were a thing that happened to old people. Not 33 year olds who took contraception even though it was listed as a possibility on the warning section of the pill leaflet.

DH becoming suicidal. Should have seen it coming but didn't. It's shaken me to the core. Though he did work so hard to feel better and is doing better now.

Getting caught up in a leasehold home.

Just struggling along with the day to day stuff. Guess I expected to be that energetic all under control person!

Going through 2 trials to get the man that abused me as a child successfully convicted.

being housed by the local authority.

Having 2 children with additional needs who both refuse school. Having one child with PDA which means traditional parenting has to go out the window.

Being investigated by social services as a result. Being unable to work due to above difficulties.

Getting a distinction in my masters with all the above going on.

Family estrangement. As I child, my family was perfectly normal, it seemed to me. I was very happy. We had a pleasant, middle class existence, all very wholesome. Now I’m estranged from both my only sibling and my father, and they are estranged from each other too. Everything is irrevocably fractured. It is so surreal to watch old family Super 8 films which show my father being so loving and kind to me, and to try to equate that with the cruel and manipulative man I now know him to be.

That I would move to Asia and live there for 7 years, still there with no plans to move home and both of my children were born there. I didn’t even visit Asia until my twenties.

My Baby nearly died at 3 months from bacterial meningitis.

Nice story.

Positive and negative for me.

positive: a university education, owning a lovely detached house, and building a house for my mum, despite growing up in poverty. (Thanks to grammar school and a full maintenance grant.)

negative: getting cancer in my 30’s, having to live with a genetic condition that will eventually kill me and having an autistic child, especially hard when said autistic child was kicked out of his school - I was always a people-pleasing swot.

I'm sorry ☹️

Being broody, I was that person who never wanted babies, until I did.....

@watcherintherye - nice story

@PoppyDrug
Ive been through a few of those things . I hope your doing better now. It’s sounds like very low self esteem. Never let a man pressure you into anything your worth so much more than that x sending you hugs 🤗

Getting married

having a child

SEEING 30 DEGREES IN SCOTLAND!!

Years of trying to conceive, multiple miscarriages. Finally two children, both registered disabled.

Saying ‘Me too’ to lots of these points . Our lives can be fractured messes but we try to survive, don’t we?

Having a disabled child. I’m ashamed to say that when I was a teenager I used to feel discomfort around people with learning disabilities or severe physical disabilities and try to avoid them. What an entitled, uninformed twat I was. Never crossed my mind that I’d have a son “like that” but what a lot of valuable lessons I learned! And what a treasure he is, my special 22 year old young man whose milestones have all been so hard won.

And … having a disabled child after I’d already had one that was diagnosed with a serious, congenital life threatening illness. I think I seriously thought that made me immune to having further children with health problems.

I was extremely naive. I am now 50 and wiser. But still still learning.

Made me cry reading it, sending you love x

I was in a physically and mentally abusive relationship for 9 years, it was awful when I look back and I would have never thought I would have let myself stay so long.

@catscatscurrantscurrants snap. I too had a breakdown in 2020 altho I still hate to admit it. As a result I now keep an eye on my mental health instead of just ignoring it and running on empty. I hope you are well now 💐

I never thought I would be married, divorced, married 2nd husband, and now basically separated all by 40. After my parents bad relationship I never wanted to go through a divorce.

I didn't imagine I wouldn't be able to walk for a year, after childbirth (spine problem).